Friday, May 18, 2012

Why?

I am having a tough week, and because of that I feel a bit whacked out (actually really tired and angry).  So I have been pondering a few things...

Why does your husband/son come in and want to have a big conversation with you when you are watching the final singer on American Idol?  And usually the conversation goes something like this, "Who is that, are they good?  Where are they from?  Do you like this song?"  I don't know because you are talking and I can not hear them.

Why do women go through menopause?  I'll tell you it is kicking my butt right now, and I am surrounded by men so they don't, "get" it. After periods, child bearing years, premenstrual syndrome,  cramps, and postpartum depression we should have had enough.  No! We have to be going through the opposite of puberty, while we have kids in puberty!  Not fair I say!

Why, when going through menopause, and I need more and more time to just be alone, everyone in my family feels they need to be with me more and more?

Why do I have to ask you nicely to take your laundry upstairs and put it away seventeen million times, but when I get mad at seventeen million and one you say all I do is yell? 

Why are men so self centered?  I try to raise my boys to see the big picture around them but I swear there is a male gene the should be named, "Me, Me, Me." 

 Why, in a week where I desperately need to knit or crochet, can I not find the time?
 Why can I not knit an arm for a monster that does not remind me of male anatomy?  I swear I followed the directions this time and did not veer off at all. I am scared to death to stuff these.  Obviously I am surrounded by way, way too much testosterone.
 Why do I feel the need to ask if you are really going to graduate before I mail out your announcements?  I swear I will be in a panic until that diploma is in my hands!  And let me remind you Mr 18 year old, you have two more weeks of school, so get cracking!

Why do people vote they way they do?  Do you really value your daughter, grand-daughter, nieces or the little girl next door so little that you do not want them to have equal pay for the same education and work level of their male peers?  And you do not want them to have the same health opportunities?  Really, we can supply a bunch of old men Viagra, but not women birth control pills?
 Why are so many people hurting right now?  You hear it all over blog land that people are going through a difficult time.  I see it with my friends fighting for their lives and I just wonder why we are all tested so much?  I know all you can do is offer a hug, kind words and maybe a dinner or two, it just seems like it is a difficult time for so many people.

Why no matter how much I do for my parents it is never enough, and the daughter they haven't seen in 11 years is perfect.

Why can I not sit through a two day workshop without wanting to shoot myself in the head?  I had to attend one this week and I swear I can not sit still.  I am a mover, at home and at work, so sitting there trying to pay attention is so hard.  I know why kids have difficulty paying attention in school.
Why do our beloved pets have such a short lifespan?  My Max is only 7 but he sure acts old.  He has a bad hip, and facial muscular atrophy.  He is also allergic to wheat and corn. He is so wonderful and frankly the only one with testosterone in my house that is not annoying me right now.


37 comments:

delia hornbook said...

Oh bless your heart all i want to do right now is come over there give you a hug and take you out for a walk in the country air and find a nice place and treat you to a nice cup of tea and a slice of cake. I heard and felt everything you said just then. life really is a test at times and we must try and take something positive from every negetive experience and turn it into something good don't let life or circumstances beat us. I live in a house full of men to even my cat is male my partner i am very lucky as he is a giver but my boys can be very lazy and selfish at times. I just think its a boy thing and hopefully they will grow of it ;-) I hope you feel better soon. Big hugs, dee xx

delia hornbook said...

Oh bless your heart all i want to do right now is come over there give you a hug and take you out for a walk in the country air and find a nice place and treat you to a nice cup of tea and a slice of cake. I heard and felt everything you said just then. life really is a test at times and we must try and take something positive from every negative experience and turn it into something good don't let life or circumstances beat us. I live in a house full of men to even my cat is male my partner i am very lucky as he is a giver but my boys can be very lazy and selfish at times. I just think its a boy thing and hopefully they will grow out of it ;-) I hope you feel better soon. Big hugs, dee xx

Teresa said...

I am so sorry that you are having such a hard time right now! Life sometimes just likes to throw in some curbs that really test us! Lot's of whys that never really have answers! I hope writing this all down has put it on "paper" and out of your heart (as much as that is possible though). Hugs, I hope your day turns out better. I love the green yarn that you are using on your monster!

Claudia said...

And why is our father insane? There's too much to deal with right now, isn't there?

Love you,
Claudia

Stitchy Mc Floss said...

I wish I were closer to you, I'd pick you up for lunch and we'd leave those guys behind, but we'd get something special for Max because he's a sweetie. :)

This too shall pass...but I know what you mean, it seems like there is so much hurting and trouble in the world...so many people only think of themselves and make life difficult for those around them. But hang in there, your 18 year old will grow up (it takes men longer to mature) and one day he'll say he's sorry. You've taught him well, it's just taking a little time for it all to sink in with him, and he's still so young. 18 is a hard age, makes you think you know everything, and then later on you realize you knew nothing at all. Trust me, he'll change. :)

Try to make time for your knitting/crochet as much as possible, it's an investment in your sanity!

I can't wait to see your new monster finished...they are so cute. :)

((hugs)) and blessings always :)

Cozy Little House said...

Yes, I say yes to everything. First of all, because it gets my ire going fast, that daughter that hasn't seen them in 11 years hasn't been around to do anything wrong. Like people who die and suddenly their loved ones make them perfect. The menopause thing I have been going through for seven years now. I am probably divorced (part of it anyway) due to it. I have estranged myself to people due to it. I only have one male dog around, and that's the way it shall stay. No more men for me. Just pets. Honey, you need a vacation all by yourself. And as for those who get a vote about anything concerning our female anatomy, if they don't have female anatomy, they shouldn't even get a vote. Period.
Brenda

Dee said...

{{{Hugs}}}

I don't get the viagra/birth control thing either. The only answer I have is that politics is controlled by men.

The Garden Bell - Kate said...

So, I bet that made you feel better. Let it out. Let it all out. We are all here and feel the same. I totally get the siblings that live away and can do now wrong. I call them "the golden boys". Perfect brothers, that's what they are said "the little black sheep", oh, and that would be me. This too shall pass they say. Try and have a great weekend.

kathy b said...

Mere Honey......here's a huge hug. I have no answers....but I sure hear those questions loud and clear.
The two that rang to true it hurt were:
the one about all We do is yell and

THE parent comment about the perfect children.....

We are certainly in the sandwich generation time of our life.

MY hope for you: Be Nicer than Usual to yourself. You deserve it. Now, go get a pedicure or a massage or a facial and indulge yourself before you relax and knit....

THanks for a very honest, real and necessary post!

Crystal Rose Cottage said...

I hope that made you feel somewhat better getting that all out. I can so relate on everything you said....although I am passed where you are right now. It will get better, I promise you. I raised 2 boys, took care of my aging parents and I am 6 years passed my final period. One day it will all be over with and loved ones moved out or passed on and believe it or not, there will be days when you are going to miss it. Big hug :) Patti

Teresa said...

My dear friend, I have been around and I always read your posts--even if I don't write anything, all the time. I haven't been in a very good mood and above all a blogging mood, but that doesn't mean I've forgotten my sweet, dear friends.
Yeap. Menopause is the craps. I know all about it. It makes you feel like been a nag and complaining all the time, you're not 100% if you're alone but you're not well if you've got the guys all over you either.
Hang in there, my dear. You're not alone. A great, big hug to you!
xxx

Sentimentally Me said...

Ohhhhhh . . . big. heavy. sigh. I get it. All of it. ditto.

& having said that, I wish I could give you a big gurly hug to make you feel well, but we can pretend, right??!!

xoxox This too shall pass . . . .

thinking aboutcha! xox P

Grayseasailor said...

Meredith,thanks for sharing your concerns. I am thinking of them and you, and cheering you on to find peace that passes understanding. Hugs to you <3

Knitting Nix said...

Oh my goodness I hear you! Sending big squishy hugs your way. I hope things settle down for you and yours really soon and you can find some breathing room. xx

Kris said...

Oh MY!! I started out laughing so hard I was near tears! Shaking my head up and down in affirmation to your words!!! I have SO been there!!! I have three kids, all grown now, but are they ever really? I mean...I adore my family...but boy did I ever hear all of those same things you were saying!!! I had to have a total hysterectomy at age 40!! So I was plunged straight into menopause a good decade before mother nature intended. So now...12 years into it, I have a new doctor who suggests that I take Prozac for the severe hot flashes I experience. Hallelujah......it is working!!! Maybe you should try something like that too. I didn't want to take hormones, but those hot flashes were making me one crabby middle age lady!!! I must say, I feel SO much better now!!! Hugs to you my friend!
And aren't you a little youngish to be suffering through this business just yet!!!??? I thought you were a youngun!!
Oh...the knitted monster parts that look oddly like the male anatomy.....oh my lordy...I howled!!!!
XO Kris

The French Bear said...

What a funny girl! No I don't have any answers for you but all of your questions all very accurate.....my father only talks about how wonderful his sons are and yet it is always us girls that do everything for him......?
Poor Max, I can sympathize with him.....I feel so old and broken....
Mr. 18 year old will graduate and you will cry and be so proud of him!
I'll send you a hug ((((())))) hope things get better, you do know that your knitting is gorgeous and does inspire me, I love the crocheted skirt, what a lovely looking little monster.
I love to visit your blog, I know we can probably never answer these questions, but us gals can stick together and know that we care about each other!
Hugs,
Margaret B
xxx

Karen said...

Oh, Mere, I get every bit of this too! The menopause crap, the people talking in the middle of my favorite show, the sadness all around, the begging and pleading to take upstairs the laundry I just washed and folded and bought the clothes for you -- all of it! You are so real and I love that about you. I think we need to have a girls' retreat and invite all our favorite bloggers! What a hoot that would be!

BEACH BUNGALOW said...

You need to go visit Claudia.

S
xo

Annie @ knitsofacto said...

I made tea and cake for us all over at knitsofacto. Because wouldn't it be wonderful if the bloggy sisterhood could just get together and laugh the blues away. Hugs from afar x

by Teresa said...

I so totally agree with every single word. I had 2 boys and one girl.. and it was the girl who always remembered the special days.. here's hoping you end up with some nice DILs. So sorry to hear of Max's aging.. the bigger the dog, the shorter the life span. Our Buddy is supposed to live 14 years or so. Which means he's over halfway "expired". It's going to kill us when we lose him. All I can say is you need to stand up for yourself and take time and SPOIL yourself. (*(*(*(*(*( Hugs )*)*)*)*)*) Teresa :-)

Susanne said...

Dear friend, I read every word and every comment, and I echo these very same thoughts. At one time or another we have all walked in the same shoes. I was fortunate to have had an easy menopause, the worst that I suffered was those times when I could have thrown myself into a snow bank I was so warm, or at night when I threw the covers off only later to feel like I was freezing and had to cover up again. That went on for several years. I would flip the pillow to get the cool side next to my skin, and then I had to have 1 leg out from under the covers or I was roasting, all the while my husband was bundled up and snoring away. I would have sold my soul at times for just 1 good night's sleep. We raised 2 daughters, but it was not easy either. I had started up smoking after 6 years cessation, when our oldest was in high school. I hate to admit it but sometimes I felt like knocking her beautiful $3,000 teeth down her throat, especially when she would say hateful things to me. Yeah, I paid for the braces. The Viagra thing, makes no sense to me except to keep men wanting sex long after women discover their hobbies make them happier. For the past 10 years I could take it or leave it, and leave it made me happier. It is a man's world, everything is geared for men. And you are right, men are selfish. My youngest daughter, who will be 33 in June, has dated 6 young men since she was 18 and everyone of them was a flop. The one she was actually engaged to was raised by his grandparents and no matter what he did it "was cute" to them. You couldn't have asked for a more hard-working guy, and he made excellent money, but he liked to spend it too. For example, why would one young man need four 4-wheelers? Too many adult toys and no real desire to save money for a future. Your dog, what a sweetie, so loyal and truly best friend. I read a little girl's explanation of why her dog passed away, she said because a dog knows how to love more quickly than a person and so God takes them sooner. I read what you write about Max and realize that I am not the only one who thinks into the future and how difficult it will be when our furry companions are no longer with us. I know you have worried about your parents and it is hard to see a decline in their quality of life. It is hard to be all things to everybody. Yes, the child who lives the furthest is usually the one who can either do no wrong or the one who acts like they love their parents more than any of the other siblings. I saw it happen with my husband's one sister. I see it happening with 2 of my 5 younger brothers. They are not here to mow the grass, run to the grocery, do the banking and running to the lawyer's office and doctor's appointments. Why does the prodigal son come to mind? I have sat there listening to my mother chat on the phone with those 2 brothers, tell me the sun must have risen higher and set a bit prettier for her on that day. I sound petty, truly I was glad they called her, it was worth it to see her happy. So I get off of my soapbox and let you know that you are not alone in being bored to death at seminars. I went to a workshop once where I was actually counting how many times the speaker said "Ummm", I was about nuts after 7 hours of that. One would be hard pressed to not pray for food poisoning during the lunch break, lol.......you are a good mom, your sons are so lucky to have you. When your oldest goes off to OSU he will miss you. When he is standing there doing his own laundry he will realize how much. And you will miss him too, you can bet on it.
(((HUGS))) Susanne ♥

Susanne said...

Forgive me for being long winded and writing a Gone With the Wind novel :)

Jane said...

Oh so many of us understand what you say! If you don't fancy a weekend away with girlfriends, try sending all the boys for a weekend away, so you get the house to yourself and Max :) or maybe just have some peaceful walks away from everyone.
I think parents often seem to favour the child who they never see simply as a self-defence mechanism - it would be too painful to dwell on how their child doesn't come to see them.
Keep your chin up, Meredith: you'll get through this, as countless women before us have.
Jane x

mynestofyarnandbuttons said...

Oh Meredith, my sweet friend, I hear your frustration and concerns. I understand completely and agree with you....unfortunately, I don't know the answer to any of these unfair, unfortunate dilemmas. Oh, how I wish I did! But if there's any comfort in knowing I have similar questions and feelings and no answers either. I think we all just have to support each other and be good listeners and huggers!
Big hug to you my friend, xoRobin❤

kathy b said...

any better today Mere???

Sometimes a really good nights rest can't hurt. and some alone time knitting of course

Liz said...

Oh Meredith,

I am sorry you have to deal with so much at one time. I have always wondered why men are so self-absorbed. Every single one of them...it has to be in their DNA or genes. They lack consideration and self-awareness. So many men are just not aware of how selfish they really are. We can't tell them enough, but they just do not get it. I feel your pain. Our older loved ones treat the ones closest to them the worst, only because they know we won't leave them. We are safe...and the ones that are distant to them, they may leave or never visit again. I finally had to realize that and turn it into a positive and think that they actually loved me because I was there and knew I wouldn't leave.
I'm sooo glad Max is so considerate and loving. Take care of yourself, and I hope you have a better upcoming week.

Liz

Pradeepa said...

Meredith, I thought I was the only one feeling miserable lately, but surely I can see I am not alone. I hope everything gets back to normal for you soon.

Rizzi said...

MY SWEET MEREDITH.....
I ALSO AGREE WITH YOU AND ALL YOUR BLOGGER FRIENDS.....I'M 72.....SO I'VE BEEN THERE AND BACK.....AND YOU KNOW WHAT? MEN STILL DIDN'T CHANGE...
WHAT WILL IT TAKE.....GOD ONLY KNOWS.
BUT....I HOPE HE ASKS MARY FOR ADVICE
TAKE CARE MY FRIEND....HUGS GOING YOUR WAY....RIZZI

Deb said...

Hi Meredith
Thank you so much for stopping by and always leaving such lovely comments! I really appreciate it ♥ Nothing like a dog to make it all better :-) Max is adorable.

Grateful4Crochet said...

Oh Meredith, all I want to do is pop over and give you a big hug!!
But consider several virtual ones given!!

Rose Red said...

Oh, I'm so sorry you've been having an awful time of it lately. I so hear you on the men and on the issues around women (legislators trying to control them). I don't get it either, and it makes me so mad when I think about it.

I hope you've been having a good weekend, and can get away for a few hours by yourself or with your knitting and crochet friends.

minaandme said...

You've had one heck of a time lately! I'm so sorry to hear it :( I'll certainly keep you in my thoughts. You have some extremely valid points. I hope these next couple of weeks will be a turn around for you. In those precious moments you do have time to knit/crochet, don't worry about the whole male anatomy thing. I wouldn't have thought about it if you hadn't mentioned it. Do what you love to do and make those monsters without reservation! Chin up!
~Lacey

MaryMargaret said...

It sounds like you have way too much boy-ness around you! My trip through medication induced menopause was enough to make me cry for you as you have to face this. It's absolutely miserable, and it's completely unfair that men don't have to experience it. And I don't think that your monster arms look like penises at all- you've just got testosterone on the brain!

Now Am Found! said...

girlfriend, i know how you feel. You need a night out with the girls to vent! then back to caring for the testosterone addicted. God bless, love your blog. wish I cuold knit half so well

Leah said...

Oh darling girl, I have loved this post so very much. I love your honesty. I don't know how you do it being surrounded by so many blokes. You deserve a medal (or at least some decent time off to crochet!!). Just as well you have a beautiful furry male to keep you sane ay!!

I'm so sorry I haven't visited in a while, things have been nutty here but I'm trying to get back to normal. I'm in catch up mode so am heading to all your lovely posts now!

Take care and have a fab week hon,
Leah
xxxx

Casey said...

Sending you hugs! You need to get away on your own for a night or two :)

Kristen said...

I'm sorry, hon. I'm headed there myself pretty soon, and I'm not looking forward to it. Think of menopause as a bridge to cross, and there will be peace on the other side, or so my friends who have been there tell me. Meanwhile, I am having a good chuckle over your ongoing monster arm issues--"I am scared to death to stuff these" just cracked me up! Chin up, gal, it'll be okay. :)