Saturday, March 21, 2015

Blog reality check.................


My friend Holly and I were chatting yesterday, and laughing a lot.  You see she is one of my only friends who actually reads my blog, I know I am weird that way, I don't tell anyone I have a blog.  She saw the pictures of the men in my life having a grand time together and was a bit wistful, her son had been home, too.  So we got to talking and had a reality check about our visits.  I try to be honest on my blog, but I also try to notice the good.  You see not everything is picture perfect.  Lots of life is blurry like the photo above.


Here you see crocheting and think, how lovely!  But the reality is this has been on my table for two days and I have not touched it.  There has not been time.


Those flowers are not thriving, they are slowly checking out, but we don't include this in our blogs do we?  We don't include the cleaning, and changing beds, the five loads of laundry, the walks with Little Buddy and his walker where he refuses to move and we are 1/4 of a mile away and I have to pick him and the walker up and trudge home, the working so hard on your day off that you can't seem to have the energy to pick up your crochet hook, or the daily grind that leaves us exhausted.


I asked Mr. 21 to help me clean the screens, and he did, but did not do near enough  He took long breaks, watched a show, had his lunch and got some sun.  So I spent four hours yesterday cleaning them myself and I have yet to finish.  If I just posted this picture you would think he was the hardest worker ever, believe me that is far from the truth, but he did help and for that I am thankful.


 This picture is so wonderful.  But it doesn't tell you that I had to convince my husband to go golfing, and that it took me four days to do it, which was not fun.  And that I had to almost kick these guys in the butt to get them together for a picture.  They now have great memories golfing and a wonderful photo to remember it all, and I am still exhausted from making them do it.


A week ago I had two ginormous tomato plants with flowers and the promise of wonderful tomatoes. Now I have stem rot and I am going to have to throw all of this but the containers in the garbage bin.  Life is not always picture perfect.


Holly and I discussed out sons.  Boy we love them so much and can't wait to see them.  But they are both a bit full of themselves right now, so full of opinions and judgments and their sense of independence, which mind you they really don't have as they are still at University and are funded by their parents.  I know this is a stage, and one I have to be honest is not always fun.  But I do look at this young man of mine playing with his little adopted brother and I have hope, hope that he will indeed become the responsible and respectable man I have raised him to be once he gets all of these shenanigans out of his system.  I seem to remember thinking I was quite something at this age too!


And even though my tomatoes look like they will be a bust, I do have strawberries, there might only be a few, but they are growing.  

Reality and what we want to show the world are not always the same thing.  I want to be honest, and not show all the roses and perfect times in my life.  Oh and can I add my husband snores and has woken me up three times each the last four nights.  I almost kicked him really hard last night as I had had it!  He is out of town tonight and I am looking forward to a blissful nights sleep, well that is after I finish those screens and cleaning the pavers on my back deck.

I think it is good to have a blog reality check every once in a while.

56 comments:

mamasmercantile said...

You are not alone Meredith, but I don't think you would want to read my reality check at the moment. Looking after ageing parents is no picnic...

Tanna at The Brick Street Bungalow said...

Yes, you are so right, Meredith... so much goes unsaid. I think blogging is such a wonderful tool for allowing US the place to focus on the good in our lives. Life is difficult. It is messy. It is hurtful so many times. But, every. single. day. there are blessings... sometimes what seems like miniscule ones... but, blessings and being here... my own or my blog friends... REMINDS me of that. Like you, I occasionally have to break down and have a "reality check", as in my recent WHINES about the constant rain. Ha! And, I always, always, always appreciate when one of us DOES have a particularly honest moment... because that REMINDS me, too, that I am not alone in the difficult parts of life.
Thank you, sweet friend. blessings and hugs ~ tanna
ps without a doubt Mr. 21 will be all those wonderful things you dream for him and more. ;)

My Garden Diaries said...

I was literally just thinking of this very topic after reading an article about social media and the image of perfect. After thinking about it for a bit I felt that we were lucky to be in a circle of bloggers who have reality in their blogs. Thank you for being open and sharing friend! I feel lucky to have met you and those boys up there are lucky to have a mama like you! Nicole xo

Lilbitbrit said...

Hi Meredith I so agree, a friend of mine says work gets in the way of her life, because she has to work full time and I do too. So I understand the come home too tired to do what one would like. Young men at that age are full of themselves, but you do hope the values and principles stick with them. You have a little one too and that is both rewarding but hard work. Yes we don't record everything.

Arizona2012 said...

Now that is why I like to read your blog and Claudia's. Thanks for the reality. I have narrowed down the scope of what I read because I just cant stand another tablescape, mantel view or life is just a bowl of cherries blog. Thanks for this gliimpse of "real" posted with love. And yes I can tell you first hand they do get past that college age and turn out to be awesome adults. Cindy

Jennifer said...

Thank you for being honest. I think that most people are honest on their blogs but more should be doing it. It helps us better relate to each other, especially as wives and mothers, I think.

linda said...

Sorry I'm late catching up this week because there just isn't enough time in the day, I loved seeing your men in your last post Meredith they looks so happy together. I know exactly where you are coming from on all counts especially the son at Uni bit. I hope and pray that our sons manage to get great well paying jobs so that they can look after their worn out parents one day! Enjoy your strawberries and have a great weekend. :) xxx

Dee said...

Meredith, this blog post is why I love you SO much. It may be your BEST blog post EVER and touches on so many things I feel.

Big hugs to you from way across the state on that OTHER coast. :-)

Stins said...

Yep, you are right of course! I primarily use my blog for the fun things, how small they might be sometimes.
And it seems I am snoring too hahaha, but I am not putting that on my blog :-)!
Lots of love from Mirjam.

Linda @ A La Carte said...

We all need reality checks now and then. Life is not perfect and I don't believe any 'blogs' that say it is. Mine is a mess but it's mine and I love it. Right now my home is a horror show with boxes everywhere and stuff piled up. I've been to tired to finish a cleaning job I started. Oh well, it will get done!
hugs,
Linda

kathyinozarks said...

good post Meredith, I try to be pretty honest in my blog posts. Although I do strive for the more positives as we all endure so much negatives, stress, and all that-but no one has a perfect life-at least I have not met that someone yet.
I use my blog to express myself at times too and for the support of my reader friends-it has really helped me-cause we are really alone here where we live-just a couple friends here in the woods but no one we can really depend on, and no family but no one wants to read about all that really.
but I do agree with we can all use a reality check hugs

Tammy@T's Daily Treasures said...

Ha! You are so right. Nothing is perfect, but like Tanna said, we focus on the good so that we don't get so dang depressed about the crappy parts. I've actually been taking photos of all the garbage on my walks so that I can give folks a perspective on what I do focus on. My girlfriend says I make Kuwait look good. Folks comment that I live in such a beautiful, tropical place. So very far from the truth. But we can find beauty in even small spaces without letting the bigger picture get us down (at least most of the time). I've had a wonderful 3-day weekend and it just reinforces in my mind that I want to stay home. Back to school tomorrow and I will be fully depleted by the end of the day. but the good news is that we only have this week and then Spring Break begins. Woohoo! One thing we can learn from our kids is that we don't always have to work, work, work ... sometimes just taking our time and being in the moment is the best thing to do. My college boy is on Spring Break right now and has arrived in Toronto last night to visit family and friends. I'm happy that we are able to give him what he needs to enjoy this time of his life. He doesn't have family around him so I'm glad he is able to travel during extended school holidays. Taking some time for yourself now and get a good night's sleep. Hugs and blessings, Tammy

Linda Gilbert said...

Please know I have walked every step of these days. A very good friend said to me the other day ... " oh your children must adore you,you are such an amazing woman!"
Mmmmmm... I thought about this for a moment and actually never feel very amazing. I am so slow in the mornings it's like watching a snail come to life. As for my children. I honestly do not think they see me as amazing at all. They just see me as Mum. That's fine but certainly not amazing.
Love your blog though... It's amazing ,,,!!! Xxxx

Clare said...

So true, thanks for sharing,
Clare x

Claudia said...

You know I understand. Same here. Right now I'm looking at lots of snow on the ground and a messy house.

xo
Claudia

Kris said...

I laughed all the way through this post!
We are all in the same boat, my dear friend!
I am chugging right along on my shawl now. Loving it!!!! Thanks for sharing the pattern!!
XO Kris

Teresa said...

I love this post! Real life! I had to laugh when I read about Mr 21 yr old. It looks like he is working so hard! And having to bug your husband to go golfing. Bet he loved it when he got his butt out there. I would rather read this kind of post instead of one that is always filled with sunshine and roses. Nothing ever goes wrong for them! Keeping it real!

Ann said...

So ... I'm not the only one whose life is not picture perfect. Yeah! You made my day!

Babajeza said...

My reality? Hmmmm. I try not to think about it. Hugs, Regula

Home Meadows said...

Hi Meredith, life is messy, therefore, I blog. :-) Like you said, blogging helps me draw out the positives in the day. This actually helps me have a sense of gratitude that I might not otherwise have. I don't think anyone out there has perfectly positive lives. We all have individual struggles. We have had major issues with our new home, but talking (or blogging) about it, just brings my mood down. So I try to focus on the bright side and it does lift my spirits. So, I would say, you aren't alone! Have a terrific day and go to your local garden store and get a couple more tomato plants. :-) Hugs, Heather

Teresa Kasner said...

Tell it like it is, darlin'! I read this and was hoping that I'm not the kind of blogger that just shows the rosy side and not the real.. but then I think about the moss on our roofs, the weed patch we call a yard - and I am pretty sure I don't sugar coat things. :-) I'm glad you made the guys go have fun together. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

kathy b said...

Mere,

I Love you lady!!! You are real and honest and this was a great post. Those college age adults are quite full of opinions and judgements! Mine were no different.

Here are some of my imperfections this week:
I dropped a jar of red peppers on the kitchen floor and splat and slivers when everywhere

I frogged the first sock in the cute new color way as the ruffle was crooked

I threw out a bunch of the adult kids stuff from the basement...Ive just been asked where a photo my son took in high school was......
Yup There goes mother of the year. I pitched it

Gracie Saylor said...

Your post and the above comments were good to read, especially as I am in the middle of putting together another post that reflects a bit on my perfectly imperfect life, Meredith :-) [Has your husband been tested for sleep apnea ?] I am so glad you were successful in helping your menfolk build some positive memories! Your trudging with Little Buddy reminded me of when I took my two and less than one year old daughters to the mall just before their nap time. I trudged out of the mall with a wailing girl under each arm enduring what I imagined was a gauntlet of judgmental adults calling me a horrible mother. Mercy! Life is a swirl of beautiful and nasty stuff. And while I sometimes allude to the nasty stuff in my blog, I primarily use blogging for finding and sharing the beauty around me because I find it such a joy and energizer to do so. It helps me celebrate life and live in hope! Typing of hope reminds me....please accept my condolences for your rotting tomatoes :( ...I hope you will have success in growing tomatoes in the future. Meanwhile, thanks for sharing your blog reality check. I appreciated it :-)
PS confession: my violet plant died from my neglect this past winter ..... Mercy!

mynestofyarnandbuttons said...

Spot on Meredith!!! Love you and all your wise words and reality checks! You're the best. I need to show some "real" pictures or stories at some point. Never a pretty sight : }
Sleep well, xoRobin

RedSetter said...

Sometimes real life gets a bit too REAL and for every 'kodak' moment there are all the other seconds, minutes and hours of each day that wouldn't rate. Perfection doesn't exist, and trust me I've spent far too long enough looking for it. Instead I think its like our crochet....mainly ok, sometimes wonky, sometimes needs stopped and restarted, infuriating when it just wont do what you want and sometimes just occasionally heart-warmingly and satisfyingly perfect.

Sending lots of love and wishing you a blissfully quiet and restorative sleep.

CJ said...

Oh Meredith, you're right, life is hard sometimes isn't it. And just plain exhausting. I have plenty of that stuff that I don't put on the blog too. Not because I'm trying to portray a perfect life, but just because, you know, because. I'm off to tackle a horrible piece of knitting now. It's all wrong, time to rethink. Wishing you a lovely Sunday, with a nice sit down and some rest and relaxation. CJ xx

Debby said...

I think we could all right a post like this hah.
Like if you could see what was pushed aside when you took the photo.
Snoring, my husband snored so loud last night but our 10 lb. Yorkie snores even louder.
College boys, been there done that.
I can't grow anything but impatients. Actually they stay alive but never get bigger. Maybe that's the deer. Oh but I have wild strawberries everywhere,
I like that you use BOOM. Yeah.
The good far out ways the bad any way you look at it.

Betsy said...

My sweet Meredith, I chuckled and laughed out loud at this post because it hits home. I also agree with lots of the comments when they said blogging allows us a place to concentrate on the good in our lives. I think I share the good, bad and ugly somewhat, but probably not enough. Our kids still think they know more than we do at 35, 32 and 26. Maybe they do, but I don't think so. :-) Love you Mere and hope you get a wonderful nights sleep tonight.
Blessings,
Betsy

Willow said...

Yeah, I hear you. We aren't always honest about the hard parts of life (snoring hubby!), the full of themselves sons (take heart; eventually they tell people you're amazing and actually want to spend time with you)
I know many people hook up their blogs to facebook. I just can't do that.

Becky L. said...

Good thoughts and thanks for sharing. After Christmas I wrote a post of our Christmas that went awry. I spared details but let people know that family holidays are not perfect. We move on and are thankful for the good things that happen. Take care and a sweet peaceful rest tonight for you. Hugs. PS...started knitting my slippers finally!!!

handmade by amalia said...

I've decided right from the start that I wanted my blog to be a happy place and reflect a side of me that I do keep separate from my everyday life. I don't have many people in my life who read the blog but I'm OK with that, that's what blogging friends are for :-)
Very impressed with the handsome men in your life, you have a lovely family.
Amalia
xo

Géraldine B. said...

You're right. I hope that most of us show more reality than rosy side of our lives. I'm always trying to show it as I live my reality. It depends also the aim of blogging and what is it about. But thanks to share with us your thoughts about honesty ... Have a lovely sunday (when Im writing this I'l really honest!)...

Jo said...

There is generally carnage going on here too. I missed my belly dance class this week because I dealt with an hour long bedtime tantrum that made me too late to go. I also try to share myself on my blog but the blog helps me look towards the good stuff and that makes it all OK. Hugs to you Meredith. Jo x

HollyM said...

Reading blogs that have some 'real' content make me feel connected. It's not that we revell in the not so good times of others; it's more that it makes us feel that others are experiencing what we are. Instead of being depressed and thinking that our life is the worst, we can see that it's ok.
I thank you for this.
Our kids who are often and mostly good, kind, hard working people, disappoint and hurt us sometimes. It happens to me and while I'm not glad of it, it sure comforts me to know that it is normal.
Like you, I try to write about the good in my life but often my reality is a lot harder.

Pradeepa said...

Nice post!

Beth P said...

Those are indeed wonderful photos even *if it did take a lot of work on your end to accomplish it!!! Anything worth doing generally takes a LOT of work *sigh*! I read your blog but I admit I don't always leave a comment, sorry!!! I'm actually pretty sure I'm taking my blog down after I finish my sale in my etsy shop. I've been at it since 2009 and I don't have a family really to post about. No kids, no family just me, hubs and kitty. I am really going through a huge metamorphosis what with turning sixty and losing my best fur friend baby. I just have run out of things to blog about...

Hugs and talk soon,
Beth
P.S. I will always read your blog and be your friend though! :D

Vikki Hooks said...

HI...What a wonderful post..I try to be real in my post..but there is power in words and if we choose to dwell in the not so good side of life it can be life sucking..so to talk about the good things in our lives gives us power over our lives..and if we can laugh at the crap that comes our way..even better..

Emma Brine said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who hasn't told my friends I have a blog lol. Nice to have a reality check x

Mrs. Micawber said...

Yep. You said it! Thanks for the honesty. Sometimes we just need to let our hair down. The nice thing about our kind of blogging is that it's okay!

Typed from a messy living room which looks as though a yarn volcano erupted in it. There are dead ladybugs on the carpet because I didn't vacuum yesterday. Instead of cleaning I am sitting with my feet up, visiting bloggy friends. Ah, Sunday.

Have a great week, Mere, and I hope you get some good sleep. :)

distracted said...

Meredith your post is so refreshing!!
You really have a great writing style too. Please keep doing what you're doing. It works!
Sandy

Wainwright and Wright.Co said...

Oh I love your honesty Meredith, and I think we can all empathise with every word you said. Life always has some very hard bits to it but the thing is, is to remember the good times, and life has some fantastically good times, sometimes you just have to remember to look for them, which you did with your last blog post which I so enjoyed.
my very best wishes
Caz xx
PS very few of my friends know that I blog!

Valentina Olden Patterns said...

I understand what you say; we don't want to show our bad days or weaknesses or whatever out there, come to think of it we always tend to hide the bad feelings inside ourselves, don't we? So I think it's natural that you don't like to post about difficult times on here. I want to tell you though that since I started reading your blog I've never gotten the idea that you were trying to convince us that you are living a "perfect" life: what I've always loved about your blog is in fact how real your posts feel! : )

Handmade and off-centered said...

I loved this post! You are so right and I have thought about this throughout my blogging time. For a time I decided that my blog would be my "happy place" and it has been. Its also refreshing to see that other people are just people and their lives are not always rainbows and butterflies. I try and keep my blog real and honest. But I am guilty of tidying up before taking a picture, I crop if something is not perfect. Dont we all.

Thanks for posting this and your blog is always a pleasure to visit. Ups and downs. Rainbows and hardship :)

Birgitta xx

Judy S. said...

Hope you're having a great Sunday, Meredith! Loved your post! If life didn't have some less than perfect days, we'd never appreciate the good ones, right? I try to block out the bad stuff by focusing on the good!

Annie Cholewa said...

It's so true that we often gloss over the less perfect bits of our lives. I do tend to mention the grotty stuff on my blog but I find that I don't want to dwell on it. Finding the right balance is tough isn't it.

Carla from The River said...

I appreciated this post! I have always appreciated your honesty and the encouragement you have shared with me, a mom of two boys as well.
Carla

Christina said...

I am glad that we are all the same! I do regularly share my woes because I don't want people to think I live in utter bliss. Opinionated children are top of my agenda, as is the insurmountable pile of laundry and countless WIPs that will remain WIPs.... oh, and I wake myself up with my own snores! I do, honestly. Thank you for sharing the not so perfect moments, too. xx

Melissa said...

As Forest said, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you just never know..." I too don't tell people about my blog. Even the Admiral has never read my blog, my children have no idea I have a blog. I don't know why....I'll have to think about that.

Joanne Wilson said...

The joy of having an older son & a younger son & also the joy of glossing over the less than perfect aspects of our lives. A lovely honest post x

Cheryl mylittlepieceofengland said...

I know exactly what you mean, especially when it comes to sons. Mine is 26 and I adore him, but boy have we been through some tough and some some awful times. As he has matured though, the man I hoped was there is emerging, though I will say here where he can't hear me... wow he can be so lazy and goodness knows where his money goes every month... oh no, don't get me started xx

Sweet Posy Dreams said...

I got a little chuckle out of reading about your son being a little full of himself lately. Boy, do I know that story! Our 23-year-old is home temporarily before his first real job begins. My goodness, he knows a lot. lol

Gillian said...

Brilliant post and so true. Sometimes I'm so tired I hardly have the energy to go to bed.

Melanie said...

Hi Meredith - I haven't stopped by your blog in a long time. Claudia recently posted a pic of your little guy, so I thought I'd stop by and say hi. I can't believe how much the little guy has grown! Sorry to hear he's sick. That's so hard - and very tiring on mom. I really liked this honest post, especially about your college-aged son. My son is 24 and is away at school too. He was home recently on spring break for a few days and even though I love having him home, I also breathe a sigh of relief when he leaves! And then I feel guilty. But how you described your son is exactly how mine acts, too. I just "worry" about when he graduates next year, that he'll probably have to come back home to live with us while he looks for a job. That will be really hard on all of us - we're used to being empty nesters now and to have your adult child move back in...well, there will definitely have to be rules and guidelines. Oh well, we'll take one step at a time.

Vicki Boster said...

Meredith--
You are so right to bring everyone to this reality check. Of course no one is ever totally revealing on their blogs-- but on the other hand I would not want my friends to think I just ride around on cruise ships all the time. We all live normal lives and it's good to bring that out from time to time. Case in point-- my yarn room looks like a junk yard!!

Love
Vicki

MJ said...

Thank you so much for this post! It is such an encouragement that I need to be reminded of!

Jill at emeraldcottage said...

Oh my gosh it's so true. I have a bad habit, in real life, of being quite negative and pessimistic. I do all of the positive self talk but it doesn't always work. I often start a very very reality post on my blog but I delete it. I know if I start down that way on my blog then it'll be a slippery slope! That being said I do enjoy some lovely picture-perfect-life blogs, sometimes wish my life was like that, but I know in order for my life to really be like that it would be bloody hard work to keep it like that and I am a bit lazy, well at least, I cut corners lol.
I too have to nag er I mean motivate the men in my life. Any time my son comes with us it's usually following a meltdown to have left the house. Thanks for this post Meredith, it's made me smile a lot :) xxx