Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Taking some time

As you know the first few months of the year have been a whirlwind for us.  A new little one and losing loved ones, all mixed up with lots of work and the daily grind of life.  We are now about to lose my Mother.  Her time is very, very near.  This past week I have spent as much time as I can with her, watching her sleep peacefully, drifting away.  I sit by her bedside trying to crochet, but my mind wanders to her life and what she has meant to me.  I watch her take each breath knowing that they are all so numbered now.  I feel her pulse weakening and I sit and watch her.  I talk to the wonderful people who have taken such good care of her and thank them for being there for her at this part of her life.  

Life is a wonderful ride, and she has had a great one.  She was adored by her parents, absolutely loved and cherished by my Father.  She had four children, 11 grandchildren and 8 great-grandchildren.  She has always been there for us and for that I am so thankful.  Of course I know we have had some ups and downs, but they have been minimal and for that I am thankful.  So for now I am going to be quiet, take some time and be with her when I can, and hope that her transition is as peaceful as I hope.  She  has had a wonderful life, not without loss and struggle, we all have that, but isn't she lucky to have lived so long and loved so much?  We should all be so lucky.  She has been suffering for years, deteriorating slowly, this is the final step and she can finally be free.  I feel sad and happy for her all at the same time if that makes any sense at all.  She never wanted this, to live in a nursing home fully dependent on others for her care, she has always been fiercely independent and frankly very stubborn.  

I may pop in to visit, I may read a blog or two, but please excuse me if I don't comment, I just need to take some time and be with this transition in my life.  You are all so lovely, I won't be gone for long, just a day or two to regain my momentum

Hope you all have a great week and I will see you soon.

 

74 comments:

Toni said...

Oh, I'm so sorry. Even when sort of expected, it isn't ever easy to lose someone whom we truly, truly love. Thinking of you and sending all our best wishes.....

kristieinbc said...

I am so very sorry. It must be so hard to be by her side and watch her cling to life. You have written such lovely things about your mom . They are a testament to your love for her, and her love for all of you.

mamasmercantile said...

Reflect on all the positives and take some time to store some beautiful memories, they can't be taken away. God bless.

Sweet Posy Dreams said...

Best wishes to you.

Dee said...

I am so sorry, Meredith. But your perspective on your mom is great. It is so hard to watch a loved one struggle. Know that Steve and I are saying prayers for you and your family through this difficult time.

My Little Home and Garden said...

You handle things with such love and grace, Meredith.

Thinking of you and your mother,
Karen

Pammy Sue said...

Big hug and sweet thoughts for you and your momma. I'm so sorry, but I understand what you mean about being happy for her at the same time. It's still very hard. Love to you and your family.

Betsy said...

Ahh Meredith. Life can be so hard and yet wonderful at the same time can't it? You have written beautifully the words I was feeling when I sat next to my own Mom so many years ago. The love you have for her shows us how well she loved you. My prayers are with you and your family as you go through yet another difficult journey in this thing we call "life". I will be thinking of you often my friend.
Blessings,
Betsy

Vera said...

Ah Meredith, so sorry to hear this. I know what you are going through and it is not easy, it is not fun...but your attitude is wonderful. Sending prayers and wishes for peace your way.

Sharron said...

I just wanted you to know I'll be keeping you in my thoughts throughout the coming days and weeks. Love and strength to you and the family Meredith xxx

CJ STITCHING AND BLOOMS said...

Dear Meredith while I read your post today I cried because as I read your words your Mom sounded very similar to mine. It is beyond sad to see this stage of life happen to our loved ones. Know I am thinking of you and wishing you strength to get through this difficult time. Big hug Judy

Sarah Sweethearts said...

I'm so very sorry for your heartache. You are both in our prayers. Prayers for your comfort and peace in this time.

~Sarah

linda said...

Take as long as you like Meredith you need to be there with her while she takes this final step, thinking of you and sending prayers and lots of love. xxx

Jennifer said...

Thinking of you and your family. Take care, Meredith.

Unknown said...

Your mom sounds like a wonderful woman. It's hard watching a parent go so slowly, and watching them lose the ability to do things they used to love. My dad took an Anthropology course at 70 and got an A in it. At the end of his life, he couldn't even read the books he loved. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Laura from beautiful West Michigan

Stins said...

Take your time Meredith....
I am so sorry for you, it must be so hard to let your Mum go, even if you don't have a choice...
Lots of love and hugs, Mirjam.

serendipity said...

Thinking of you and your family. Debbie.

Linda Gilbert said...

Dear Meredith. My post today is all about my Mum. How strange life can be. I lost my Mum nine years ago now but remember how hard it was to say a final goodbye. Take your time dear Meredith ... You have had so much to come to terms with in such a short time. Loving,gentle thoughts are being sent to you just now x x x

gilly said...

You're in my thoughts & prayers at this hard time - sending you love & hugs across the pond. Just take each day at a time, moment by moment. xx

Deb said...

a beautiful testament to your lovely mum ~ sending hugs and love your way xo

Mrs. C said...

Peace Meredith.... reading the first part of your post reminded me of the weeks I sat with my Mom at the nursing home with my Dad just being with him... take all the time you need... lean on your family and let them give you lots of hugs.... :)

Jo said...

Peace be with you and your mother. Jo x

Ann said...

Take all the time you need; this is a very special time for you and for your mother and you will never regret this time you spend with her. The passing of a loved one is a very special and cherished time -- I know; I lost my beloved son this past year. May God bless you, your mother, and your family.

Teresa said...

I a so sorry. It sounds like she has had a good life. Difficult the last part of it. Losing independence has to be so hard. But just think about how she has affected your life. I know you and Claudia, at least through blogging and I can see how wonderful your relationship was (is) with her. She must have done something right as she has 2 wonderful daughters.

NYC said...

There is just never a good age to lose your mother. Big hug from NYC to you.

Teresa Kasner said...

My dear friend.. I know this is a hard time and you are doing the right thing.. just being near her and seeing that she is being well taken care of. We experienced this 4 times with our parent in a few short years from each other. Just remember the good times and you'll make it through this. You have a lot of friends out here and we'll all be holding you and your family in our hearts. Lots of love sent to you and your sister. ((hugs)), Teresa

Bridget said...

Take care and God bless all of you.

Acorn to Oak said...

You, your mom, and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs!

kathy b said...

YOu know Meredith your mom is so proud of you. We love you. We want you to feel our collective blog hugs and prayers. Love you!

Stitchy Mc Floss said...

Oh sweet, sweet friend...you take all the time you need...we will all be here when you are ready to return.

In the mean time, I will be praying for you and your family.

((hugs)) to you sweet friend.

Joy@aVintageGreen said...

Prayers for all of your family and hugs.
Joy

Handmade and off-centered said...

Dear dear Meredith, big hugs to you and the family. This must be such a difficult time and I admire how strong you are. You speak so lovely of your mother and of her life. Take all the time that you need. We will be here when you get back.

Big hugs,
Birgitta xxxxxx

Tree Hugger - Suzan said...

Dear Meredith,
This is such a difficult time with so many emotions. Death is inevitable and it comes down to your faith and belief! Every day that we wake up and swing our legs over onto the floor, we ourselves are one day closer to our own passing.
It sounds like your Mother has had a wonderful, loving life. This is where your faith and belief come in to play. As a faithful believer, this is the day that we prepare for. To follow the teachings of the church. So Death isn't the end, but a wonderful beginning of a new life - the life of Here After!! What ever faith you may be - isn't this what we're preparing ourselves for? So as difficult as it may be to lose your love one - just know that they will always be in your heart and in time - you will be together again. I pray that she is comfortable and how wonderfully blessed she is to have you there for her! God Bless you Meredith, you sister and your family on this journey!!
Warm hugs, Suzan

My Garden Diaries said...

Oh dear friend......I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers. Sounds like your mom is an outstanding woman. Life is a ride and if we can leave it with love like your mom that is what counts. May You have peace and strength and love in the coming weeks.... Take care of yourself friend....Nicole xo

Linda Powell said...

Take all the time you need and my thoughts are with you and your family xx

Judy S. said...

Take care, Mere. You're in lots of people's thoughts, including mine. Big hugs, too.

elns said...

Sending you and your family my best Meredith. Your love and strength are so amazing. Take your time, we're all supporting you from afar.

20 North Ora said...

Dear Meredith - Am so sorry to hear this. I knew your Mom was bad but didn't know it was this bad. Prayers going up for you and Claudia. This is such a rough time - not wanting them to suffer but not wanting them to go either. Prayers and blessings to you and your family.

Judy

Petunia Pill said...

Oh Meredith, your grace permeates every word of this post. I'm sending you love and peace and asking the good Lord to surround your sweet Momma with His love as he watches over all of you left behind to cope with a new existence. It sounds like Momma's life on this earth was beautiful and I know her eternal life will be filled with the peace and joy and glory her loving ways on earth have earned for her. Be silent, feel it all, grieve your loss and celebrate the wonderful woman who gave you life and love. I will hold you close to my heart as you walk this path. Much love to you, special lady. Peace go with you all. Annette

kathyinozarks said...

Hugs coming your way

Lynne said...

I'll be thinking of you Meredith. Take your time, we will be here when you get back.
Lynne xx

Faith said...

Bless you Meredith and your Mum and family, my thoughts and prayers are on you....I just got a picture of all your blogging friends holding hands to reach you, you know all our hands holding each others spans a long distance, over mountains and seas, across nations.....

Taciana Simmons said...

I'm so sorry my dear friend Meredith. Take as much time as you end to feel your life balance again. We will be here whenever you come back. My prayers are with you and your family and the hope you feel comforted and know you are special to me. With lots of love!

yarn and pencil said...

Dear Meredith, I shall hold your mum, you and your family, in my thoughts and prayers,
Love Tracey xx

Nana Go-Go said...

In my thoughts for the days ahead, you know it.xxx

cockney blonde said...

Thinking of you. Take as much time as you need, your blog friends will be here when you are ready to return. For now, be with your Mum and enjoy the precious time you have left, x

moonstruckcreations said...

Dear Meredith, you are so much in my thoughts, much love to you and your family at this very difficult time for you all.

Helenxx

Deb said...

Meredith,
I have just read Claudia's blog and I am so sorry about your mom. I am wrapping you in a hug and praying for peace for you and your family.
Much love,
Deb Price

Home Meadows said...

Thinking of you at this time. Praying God's perfect peace over your family. Take care, Heather

Babajeza said...

Dear Meredith, I'm so sorry to read about your mother's death. I hope that you can find peace in the thought that she is now at a better place. Hugs to you! Regula

Ryan McGhee said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Mindy said...

Oh goodness! I hope this time with her is a great blessing to you and all those around you.
Hugs!!

Heldasland said...

Thinking of you and your family. I will light a candle for you all.
Helda

CJ said...

Meredith, I'm so sorry that she is slipping away. I do hope that the end is peaceful and that you can spend as much time as possible with her. She sounds like a wonderful lady who has had a lovely life. You are both in my thoughts. CJ xx

mynestofyarnandbuttons said...

Meredith, I do feel for you, it is so difficult. I too am still missing my mom everyday, so I really do understand all the emotions you are going through. Take care of yourself and cherish your time with your dear mom. My thoughts and prayers will be with you.
xoRobin

Cari said...

Just a quick note to let you know….you are loved.

Cari

Crafty in the Med said...

Meredith ...words fail me....so very sorry dear....I'll echo everything these kind bloggers have mentioned here and more....from across the miles although just a thought away.... how I sincerely feel for you and your family at these moments.

fondest regards

Amanda x

Joy said...

Ah you beautiful girl Meredith, my heart goes out to you! Like so many, I also understand what you are going through right now and I wish you and your much loved Mum peace and tranquility at this very special time! Sending you love, Joy xo

Karen51 said...

I am so sorry for your loss. It is my hope that your memories bring you comfort and touch your world with peace.

Karen51 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nancy said...

Dearest Meredith..I am visiting once again from Claudia's blog..I know that your Mom has now past on..you will be in my thoughts and prayers with your sweet sister..As I told her..I can tell that you had a wonderful Mom..just look at who her daughters are..Many hugs, Nancy

Fay said...

Thinking of you Mere. Fay.x

Jill at emeraldcottage said...

Hi Meredith, so very sorry to hear about your Mum. My thoughts and prayers are with you , Jillxxx

Lisa N. said...

I am so sorry to hear of your mother. This must be a difficult time and we will all be waiting when you are ready to come back, take this time with your mother. I wish you all the best and strength.
Take care,
Lisa

Lisa N. said...

I am so sorry to hear of your mother. This must be a difficult time and we will all be waiting when you are ready to come back, take this time with your mother. I wish you all the best and strength.
Take care,
Lisa

Annie @ knitsofacto said...

Will be thinking of you xxx

Joyful said...

Very sorry to hear of your upcoming loss...one we must all face. I know it is a bittersweet time for you right now. Take your time to be with your beloved mom. Hugs. xx

Ana BC said...

I pray you will have a loving time with your mom, which will strengthen you for the future...

Karen said...

Thinking of you, Meredith. Prayers for you, your mom, Claudia. . .

Gracie Saylor said...

So many feelings...thanks for letting us know some of what is happening in your life, Meredith. I am asking God to bless you and yours as you celebrate your mom's life yet mourn her declining health. You will be much in my thoughts, too, and I am sending you more hugs, also. xx

Amy at love made my home said...

Thinking of you and your Mom and your whole family. Take your time. Love to you and hugs. xx

brsmaryland said...

Meredith, thinking of you and yours.
Love and peace,
Beth

Tammy@T's Daily Treasures said...

God bless you Meredith. Hugs and blessings of peace and comfort, Tammy

Clicky Needles said...

Oh Meredith

Thinking of you and sending hugs.