Sometimes knitting really helps. It helps in all areas of your life, or better yet helps you to tolerate life. I have been in a bit of a knitting funk lately. So much on my mind and so little time to sort everything out. I have been outside in my garden when time and weather permits. I have also had a bit more paper work than usual for work, so that again sucks up knitting time. I haven't been all that excited about my projects, so again the funk continues. I finally finished my Mother-in-Law's scarf, good thing she arrives today. I have thought and thought about new projects, but haven't felt the new project thrill I usually get.
I have been overly stressed lately. Work, and family, are always on my mind. I am a worrier. I worry that my patients are sick or not getting enough from the therapy I provide for them. I worry about my children, are they progressing like they should be? Why aren't their grades better? Why does my youngest get ill so frequently? Why can't my oldest stop eating sugar even though he is a severe hypoglycemic? Will they grow up to be good, respectable young men? I worry about my parents, they live close by but I don't have enough time to see tham as often as I should. They are getting older and having some difficulties. I worry about my husband, he is stressed with this economy and trying to maintain a living for all his employees.
Now I have a brand new, very urgent worry. My next door neighbor has recently been diagnosed with pre-leukemia. This new cancer is the result of treatment she received 15 years ago for Hodgkin's Disease. She is my age, 45. She is the Mother of two like me. She has been blindsided by this, as has her family. We have been talking a lot these last few days. I try to give her space with her thoughts and with her family. I also want her to know I am here for her. How much space is too much? I hope I know when she needs to talk and I hope I am given the gift to know what to say. My neighbor and I have fought the battle of cancer before. I think that is why she can talk to me. I can't believe anyone has to fight it twice, it just doesn't seem fair. But life really isn't fair.
So besides talking to her and sending her my healing prayers, I have decided to knit for her. I guess you can call it a prayer shawl. I like that idea. I can wrap her in my love and healing thoughts every time I work on this project for her. I like to think of her as wrapped in white healing light. I believe this cream silk will help me with that visualization.
I purchased this beautiful yarn when in Rhinebeck, with my sister. I have been waiting to find the perfect project. Funny, sometimes the perfect project finds you. I will make my standard drop stitch shawl. It is an easy pattern, but really beautiful. This way I can concentrate on the love I put into it, not the pattern. I will envision my lovely neighbor wrapped in this healing shawl, with all my prayers for her healthy future, knit into every stitch. It is the best I can do for now. I hope it helps her as well as me. Keep her in your prayers, she needs as many as she can get.