The way things really are.......

Sometimes I get a little frustrated with all the lovely moments posted on blogs and social media.  That is a big reason I try not to be on social media because I find it to be so false.  I try to be honest on my blog, there are good moments and bad.  I want to post the reality of my life as much as I can without revealing too much.  This is my almost cleaned up desk this morning.  You should have seen it last night while I was finishing up another evaluation and my monthly paperwork.  It was covered with files, piles of papers, and a cup of water.  There were also papers and files all over the floor.  That is not always my reality but it sure was yesterday.

 
These past three weeks have been exceptionally busy for me at work.  I have new patients that I can't say no to even if I should.  I have been pulling in four 12-13 hours days in a row each week and frankly I am tired.  I am so thankful for my job, it is a blessing to me, but still I am wiped out.

This pile of yarn is being sorted for my next attempt at the Sunday Shawl.  Little Buddy and I made a mad dash to the yarn store nearest me last Friday.  I wanted a gray yarn for the body and thought I might be able to use leftovers from the stash for the colorful edging.  I have not visited this store for years and years because the owner was a miserable woman.  I know that is not nice to say but she was.  I vowed not to go back after several mean encounters with her.  She recently sold the place to a very nice woman, I liked her a lot.  It is a shame the selection is not very great so I probably won't be back.  I still have my favorite store about 45 minutes away from me, but near several of the patients I visit.  I will keep going there.  I really like to buy locally if I can, I need to feel the yarn and smell it too before I can make a purchase.  I know I am a bit weird.  Have you seen Teresa's Sunday Shawl?  It is so gorgeous I want to copy it stitch for stitch.

Coffee tables aren't really for coffee are they?   This is the cleaned up version of the table.  We usually have toys everywhere.  Currently there are magic tricks, coloring activities, some birthday cars, Marshall Robot as Little B calls him, and of course Little B's crutches.

Little Buddy and I had a slow start to the morning, or maybe I should say he did.  I had to catch up on chores that were neglected all week long.  He has had a rough week, most of my little ones have also and I have no idea why.  After my third 12 hour day in a row we both had several tantrums over writing the number 3.  I know, don't ask.  Why was I making him write the number 3 when we were both so tired and cranky?  Well I do follow through whether I should or not and he did not do his work for the baby sitter that day.  Mind you his work involves writing his numbers 1-10, writing his name and reading two books.  Not a huge workload in an eight hour day.  I told him he would have to complete it with me if he did not cooperate with the sitter.  By far not my finest moment as a mom.  Lucky for me he is very forgiving.  After I got my wits about me we had a cuddle and said some sorrys and all was put back in order.

Mezzaluna Wrap when will I get a chance to work on you?  I ended up frogging down to row three last weekend because I was just not getting this pattern.  How could it be so hard when others have made two or three of them with no issue?  After some detective work, (really sometimes I think I am not that bright), I realized I was trying to make sense of a shortened version of the original pattern.  The original pattern can be found two or three versions down on the pattern link page.  It is the Mezzaluna Wrap English Version updated June 29.  Try that one if you are interested in making this beautiful shawl.

I was so busy this past week I almost missed my roses blooming.  The top photo shows how humid it was here this morning.  I had to wipe the moisture off my lense to get a clear photo.  The heat here has been really bad this year.  Little Buddy wants to go out on his new big wheel when I get home from work and frankly I can't handle more than 15 minutes of it.  Heat and high humidity can be so hard to deal with.  I feel so bad for all those people working outside in these conditions.

After I turned around from taking the rose photo I had a great surprise.  An unexpected gardenia at the very top of my bush.  It reminds me of a lotus flower which should bring me a sense of peace.   I need it with a very stubborn six year old, a loved one nursing a broken heart, work, heat, and the current pathetic state of our country.  The thought my precious, stubborn boy and many like him may lose the very insurance that keeps them moving towards functional independence and provides for their complex medical needs is frankly overwhelming to me.  The thought that politicians are gleeful about taking away Medicaid and affordable healthcare makes me ill.   That the current resident of the oval office is the biggest bully in the land is disheartening.  I could go on and on............but I'll stop here, try to take a deep breath and get back to that laundry that needs to be folded.  The way things are are not always wonderful, they are real and that is my life.  Maybe the weekend is just what I need.  Hope your week went a bit smoother than mine.  But isn't it good to know that everyone is  not happy with beautiful flowers, perfect projects and perfect families all the time?  A bit of reality is good for us all.