Gratitude

Gratitude is a theme I have been thinking about a lot lately.  I have often tried to be more gracious for the life I have, but somehow fail to keep this up.  I thought for a while I would write five things down every night.  I soon found fatigue, a headache, or simply a good book made me forget my plan.  I switched to thinking about five things while I was drifting off to sleep, but often found I drifted before I was done with my list.  I have tried to be gracious for small things that pop up in my day, but find sometimes overwhelming, negative thoughts pop up in this space instead.

Tammy recently talked about a lovely book called One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, by Ann Voskamp.  This book has a beautiful cover with lovely hands holding a bird's nest.  It intrigued me so I ordered it.  I have been reading it slowly, savoring the writers words and thoughts.  I may not dive into the scriptural parts of the book, but the main concept intrigues me.  Giving thanks for everything that we can, helps us appreciate the life we have, living it fuller, and being more in the moment.

I have read many books with this same theme, and I have tried to take a moment here and there to appreciate the beauty of nature, a warm hug from my son, laughter and love.  I find it is so easy to forget, as life gets busy and you are ripping your hair out with work and chores, traffic and petty arguments.  In her book, Ann Voskamp began a list of little things that she noticed that she was gracious for.  Her list grew and grew, and as her list grew so did her happiness and true appreciation of the life she has.

 I have decided to take a chance and make my own list.  Maybe it will help me be in the moment for just a few seconds more when I see a beautiful butterfly hovering over my flowers, or a beautiful full moon peeking from behind the hazy evening clouds.   Maybe I will notice the intense love I feel for my sons as I hug them, or laugh harder when one of my little patients says something funny.

There are no rules for this new project.  I can write when I want to and take a break if I need to.  I will not chastise myself if I don't follow through for a few days, I will let the flow of this challenge create itself as I move through my days. 

If you are wondering if the death of my friend has anything to do with this, you are absolutely correct.  While I had been contemplating this project for a while I think her death has made me want to savor more of life.  Yes we all say that when something bad happens, appreciate every moment you are here, live each day to the fullest.  We have heard them all, time and time again.  But do we do it?  I know I don't.  And I have survived cancer, you would think I would be right up there positive and living beautifully, each and every day I am here.  Life starts to slowly creep back in, laundry needs to be done even though you have a horrible headache.  Your kids need to be driven here and there, while you need to work and grocery shop.  Life creeps in and we keep moving.  But do we stop, breathe and notice the intense beauty of  the stars in the night sky, or hear the beautiful sound of the morning dove?

I am going to try to notice life, and be grateful for all the little things I take for granted, and don't notice near as much as I should.  My first entry was the word, Life.  I need to be more grateful for it.

Not far down from the beginning of my list was, The loving words of wonderful blogging friends.  You see, I may not tell you as much as I should that you all mean so much to me.  Sometimes you laugh with me, sometimes you cry.  You are always there giving me words of encouragement, sending positive thoughts, and telling me you care.  I don't know how I have come to rely on all of you, but I do.  I can not even find the words to thank you enough for your time, for including me in your thoughts, and your lives.  And for being there day after day, on my little blog, visiting from around the world, and simply caring.

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Of course you know who is mentioned a lot already in my little orange book.  Beautiful brown eyes looking at me with love.  Soft, warm, fur to nuzzle my nose in.  A sloppy, slobbery smile.

So are you in?  Want to give it a try with me?