Gratitude

Gratitude is a theme I have been thinking about a lot lately.  I have often tried to be more gracious for the life I have, but somehow fail to keep this up.  I thought for a while I would write five things down every night.  I soon found fatigue, a headache, or simply a good book made me forget my plan.  I switched to thinking about five things while I was drifting off to sleep, but often found I drifted before I was done with my list.  I have tried to be gracious for small things that pop up in my day, but find sometimes overwhelming, negative thoughts pop up in this space instead.

Tammy recently talked about a lovely book called One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, by Ann Voskamp.  This book has a beautiful cover with lovely hands holding a bird's nest.  It intrigued me so I ordered it.  I have been reading it slowly, savoring the writers words and thoughts.  I may not dive into the scriptural parts of the book, but the main concept intrigues me.  Giving thanks for everything that we can, helps us appreciate the life we have, living it fuller, and being more in the moment.

I have read many books with this same theme, and I have tried to take a moment here and there to appreciate the beauty of nature, a warm hug from my son, laughter and love.  I find it is so easy to forget, as life gets busy and you are ripping your hair out with work and chores, traffic and petty arguments.  In her book, Ann Voskamp began a list of little things that she noticed that she was gracious for.  Her list grew and grew, and as her list grew so did her happiness and true appreciation of the life she has.

 I have decided to take a chance and make my own list.  Maybe it will help me be in the moment for just a few seconds more when I see a beautiful butterfly hovering over my flowers, or a beautiful full moon peeking from behind the hazy evening clouds.   Maybe I will notice the intense love I feel for my sons as I hug them, or laugh harder when one of my little patients says something funny.

There are no rules for this new project.  I can write when I want to and take a break if I need to.  I will not chastise myself if I don't follow through for a few days, I will let the flow of this challenge create itself as I move through my days. 

If you are wondering if the death of my friend has anything to do with this, you are absolutely correct.  While I had been contemplating this project for a while I think her death has made me want to savor more of life.  Yes we all say that when something bad happens, appreciate every moment you are here, live each day to the fullest.  We have heard them all, time and time again.  But do we do it?  I know I don't.  And I have survived cancer, you would think I would be right up there positive and living beautifully, each and every day I am here.  Life starts to slowly creep back in, laundry needs to be done even though you have a horrible headache.  Your kids need to be driven here and there, while you need to work and grocery shop.  Life creeps in and we keep moving.  But do we stop, breathe and notice the intense beauty of  the stars in the night sky, or hear the beautiful sound of the morning dove?

I am going to try to notice life, and be grateful for all the little things I take for granted, and don't notice near as much as I should.  My first entry was the word, Life.  I need to be more grateful for it.

Not far down from the beginning of my list was, The loving words of wonderful blogging friends.  You see, I may not tell you as much as I should that you all mean so much to me.  Sometimes you laugh with me, sometimes you cry.  You are always there giving me words of encouragement, sending positive thoughts, and telling me you care.  I don't know how I have come to rely on all of you, but I do.  I can not even find the words to thank you enough for your time, for including me in your thoughts, and your lives.  And for being there day after day, on my little blog, visiting from around the world, and simply caring.

,

Of course you know who is mentioned a lot already in my little orange book.  Beautiful brown eyes looking at me with love.  Soft, warm, fur to nuzzle my nose in.  A sloppy, slobbery smile.

So are you in?  Want to give it a try with me?

So Sad

I am feeling a bit distracted lately, there is so much to think about.  I sure have not been blogging, and barely reading blogs, so I apologize for my absence.  My young friend died of cancer last night.  It is so sad, a 38 year old mother of two wonderful kids.  A beautiful woman ravaged by cancer in just four short months.  It went everywhere in her body, every organ, her skin and her brain, in four short months.  We were friends, I loved to sit near her at swim meets and hear her smart mouth.  She was a hoot! She was so brave and strong, she met cancer straight on and fought until her very last breath.   And oh she was full of piss and vinegar that is for sure.  Actually she was like this almost to the very end.  She was bossy and really funny.  She had more energy than I could ever muster. 

 She was feisty and fiercely loved her children, her husband and the Packers.  Her children and husband will eventually find a way to move forward, it will be hard, and never the same, but they will have to.  They were the picture perfect family until cancer came knocking on their door four short months ago.  

I know there is always a greater Plan, one we are not to know the answers to while we are here on this Earth.  But I have to say that sometimes the Plan really stinks, sucks, is horrible and pathetic.  Will her lovely daughter grow up to find the cure to cancer?  Will her son become the most amazing firefighter ever, just like his Dad?  We don't know, but for now all I know is that this amazing woman has left us, and it was way, way to early in her life to end.  It isn't fair, it just plain sucks.  So that is where I am today, so sad that the world has lost this amazing woman, just like so many amazing people dieing from cancer everyday.  It just doesn't make sense to me at all.

Gauge, You and I have a problem

First of all Hello!  I have not posted in a week, and that is a bit long for me.  I took my youngest to Indiana to visit a friend this past weekend.  I ended up getting a horrid cold, you know the kind that makes you all shaky, and achy, and ready to feel very sorry for yourself.  I spent most of my time in the hotel room, a room that I really did not want to spend time in at all.  Not the nicest of rooms, we were trying to cut costs a bit, and well lets just say if we go back I won't be staying there again.  Due to this extended time in the room, I had the opportunity to get some work done on some projects, and I have come to the conclusion that no matter how hard I try I can not get gauge. 

For you non-knitting, non-crocheting people out there ( you may want to bypass this post entirely) according to my American Heritage Dictionary, gauge is, "The fineness of knitted cloth as determined by the number of loops per 1 1/2 inch."  In more simple terms it is a form of measurement.  For knit or crochet it is often measured in stitches per inch, and you create a 4 inch square to determine how many stitches per inch and rows it takes to create that square. Too many stitches you have too small of a hook or needles, not enough and you have too big of a hook or needle.  It seems simple enough, does it not?  

Some people never check gauge, I do.  I want to make sure what I am making is somewhere in that ballpark of what is required in the pattern.  Gauge may not be as important for a pillow or a blanket, but for clothing it is essential.  So why is it so hard for me to achieve?    Take these latest projects.

 Another circle vest in the Vanna choice yarn I got for under $8.  The recommended hook size is a J.  Okay great, I took several hooks of various sizes with me just in case, see I was thinking ahead.  I created my 4 inch square by using 11 dc, it measured out perfectly width wise, still on the short end length wise just like my gray circle vest, but I can adapt to that.  I even double checked before I ripped out my test swatch.  I started my vest and went to town, crocheting away.  Now you would think I was a smart person after all my crochet issues, did I measure again while creating the back?  No way.  I was being a bit too smug I think because as I was ready to create the arm holes, I decided to measure and came up short.  Like 3 inches short, with the width of the garment, so my gauge was off again.  Grumble, grumble, grouch, grouch and a lot of rip, rip, ripping soon occurred.  I have moved to a K hook and have now started over, but boy did I lose a lot of time.

 Apparently crochet is not the only area I have an issue with gauge.  You see I know I am a tight knitter, so going up a needle size is no problem for me.  For the lovely Sawtelle sweater I made my swatch, getting perfect gauge on the recommended size 8 needles.  I measured again just to be sure and again ripped out my test swatch.  I cast on my required 150 stitches and started knitting the mind numbing, row after row of garter stitch.  I love the way garter stitch looks, it doesn't curl on the sides or bottom, so the end result is fantastic.  But the rows compact on themselves making you feel that all that knitting is getting you absolutely nowhere. Row, after 150 stitch row, and when you finally get the guts to measure the length, you seem to have made no progress at all.  So in my gauge smugness, once again I did not measure my work in progress.  That is until I was packing up to leave the aforementioned, disgusting hotel.  What is this?  I am knitting a sweater that is much wider than I thought!  Actually 3 inches wider.  If I had merged my two projects I would be almost perfect!  Let me just say there is no freaking way I am ripping this baby out.  A slightly bigger sweater is better than one that is too small.  I can adjust the needle size from here if needed.

So the moral of this pathetic, gauge story is no matter how hard I try I can not seem to get the required gauge for my projects.  Yes, I know I should keep measuring all along, checking this out so my projects actually worked out nicely, but then I would not have a post to write about today.

By the way Max says, "Hello."  He is sending his girlfriend Kim across the big pond, some healing, Golden Retriever love.

I Should Have

 I should have blocked this vest before posting it in my previous post, look how much better it looks after a quick round with the iron. 

 I am really intrigued with the simplicity of how this is made.  I think there can be easy variations if you are so inclined in that department, I unfortunately am not.

 I should have waited before I started another new project, but somehow those knitting needles jumped into my hands.  This is the Sawtelle sweater by Berroco, a free pattern you can find on their website.

 I am loving the colors of this yarn (Berroco Remix), but I am finding the yarn a bit too easy to split.  So I am not thrilled and really have to be careful when I am knitting.

 I should have resisted the crazy idea that the Crochet Circle Vest needed to be worked up again so I could find out why I wasn't getting gauge.  I actually went out and purchased Vanna's Choice which was the recommended yarn, to see where I went wrong.  I figure with my 40% off coupons this vest will cost a whopping $7.49 when completed.  If I don't get around to making it then at least I am not out a whole lot of money.

 I should have been working on this Vickie Howell Crochet Jacket called Penny Arcade.  The back is done, and one front has been ripped out.  It is sitting there in this basket screaming for me to get back on track.

I should have taken Max for a longer walk this morning, but he pulled me home.  He was waiting for the pool to go off and did not want to miss it.  We walked early, and I kept telling him he had plenty of time, but he did not quite seem to understand.

 I should have been more careful on my walk with Max, I almost stepped on this beautiful gray feather, it blended in with the sidewalk.  We found the darker feather just a few steps away from the gray one. 

 Look what we found a few days ago, lovely blue markings on this one.

 Hope you have a wonderful day and thanks so much for stopping by to say hello.

Rain and 32

 It is raining like crazy out this morning so what is there to do?  Hmmmm... I could be cleaning, or doing laundry, but no I am trying to take pictures of a vest I have not blocked, in a dark home, for my own entertainment.  We know this is not going to go well, as my photography skills are challenged even in the best light.  I think I should scrap this post right now, yet I keep going.

   

 This is the Crochet Circle Vest Shrug found on Lazy T Crochet.  It is one of the very few patterns I have purchased, but once I saw it I had to have it.  It is all over the Pinterest Universe, so I am sure you have seen it.  Believe me the designers photos are beautiful, her vest is blocked and gorgeous.  Mine is hanging out, whacky and not even centered on the hanger.  Can I say it looks better on, and will you believe me?

 Note to self, block all projects before posting in the future so you do not embarrass yourself.  Regardless, I am bored, so here you go.  I used Plymouth Yarn, Encore for this project.  It took almost all of the 3 skeins I bought, 200 yards each.  In the lovely color, 0389, why it is a number and not an actual name, I have never figured out.  The pattern calls for Vanna's Choice yarn, I might have to compile my Joann's coupons and buy a few skeins to see the difference this yarn might make.  I had to adapt this pattern quite a bit.  And that is really not the easiest thing for me.  I went up two sizes in crochet hooks to get gauge, but could not come close to getting the gauge lengthwise.  I ended up adding 8 rows of double crochet to the back to make it the required length.

 I started out making the small size, as I am thin and have absolutely no chest, this usually works for me, but due to the restricted length issues I was having, I added on the extra stitches at the arm hole that would make this a large.  I followed the large pattern after that and it ended up fitting.  You are not going to see me in it as I am still in my jammies, and it just might look a bit better once blocked.

One of my knitter friends tried it on at my knitting group on Friday, she of the lovely shape and perfect bust size looked really good in it, hopefully I will too!  I learned the very fun Foundationless Crochet technique to start this project off.  There are lots of YouTube videos for this.  It took me a few tries but then it was easy.  I still think I like your basic chain foundation, but a new technique is fun to learn.  Completed project number 32 for the year for me.  Can you count it if it isn't blocked yet?

This is going to be a strange day I can feel it.  I woke up out of a deep sleep at 5:37 AM, jumping out of bed as I thought I had overslept.  It is SUNDAY! I could not go back to sleep even though it is dark, rainy and thundering out, a perfect morning to sleep in.  I think this might be a long day!  Maybe I can take a nap.

Hope your Sunday is wonderful.

A Treat

We are so busy all the time that I think it is sometimes hard to remember to give ourselves a treat, even if it is a small one.  My youngest goes to high school for four periods a day, he virtual schools three at home.  That means every day he needs to be picked up at 10:45 AM.  If I work in the morning I can just barely make it in time back to the school to get him on time.  If I work in the afternoon I have to pick him up, drop him off at home and get ready for my drive to work.  This week due to the Holiday and a family that canceled, I only had to work two days.  So I decided, with my very limited time yesterday I would drive to the water before school pick up.  I did not have time to really make it to the beach, so I decided to just go to the causeway and stick my toes in whatever sand there was.  It ended up being beautiful out.  The sun came out from behind the clouds, the water lapped gently at the shore, and I was pretty much alone with the beach and my thoughts.  Sit back, take a slow deep breath, and come take a look.  Give yourself a treat for a few moments.

I walked around for 30 minutes just looking, smelling the salty air and enjoying my time.  Hope you enjoyed yours, too.  Happy weekend.

A Morning Walk

Max and I were up early today.  Youngest son leaves for school at 6:04 AM.  That means I am up at 5:25, to make sure he gets up.  Neither of us are morning people.  Max isn't either.  But as soon as it got light out Max and I decided to make the most of our morning and headed out for a walk.  The temperature was just slightly cooler this morning, at least slightly cooler for Florida.  Want to join us?

 The sun was just starting to come up, back-lighting the clouds.

 The waning Blue Moon was still visible this morning.

 Mr or Ms Alligator was out early this morning.

 This bird is in this same spot every morning looking for a bit of breakfast.

 This is the entrance to the back of my house for the street behind me.  It is used by everyone in my subdivision wanting a short cut home.

As I pivot around you can see the bridge to the left where the bird was looking for breakfast, Mr or Ms Alligator is down there on the right.

Max and I had a lovely time, hope you did too.  Have a great day.