Friday, October 9, 2015

Friendship.................


Friendship, it is something I woke up thinking about this morning and can not seem to clear from my head..  You see I am a very shy person, and the older I get the quieter I am, friendship does not come easy to me, but once it strikes I am as loyal as can be.  

It seems to me when I was in high school I was the painfully tall, shy girl that everyone thought was stuck up, but in truth I was just really, really shy.  College came and I gained my confidence through shared living environments, shared experiences and well alcohol, that helped a lot!

When my kids were younger it was so easy to strike up a conversation at the ball fields or at the pool where my kids trained.  Our adult friends focused around our kids and their activities, so it was easy to establish a bond.  

I think as we get older it is much harder to find true friends, well new ones that is.  There are your faithful few that have been with you for years, what would we do without them?   But finding new friends is hard when you are working and are so busy with your family life.  It doesn't seem fair but that is the way it is, fostering new friendships is hard, even maintaining the deep ones you have is hard.  Life is busy, and we women tend to put our needs on the back burner, not necessarily taking care of our friendships like we should, not watering and fertilizing them so they can grow.  

I have had friends pass away in the last few years, I have had friends move away, and while we are still close it is hard to keep up with the everyday details that make a friendship work when there are miles that separate us.   I am not so sure why this is on my mind today, maybe because another really close friend of mine is moving, not out of state, just about 20 miles away.  I won't be able to drop off knitting magazines in her mailbox as I run to the market, or pop in and walk her dog when she needs help.  It is another sign that our friendship, while strong will change.  

I think that is why I cherish this blog of mine so much, and I try my hardest to nurture it and visit with all of you and love when you visit me.  In my chaotic and busy life you are all a constant, you are there no matter when I have the opportunity to check in, and you care, just like I care for you.  Funny how that is with people you have never met, you start to care about their lives, their families and of course what matters to them.   So I just wanted to thank you all for being there.  For your support and your friendship, I would not be near as happy without all of you here by my side.

I am leaving you with a photo of Little Buddy's friends, he sleeps with them, be assured you do not have to sleep with me!



37 comments:

kathy b said...

I am delighted to be your friend Meredith and lil buddy's. Friends are a fluid part of a woman's life I think. There is a time for all these friendships. HOpe you and your pal who is moving stay close at heart

CJ said...

I'm very much the same Meredith. Isn't it funny though, you can't tell if someone is quiet and shy from their blog. And I know exactly what you mean about caring about people you've never met. There are some lovely people in blogland. And you are one of them, a friend indeed. Two of my closest friends live in France and Jamaica respectively. I do miss them. Love Little Buddies sweet animals. My littlest boy is still very fond of all of his, especially his bear. He brings him down to breakfast with him every day. Wishing you and yours an excellent weekend. CJ xx

Janet said...

What a lovely thoughtful post, Meredith. It's true we do build bonds with our blog friends, even though we will never meet. We care about them and share their stories. It's wonderful to be able to share in your stories and receive your virtual hugs.

Nana Go-Go said...

Hey Meredith, I totally get where you're coming from with this post. As you know, I lost a cherished friend a few years ago and my other 'bestie' moved to the other side of the world last February. She rang me the other day and we were both so excited to talk to one another that we were both talking at the same time down the phone and ended the conversation with the inevitable tears and 'miss you so much' sign-offs! It's a lovely word 'friendship' but sometimes it can be so hard to hang on to. I'm really trying. Thanks for such a thoughtful post. xxx

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Meredith, friends are so important but as I get older I find that it is harder to make new friends. I am so happy to have my family here and that has helped me so much. I too find my blog friends fill a very big gap in my life. It is amazing how we can just 'connect' sometimes!
hugs,
Linda

Sue Silva said...

Meredith, I would never have guessed that you were shy in highschool. I feel the same way about my blogging buddies; I so wish we could all meet!

Thanks for your always thoughtful comments and making me feel special in your life. You're special in mine.
S
xo

Cheryl mylittlepieceofengland said...

I know just what you mean, I look to see my comments, notice when a blogger I follow stops writing and I truly miss them. I've lost commenters after being absent for a while and it makes me sad that they don't come back, I miss them saying hello... now I just sound sad xx

ellen said...

Friends are indeed important. Since I have retired, most of the new friends that I have made are through blogging..and that is why I value this social media. You, tho. I have never met, I count as one who lies deep in my heart, who matters and is loved.

20 North Ora said...

Mere - What a sweet post. I am so amazed at the friendships I have made in three short years. They feel like real friends and I value their friendship (yours included) so much. While we may never meet, we are friends thru our blogs. Friendship is so precious and should never be taken for granted.

Have a great weekend friend!

Judy

wenhkc said...

Love your post. I have a few close friends but they don't live in my neighborhood. It does take effort and time to plan to get together. Thank goodness for email so we can keep up with our daily lives. I'm glad I found your blog via your sister's blog, Mockingbird Hill Cottage. So adorable that little Buddy seems to favor sheep! I'm a knitter, so I like sheep too.

Mimi said...

When you walk through fire as my grandma would say. The real friends are the ones who carried the buckets of water, and stayed long after the fire was out. Friends drift apart and some we just let go, but the bucket people won't drift away or let you go no matter how far way they are. I raise my mug of hot tea to all my bucket people. How I dearly love this blog.

Teresa Kasner said...

Hi Meredith.. Gracie and I were talking the other day about why we blog and I told her my main reason is for the friendships I've made. Gracie is a prime example of how I've made a real-time friend from my blog! And I feel like you and I are real true friends, too. When some of us local bloggers meet for lunch we invariably bring your name up and wish you were able to join us. Life is always better with someone to share it with and that's why it's so nice when someone takes their valuable time to comment.. it's like having a conversation. Give LB a hug for me. And one for you too.. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

Lynne said...

This is such a nice post. I know most of my friends were parents whose children played sports with my son. Now he's grown and we don't have that social outlet anymore. Both my quilting buddies have moved away. Blogging is the best way to connect with other women who share a love of yarn and fabric. Even though we live on opposite sides of the country, when I read your blog it's like you're right next door :)
Your friend
Lynne

Betsy said...

I'm one of the "local bloggers" that Teresa mentioned...that is when I drive the 360 miles one way to eat lunch with them. :-). I love it when I can do that. I cherish the friendships I've made through blogging. You all mean so much to me. Thank you for this thoughtful post Meredith.
From one shy girl to another.
Blessings,
Betsy

mamasmercantile said...

What a beautiful post, I started blogging as a way to socialize as so much of my time is spent caring for others my elderly parents and husband who has little mobility. Sending you and Little Buddy a hug.

Gracie Saylor said...

Hi Meredith! Yes to all you typed. It is funny. Today in a small group of women we were considering a project that could entail taking a stranger a gift, and I said, "I'm shy," which is true...and maybe part of the reason I earned a degree in speech-communications...to combat my shyness :) You have especially been in my thoughts the last few days. I took a special photo of my granddaughters with you in mind yesterday and will post it soon. It is difficult to adjust to the changes in friendships, and In my fifteen times of moving as an adult I have often been the one who is moving away as your friend is. I am glad that our blogs have bumped us into one another and given us the opportunity to be friends. Thanks to you and LB for brilliantly shepherding Fluffy Baa Baa...and the crew :) xx

Stins said...

You are such a gentle soul...
And you are so right about blogging too!
It is so good to know that there are friends out there, even if we don't know them in person.
Big hugs from Mirjam.

linda said...

What you say is so true Meredith the older you get the harder it is to make friends, each person seems to have their own little group of friends and it's very hard to fit in and be a part of a very established group. It's even harder when you have lived abroad for 19 years and come home all your friends have moved on and got on with their lives and somehow you don't seem to fit in anymore. I too value my blogging friends and the friends I have made through Loving Hands my charity group I don't really know what I would do without them to be honest. Have a great weekend. xxx

mynestofyarnandbuttons said...

Hi my friend Meredith! I agree with all you said, I am also shy until I get to know people, but I think I am not as shy as I use to be. (think aging has change that and living up in the boonies! I will talk to anyone!!! hahaha
I don't have many friends but at the same time I guess I don't think one needs a lot of friends just a few true ones and the longer the friendship the better. I haven't experienced any friends passing yet, just parents, that must be really difficult. BUT I do think it is so hard to make new friends as we get older and move because most people already have their established friends. SOOOOOoooooo blogging is a great experience and I'm so happy we have met and share our lives via blogging. I love you and your family and care about you! Thank you for your honest blogging and bringing up topics not talked about. xoxoRobin

Andrea Ostapovitch said...

I too have very few friends, and my move 4 years ago has dramatically changed the close relationships I had. I have had a very difficult time meeting new people, but I currently have hope, as I signed up for a photography workshop next month. I don't know why it took me so long to do that, to get out there and try.
I too have fallen in love with this blog community. Even when I wasn't active over the summer months, I looked forward to getting back and catching up.
It's comforting to hear words I can relate to so much. Thank you for the thoughtful post.

Sharron said...

I understand completely what you're trying to express here. Despite never meeting you personally Meredith, I feel a great sense of warmth from you. You are a very caring; special woman. Those who have had the opportunity of knowing you in 'real life' are very fortunate xx

Claudia said...

SIster: You are not only my sister, you are my friend. And that's forever.

xo
Claudia

Linda said...

I am also kind of shy myself and I prefer one on one meetings as opposed to large crowds of people. I also love my quiet, and enjoy quiet evenings with my cat and sometimes soft music, sometimes nature sounds and always a dim light. :)

Bridget said...

I think I treasure my blog friends so much because I don't have very many friends in real life that I get to "talk" to that often. So I like knowing that when I blather on about something, someone out there is around to know it happened. :-)

Linda Gilbert said...

I have been having a break.... But your blog was one I missed dearly

Judy S. said...

What a nice post, Mere! I think you've put into words the way lots of us feel about blogging. Wouldn't it be great if we could all meet in-the-real? The bloggers I've met in person were just as nice as I expected, and what a pleasure it was to see them face to face!

gigi knits said...

You probably wouldn't believe how many of us are so much like you ..
When I moved from NY to Fl. Leaving my family & friends in NY.
Only to make a friend here who I had never meant before she is from MI.
And Now I can't imagine my life without this very dear friend in it .its like we have known
Each other for many years

Jen @ The Light Laughed said...

The older we get the more precious our connections become because it's driven home how tenuous and fragile they can be....

It's hard to make friends, I was the very same tall introverted shy girl in school too...years of retail made it easier to come out of my comfort zone. And I do so appreciate my friendships, both in person and online...

I hope that this move doesn't disrupt your lovely friendship too much Meredith.

Jen

Jennifer said...

Oh, Meredith. You've summed up my feelings on friendship perfectly. I don't make friends especially easily either; I feel very timid about striking up conversations with people and I don't feel good about reaching out to invite people to do things either. I'm so worried about rejection, or seeming too desperate, so I end up being alone too much instead. I have found it especially difficult to make friends since I became a mom; there's so much judgment and opinion flying around when it comes to parenting. I wish it were easier to find like-minded, chilled-out people. I'm so glad there are people like this in Blogland, including you. I'm really glad we're friends.

Simone said...

My best friends are the ones I have never met. They are supportive and non-judgmental and without blogging I would never have met them. Thank you for your thoughtful post Meredith. :-)

Dee said...

You are a most excellent friend ......I am so glad I got to meet you!

I love that Little Buddy has sheepy friends to keep him company at night.

Amy at love made my home said...

Friends is a very hard thing isn't it. They come and go, true friends stay, but even then they go too because of different circumstances. I have a couple of true real friends, and some acquaintances, but they are few and far between, I have some good blogger friends - you included!!!! - and I treasure them. I am sure that you are a wonderful friend to all, you are to me! Thank you for that!!! I hope that you will always have many friends in your life. xx

Valentina Olden Patterns said...

What a sweet post... As a shy person, I totally get your feelings...
I'd like to be on my blog (and my followers'!) more often to keep in touch with you all... xx

Laura from beautiful West Michigan said...

I, too, was that shy child. Unlike you, it has taken me quite awhile to be less shy. These past few years, though, I seem to have become very social, at least according to my husband! I've met new friends in lots of places, and I love that. I've learned how to be a better friend myself. I love this kind of friendship, blogger and reader. I would never have "known" you without your blog. Would never have realized we have "kindred spirit" dogs. Wouldn't have been blessed to see how you love Little Buddy. Maybe someday when I am down there or you are up here, we will meet. If not, I am enjoying what we have.

Tammy@T's Daily Treasures said...

I was the same in school. Never fit into any group and even into my 20s and 30s was considered stuck-up because I didn't speak but it was just that I didn't feel comfortable starting a conversation. Now, I don't care -- I'll talk to anyone. But for the most part, I much prefer quiet and solitude. Having a few good friends is better than being surrounded by a bunch of superficial ones. I nourish those friends who lift me up. xoxoxoxoxox

Karen said...

Me, too -- tall and shy and considered aloof! I'm so happy to have found such a lovely friendship in you through our blogs, Meredith.

Jodiebodie said...

I agree with you that the circumstances of adult life and the growing commitments that we collect can hinder our attempts to foster and maintain friendships. Since being ill, it is especially hard because I often don't have the energy to express my care and love for my friends in the ways I would like such as being able to drive to their homes for a visit or do things for them. Friends do come and go, but a good friend is always a friend regardless of how much time or circumstances try to get in the way. That connection and unspoken understanding of close friends is precious.
I am sorry that your friend is moving further afield. If it is a strong friendship, you will not lose it, it will just be different. Who knows, it might be better - quality over quantity, perhaps? Who knows, the moving away of your friend, might make room to let a new friend in. Stay positive. xx