It has been a busy week as usual. Lots of work, paperwork and things to do with this guy. But first the patient I was worried about in my last post is still not back with her original medical foster mother. I actually had to talk to the police officer that removed the baby to give my thoughts on this child's issues and how the mother was with her. At least it gave me something to do to try and help. After stating all that was asked of me I reminded this police officer, who was very nice by the way, that it is my legal and ethical obligation to report issues of neglect and abuse if I see this in any home I visit. I told her I have done just that, never an easy thing to do, but I have done it so that she needs to remember that all of the licensed professionals in that home risk losing their license if those reports are not made. And there was no way at all that I felt that child was anything but loved and well cared for. She does not have an easy job, and I thanked her for all she does because most of the time they get it right. On this occasion they absolutely had to remove this baby because it was a doctor reporting neglect, however that accusation was completely false. Now I worry that this child continues to not receive therapy, it has been three weeks and I have only seen her once. I tried to see her yesterday and even this morning but the family did not have any available times that would work.
Little Buddy continues being a real pistol in school and at home. Actually I thought he was having a great week at school until I went in for an IEP meeting to get more services situated for him, not his annual one. Boy did I get an earful, he is not being nice to his new assistant and has called her some names, he has not been nice to some of his friends and stops the whole line when they are walking places by blocking his friends with his walker. Sigh....................
So I explained him a bit more to all the professionals at the school. Some of them heard me but I fear his teachers did not understand what I was trying to say. I had to remind them all again about all of the diagnoses that help him not understand social situations and read social cues, or express sincerity, make eye contact, control impulses, etc. I explained that he does not have the opportunity to try out things he hears with siblings or even friends like neurotypical kids do. He has to try them out on adults and that just gets him in trouble. I told them to not use his walker unless he is going to his physical education class, he does not need it for anything shorter, therefore eliminating that issue. Two hours later and with a heavy heart on my end, the meeting ended. I did get speech therapy reinstated for 15 minutes a week, when it was down to a brief monthly consult. And I did get counseling for him in social situations during school time to help him understand what he is feeling, what he is saying and how it affects others. So it was a win for me and most assuredly for Little Buddy, but it was a tough day. It is never easy to hear just how involved your child is when he has come so far. I have to remind myself often he was born dead, 13 weeks early, had two horrible brain bleeds requiring two emergency surgeries, and when he was discharged after three months the neurosurgeon had no idea if he would ever be able to do anything because his brain was so damaged. Look at him now! I know, take a deep breath and move forward and be thankful he continues to grow and progress. There is just so much we still need to accomplish with this complex boy. Oh, and we did make an apology video and sent it to his new assistant, I hope that makes her understand we are on top of things and that it is not okay for little one to say mean things.
My cardigan knitting continues. I had breaks in my work day this week due to several little ones being at appointments so I had time to knit in my car. It was bliss. And a big shout out to Vice President Kamala Harris visiting Fibre Space in Alexandria, Virginia. Madame Vice President will you be my friend? I love your zest for life, your intelligence, your laugh and thanks to fellow blogger Bridget I now know you like to crochet!
These two need face haircuts, I might have to put that on my schedule for tomorrow. But still shaggy and all, they are adorable.
27 comments:
I remember IEP meetings from when I was a paraprofessional in the school system a long time ago. Never fun for anyone, especially the parents. Little Buddy is an absolute miracle child.
I got a good laugh out of the picture of you that the little girl drew. Too funny!
Have a good weekend!
A big week Meredith. You worked hard to get some things back in place and share (likely again) with all of the people at school who need to hear LB's history and how much he has overcome to be where his is now. The dogs look very pleased with another photo op. The line drawing is a treasure of a moment. Your cardigan has the most beautiful blending of happy colours. So very very glad VP Kamala Harris is on the side of good.
Hugs.
Joy
Whew....what a week you had. I'd be knitting up a storm too! I laughed out loud at that portrait. With just a few lines she really said a lot.
what a week you've had! I can't imagine that innocent face being naughty at school. We all have to learn the hard way and hopefully he will mend his ways. Your sweater is coming out beautifully! I hope you wear it and love it forever. Those two fur boys are so adorable.. give them a pet for me. Have a serene Sunday and knit! ((hugs)), Teresa :-)
Oh dear, sweet Mere, another week of life for you wasn't it? I hope all of LB's teachers and other staff will remember the things you told them. Our little guy is not able to process things like most kids do and sometimes they need to be reminded of that. I admire the fact that you don't let him off the hook though and make him take responsibility for his actions. Great job Mom!
That drawing cracks me up. Through the eyes of a child! My kids have drawn pictures of me like that in the past too. :-)
It's been a rough day here too. Dennis couldn't get his Mom to answer the phone this morning. We had to call our daughter who lives half an hour away and is blessedly, an RN. She couldn't get in the house because Mom had the storm door locked fromt he inside. Dennis told her to call 911. Long story short, they bashed in the door and found her on the floor. She had her second vaccine yesterday and a bad reaction. She's been admitted to the hospital and her legs won't work at all. She can feel them, they just won't move. She's almost 85 and that's the reason we're uprooting our life and moving home.
I'm SO tired. I"m so thankful for our daughter who knew exactly what to do for her Grandma and explained everything at the hospital since Mom was so confused.
Lots of love and blessings my dear friend.
Betsy
Haha, your posts always bring a smile to my face. Being a mum always has its ups and downs but just look at Little Buddy and how far he has come from the time that doctor didn't know if he'd ever be able to do anything. I'm sure at that time you'd have given anything that he'd be able to be a little monkey, just like other children are at points in their lives, so focus on how far he's come, you're a wonderful mum and children never listen to everything you try to teach them.
You have so much on your plate Meredith I don't envy you, I don't know how you manage to cope so well. Hopefully things will get easier with Little Buddy as he gets older and things slowly click into place. Haha that drawing is hilarious. Have a peaceful Sunday xx
A busy week indeed. I am glad you had the chance to explain Little Buddy a little more to his school and those around him there. You are such an excellent advocate for him. Hearing how unwell he was at the very start of his life really is a reminder how amazingly well he is doing now. I do hope they understand him more at school and can work with him to give him the help he needs. You've been such a good advocate for the baby you mention as well, and no doubt for all of your little charges. You are an utter star Meredith, so very caring and conscientious and kind. Sending a a big hug. CJ xxxxx
What a week! Little Buddy suddenly (to me) looks so much older in that picture at the top. He is a pistol and his own guy!! Love the portrait the little girl drew of you.
Little boys can have all of those problems without all of the physical ones Lil Buddy has added to his list. Hang in there!
my observations are totally inept of your professional world. but from a bystander even just virtual friend... I find you incredibly brave and patient and remarkable.
LOVE is the key you use in every way. and that is the greatest healer of them all.
I'm so glad to know you.
and the cardigan is Gorgeous!
and your Boys are too! the furry faced ones and the little beautiful miracle one. XOXOXO
Thanks for both of those updates. Lil Buddy has his best advocate: YOU! I wonder what could I do to take one thing off your plate? It is so full. The drawing is hysterical. I thought the artist painted your mouth with one tooth....then you clarified it was a mask! Oh dear. So funny.
IT must be terribly difficult to be a child who needs a walker and feels unhappy at school. I hated school.. I have given this much thought, so here's a synopsis. I had a disability that we didn't know about, called anxiety. I was such an anxious child. I did not come across that way ,though and it didn't help my cause. My parents just continually called me NERVOUS. I was giving this some deep thought at 0100 last night. Ive been having trouble with the falling to sleep part. My mom thought the world was a difficult, scary place and the only time I felt comfortable was when I was with her. she was the between my worlds. She was my shield. Even on her nursing home bed when we chatted, she was my mom. My comforter.
I have friends who have a daughter who was born with just one stub of an arm. She was very stubborn as a child. They refused to let her think she couldn't do something . They tell a story of her crying up in her room all day , but coming out after 6 hours, with her hair braided.
I don't claim to have any answers Meredith. I just love that guy. I wish he had a pal at school. I'll ask my mom to get on that....
I can only imagine all of what's going on in your head, and none of what must be going on in your son's. Processing social cues is difficult in a big group setting, and when he's on the move, it's even more stressful. He has lots and lots of rules to remember and keep straight in many situations. He must get overwhelmed at times.
I hope you showed him the portrait your patient drew of you. You could both laugh about it together. (It's probably what I look like in my car right after I leave the grocery store!)
It sounds like an exhausting week, mentally and physically. I didn't know all of Little Buddy's story. Indeed, just surviving is a a major feat. He is so very fortunate to have you as not only his mother but his advocate. I haven't the words to tell you how very much I admire and hold you in high regard for the grace in which you cope with your career and life at home. You do it with love, which I'm sure makes a huge difference -- but doesn't do much for sleep and stress. I wish your fosters well, too. They have a wonderful supporter in you.
The cardigan is simply gorgeous. That yarn is totally yummy! (So are the dogs!)
I'm afraid I got a bit like your young girl's portrait of you when I read your account of your IEP. I am a Special Ed teacher of many years' experience and the first question that has to be asked when a child is "misbehaving" is WHY. Every teacher should know that all behaviour has a purpose so why is he showing these behaviours? What unmet need is there? I think you were bang on when you said he needs to be taught things like social interaction. It disappoints me when my profession lets children down like this. It is a "teachable moment", not an opportunity to punish. Yes there needs to be a consequence, but how can his teachers help him learn from it? (I should add that I am Australian, maybe the philosophy is a bit different in the US...)
Little Buddy is lucky to have you in his corner because you stick up for him as well as keep him on task. Thank goodness you found each other.
Little Buddy has come so far. And he has a long road ahead, but he's got great support with you.
Your cardigan is stunning already. And that last pic - that's awesome!
That's quite the story of all Buddy is going through in life. I hope things improve soon and that he will understand what to do. Ask questions if he doesn't understand things. A bit hard for him I am sure. I like the yarn color for your cardigan. Have a good week!!
Oh how far that Little Man has come, he is indeed a miracle and you are a miracle worker with all that you do for him. What a great Mum not letting him off the hook and making an apology video. I smiled at the picture and your comments about its. Have a good week.
bless you! you are such a steadfast advocate to your son and your knowledge love shines through in those meetings. He HAS made tremendous progress and he continues to thrive so keep that in mind. Schools love all the children who assimilate well and follow the rules - the system is set up that way. Keep on keeping on. He is loved and he is well that is what matters.
Oh, I thought you were so mad that one of your teeth flew out!
You are a marvel. You get so much done and tend to such important matters. Sorry it was a tough day, but glad you've been able to move forward with scheduling things appropriate for Buddy. And in your work, things sometimes just aren't easy; but as you know...very necessary. LOVE the yarn, such pretty colors. Your sweater is coming along nicely. I did not know Our Wonderful Lady VP liked to crochet. How cool is that.
Love the portrait. Sorry to hear that you have had more challenges with Buddy. Knitting is so therapeutic. It really helps to calm down during stressful times, and to have something warm and beautiful to show for it.
You have such a strong spirit Meredith which you share so kindly with others. Another crazy week for you but you are doing good things as always. I am absolutely in love with your even tension knitting - its gonna be great. Jo x
As a teacher I have always kept to the well known strategy within the profession that where a teacher finds they are having constant problems in class with a pupil or student (I include adults in this comment hence the use of students) they need to ask the question "why"! There is always an answer to this question and once one has that they work on it. A teacher's challenge is not the easy to teach pupils but the problematic ones! That is where teaching skills come to the fore. I think you did well to remind the school of just all what Little Buddy has gone through since the day he was born...bless his heart! So Little Buddy is finding it hard..but it certainly sounds to me that he is a fighter and he'll learn and get it right in the end. You Mere are a marvel...a Marvel Mum! Poor little girl and selfish doctor who is not considering the welfare of the child which should be his first priority. Keep strong! Amanda x
A tough week for sure. I have grandkids who in many ways resemble Little Buddy and for similar reasons. I get it.
The cardi is beautiful!
The teachers of Little Buddy must be glad to have you as his mother. :-) Problems cannot be solved if parents and teachers don't cooperate.
Hopefully your input will help.
Have a nice weekend and lots of knitting time.
Regula
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