Mere: Welcome to Mereknits, beautiful Plymoth Yarn Camino Alpaca.
Yarn: I am so happy to be here.
Mere: I have to tell you I am in love with your softness, and beautiful texture.
Yarn: Oh my you are going to make me blush!
Mere: Tell us a little about yourself.....
Yarn: Well I was innocently sitting on the shelf in the yarn store, when along came Meredith who almost squealed in delight at the prospect of buying me at 50% off. She picked me up, scoffed a bit at the $7 full price for only 56 yards and then put me in her basket.
Mere: How did she manage to make you into this wonderful project?
Yarn: Well you see it is a bit of a story. Meredith sometimes thinks she knows everything. I mean she just doesn't listen, and if you try to listen very carefully yarn will tell you what it wants to become. First she tried to use me to weave! I know it sounds ghastly doesn't it!!! She compressed my beautiful fibers and I lost all my gorgeousness. Thank goodness she quickly saw the error of her ways.
Next, she grabbed a large crochet hook, she thought a nice airy cowl was in order. I again scoffed at the idea, I mean look at me! I am a beautiful thick to thin yarn with a beautiful, soft flow. But that Meredith, my goodness she would not listen. She tried to make me into a dc cowl, twice! Yes you read that right, twice! First she chained a million stitches and made a dc in each chain, after two rows she saw the error of her ways, all that twisting was not showing off how beautiful I am! Plus the dc's were uneven due to my thin to thickness. Did she learn from this, well no, she is a bit slow on the uptake! She ripped me back, quite carelessly if you ask me, and crocheted me up again into a dc separated by a chain one pattern. Same thing happened, why am I not surprised!
So finally Meredith figured out I needed to be knit.
Mere: My goodness! You have been through so much, did she get it right this time?
Yarn: No, bless her, she is sometimes quite daft. She tried a simple stockinette pattern, which made me look beautiful and all but I was starting to curl. Really how long has this woman been knitting? She knows stockinette curls! And I am much too beautiful to end up curled in on myself around someones neck!
Mere: The horror! You must have been quite beside yourself!
Yarn: I was, but frankly after a few minutes I convinced her to rip me out yet again and do a simple pattern. Cast on 25 stitches with nice size 10 1/2 needles. Knit 5, purl 5 and so on until the end of the row. On the next row it is the opposite, purl 5, knit 5 and so on. Do this for 7 rows and then switch the pattern. It is called basket-weave. Repeat until almost all your yarn is gone, sew together after making one small twist to make it into an infinity cowl, and you are done! She used all of my 220 yards and frankly is feeling quite smug that she made this whole project for under $18 instead of the $35 original price.
Mere: That is quite a bargain!
Yarn: Just because I was on sale do not presume I am cheap!
Mere: I would never make that mistake, you are beautiful, soft and lovely. You should be proud of what you have become.
Yarn: Oh I am, if only she had listened to me in the first place I would have been completed many days ago. So for all of your readers who play with yarn, let this be a lesson, listen to your yarn, it will tell you what it wants to be.
Mere: Amen to that!