Is it Spring already?

Hi everyone?  How can it be late March already?  It is Spring Break here for Little Buddy, he has been living the life of leisure this week.  I, on the other hand have been working until today, I took the day off to be with this guy.  The later pictures in this post are from today, an unexpected cool day out but so beautiful, I dared to get Little Buddy out and about on a walk by Lake Tarpon.  He grouched so much I had to threaten him with screen time deductions if he kept it up.  Last weekend we made it to my Honeymoon Island to walk on a two mile trail to see the eagles nest.  I took this photo of the eagles a few days before when I went to check out the walk to see if it was Little Buddy accessible.  It was but it was still a bit long for him, there are sandy parts that make it a little bit more tiring for him and boy was he tired at the end.  I heard about it all the way home!

The beach restoration project for the north beach is done, it is so beautiful, I can't believe what a difference it made.  However, now there is no way to really get this guy on the beach.  The areas that are accessible are far too rocky.  I will have to figure this out because I think it is important for him to be able to go the the beach.  I live by many beaches but Honeymoon Island is a state park so there are no big buildings and for the most part it is family friendly.  It has been too chilly to go and sit at the beach but it won't be for long so I better get a solution going quick.

It has been a bit too depressing to write for many reasons if I am to be honest.  The state of our country gets measurably worse each and everyday.  It is beyond comprehension the devastation going on.  I can't watch the news but get blurbs of information from reputable news sites and its just devastating.  I fear for all of us.  I fear for our kids and grandchildren growing up in a country that will be unrecognizable in a very short time. I fear for Little Buddy with his complex medical, physical, emotional and educational needs, I can't sleep at night thinking of how I can't financially support him if his services are cut, but let's not go there.  Deep breaths, right? He has also had some emotional situations at school with one child that I finally had to step in and put my Occupational Therapist hat on and explain the issue between the two children.  I don't think the school thinks about children with conflicting sensory systems and how that impacts their interactions and ability to learn.  Keep in mind it is a school for children who learn differently. Well they do now after about ten emails because suddenly Little Buddy is no longer getting ridiculous lunch detentions for his response to a child who is not being kind but is actually bullying him.  There are always conflicts with Little Buddy's other parent and the sheer ludicrous things that happen when Little Buddy is away from me.  I am constantly debriefing him and trying to fix it all and tell him what is right and all that, frankly I am exhausted.  And  the saddest thing is it is never going to end so I have to find a way to be less exhausted by the constant bombardment heading my way.

Many of the children I work with have been so ill this year.  I have had four in the hospital at once for extended stays.  It starts with the flu and moves into pneumonia, one child was in for three weeks, came home and went in for another five weeks.  And a very sad situation has happened to one of the families I work with, the very healthy 53 year old father came down with the flu and one week later was in the ICU sedated and on a respirator, he has been like this for 7 weeks and he is declining, a healthy father and grandfather, hard working and loved by his family is not going to make it. I know you have all suffered loses that seem completely horrific and so completely senseless, they change the trajectory of your lives forever, I think you know who you are when I mention this.  I am sending you love as I send this family love, because what else can you really do at times like these?

Stay as strong as you can during these perilous times my friends.  Somehow we will get through all of it, I'm not quite sure how but we will. I am sending you all love as well..

Rebuild, restore, reconstruct............

 

Today I took Little Buddy out to my favorite Honeymoon Island State Park to see the huge restoration project going on.  The whole island got devastated by Hurricanes' Helene and Milton. It was covered in over 7 feet of water and much of the island was just washed away.  I have been enjoying walks on the portion that is open on my child free weekends, even when it is cold and gray out I love to go.  However, I have not taken Little Buddy out to see how they are trying to fix it until today.  He was not thrilled but I felt it was an amazing feat to witness.  That big barge, far out on the water drills deep into the ocean floor and pumps sand via huge pipes up onto the beach.  The sand erupts into a giant sand fountain and it just keeps pumping until they turn it off to catch up.  The huge bulldozers flatten it all out and move it down the beach, Layer after layer gets put down. As I understand it the crews are working 24/7 and the whole restoration will take 8 weeks to rebuild 4 miles of sandy beach.  I asked if the restoration affects the sea life on the ocean floor and I was assured they drill deep enough that very little sand on the bottom is disrupted so sea life is pretty safe.  Still all that noise and vibrations can't make anything living in the Gulf very happy.  Yes, the Gulf of Mexico, not America.  The island is constantly changing with the help of Mother Nature and now once again with the help of man/womankind.  It will be all up and running by Spring and it will be beautiful.  I will miss my cold walks on rocks and broken shells on the main beach, but that too is up for restoration in the near future.

I did a little restoration in my house as well.  Christmas morning was lovely but there is just not enough places to sit.  I have two antique rocking chairs and two sitting chairs in my living room and that is it.  No one uses it except me unless we are all in it for Christmas morning, still it just needed more.  I bought this incredible loveseat and ottoman and I think it works.  It is lower to the ground than I'd like but with the added pillows it  makes the backs a little taller. I am not a short woman, so the shorter back sort of freaked me out at first.  I bought another loveseat for the office/bedroom my oldest uses when he works from my house a couple days a week.  He just got a new job and I felt he needed an update from the 21 year old futon that was the current sitting option in that room.  With the new furniture I can bring in the ottoman from the living room into the office if we need a little place to sleep, which we do during storms.  And I will be getting a twin blow up mattress for Little Buddy to use as we both don't fit on a full size mattress anymore, he is way too big for that.  The furniture is all foam, less items used to construct it, less carbon footprint.  Each piece comes in a box and you open it and release it from its shrunken plastic wrapped state and it pops up and sort of inflates all on its own.  It prevented me having to take time off for a delivery service which was very nice and I could bring it all in and set it up all by myself..

It has been chilly here, I know don't laugh as all of you are in frigid temps with horrible storms, or are dealing with fire damage and smoke.  Mornings have been in the 30's which is cold for here.  My house has great windows so I don't often turn on the heat but these past few weeks I have been so cold I have given myself headaches trying to stay warm, ridiculous I know.  Even the boys have been cold and have enjoyed a few minutes here and there being covered up all snug and cozy.

I don't do a word for the year anymore, frankly what word would even work in these very dark and perilous times? But I am concentrating on rebuilding my life, restoring my sanity if that is even possible and reconstructing things both physically in my home, and emotionally in my heart.  In this crazy world of parenting a very special boy with a very special heart and brain, with a self centered and self serving co-parent it is hard to keep my mind and body moving forward and not getting caught up in the constant day to day ridiculousness.  I feel that is the only way I am going to be able to move forward with  my thoughts and beliefs on the political spectrum as well.  Rebuild myself, restore my faith in myself and mankind however I can, and reconstruct after all the devastation that is currently happening to so many and will only get worse.  You can't give in but you can pick your fights, you can defend your opinion and you can remind those that this is what they asked for and they are going to get far worse. A nurse I occasionally work with was gleeful that there are now according to her only two sexes and the Gulf of America now exists,  I laughed at her and shook my head at her ridiculous beliefs and said that is a horrible way to think and I hope she can do better.  I will be quiet when needed, speak out when I can, take time to restore myself through exercise, walks on the beach, meditation and prayer, and reconstruct and rebuild when the opportunity arises, just like my beloved Island.

Hope you can rebuild, restore and reconstruct when you need to.

Merry Christmas

 Merry Christmas to all who are celebrating this year and to all those celebrating other traditions and holidays.  Hope the magic of this season has come fully into your heart and your home.  Even if it is in very small ways, I hope we all notice the many gifts we have that have nothing to do with presents under a tree. Wishing you all the very best.

Thankful........

Hello everyone, I know it has been a while.  We weathered the last hurricane much better than most.  I had my boys and their significant others here for Milton and it was very nice.  Before the storm I put up all the hurricane protection guards on the windows all by myself, I had one son working and one out of town so it was up to me, and thankfully I could do it.  It was interesting getting them down from the very small attic in my garage but once they were down they were easy to install.  Everyone arrived in time for the storm and we had a good time, playing UNO, eating and maneuvering around each other in this small house.  We never lost power like so many, nor did we have major damage, a tree down in my backyard that was quickly cut up by a neighbor, a small leak in a skylight that was fixed a few weeks after, I had lots of small branches down and a broken light with a sensor that resides on the side of my house but nothing else.  It was nice to see neighbors out helping neighbors and my oldest son's and their partners out helping pick up debris for others as well. I had friends out of power for days, friends with big trees uprooted but for us we were just fine.  It was pretty scary watching Milton swirl out in the Gulf heading towards us, but a late turn south of us really saved this area.  We were blessed when so many weren't, I am grateful and also sad for those still battling to get their homes fixed.

This past month has been about trying to get back to work when I can, I missed 10 days because of Helene and Milton, Little Buddy missed 13 days of school! His school had the gym roof peel back which allowed so much water and wind damage inside.  They opened a week after the public schools in this area.  Still they got his school up and running and they were back in their regular routine which makes all of these neurodiverse children happy, their parent, too!

My favorite place to walk on the beach just opened with limited spaces available yesterday.  As I could not walk at the island I walked on the causeway to the island several times.  This big sailboat blew up in the storm and was just sitting on the sand near the street.  There must have been powerful waves to get this boat stuck way up on shore. My dear Honeymoon Island had devastating destruction, most of the barrier islands did so I am so happy it is partially open now and hope to pay a visit there next weekend.

This week as we celebrated Thanksgiving here in the States, I tried, as I do everyday, to focus on all I am grateful for.  I start every morning with a gratitude practice and end my day with one as well.  I was working on a little 4 1/2 month old baby on Monday and as I helped him fall asleep and began working to shift his skull where it was misshaped due to preference to sleeping with his head to the right, I looked at that sweet sleeping face and was just so grateful I get to do the work I do, so grateful I have my house, family, friends and job of course. Even with the darkness I felt so strongly after the election, I felt grateful for the community I have created that is so supportive of my Little Buddy and his very special and complex needs.  I am not sure those needs will be met in the future with Medicaid reductions and his schooling/scholarship in jeopardy, his educational needs are supported by the Department of Education, the government agency that ensures all children with special needs receive the education they deserve just like their peers.  At this point there is not a lot I can do about it but pray that he and all the children like him are safe with their medical and educational needs.  I often think wouldn't it be nice to not have to pray for these things not to change but to know they are a right that these kids deserve and a right that won't be taken from them.  In the last four years it never occured to me that they would be taken away, but the world we now will be living in will be vastly different from where we have been, and it won't be better in any sense.

I am also grateful that my family was with me yesterday for Thanksgiving.  This is the first time in the last four Thanksgiving's they have been with me.  Thanksgiving has good memories for me as a child but not so good as an adult with the stress it entailed while living with my thankfully ex-husband.  Yesterday was easy and peaceful, the day unfolded with only one behavior issue with Little Buddy and lots of food and conversation later in the day when my older boys came with their significant others, I even quickly spoke to a couple of friends and my sister.  And I am thankful for Zombie masks that help with very bad acne!

I am truly blessed, really and truly blessed and I hope you know I am very thankful for all of you who still visit me here in this space when I can drop in.  Wishing you a wonderful day.  Today we are finishing up decorating for Christmas and going to see Moana 2 at the movie theater, my choice not Little Buddy's, but he is still going along!

Storms and casts...............

 

Hello everyone!  We are in the middle of hurricane and cast season here, both of which stink.  Hurricane Helene came in with catastrophic flooding to my area in Florida and all over the south as you have all seen.  As of now 15 people have died in my county, three on a street I work on.  So many are devastated, it is so sad.  We are fine, sailed through another one with no flooding or loss of power but just a mile away they lost power for 5 days.  It seems minor compared to the devastation in this area and north of us.  And hooray we have a rain system on the way ready to drop 4-7 inches into already water logged areas starting Sunday.  This system or the one after it will be a tropical storm or hurricane by the time it hits us as we are directly in the path of its expected arrival.  There are apparently at least two out there that will affect us. I am not worried for us, but those who have lost everything and are just cleaning up are going to be affected again.  Of course the loss of life and destruction in Georgia, North and South Carolina and Western Virginia is just horrific, but it is pretty rough here as well.  My beautiful Honeymoon Island is decimated, all the beaches on the barrier islands are simply gone, the buildings at these parks are ruined, the electrical systems and roads are gone.  Some homes near the water but on the mainland had 10-12 feet of water in them and people did not have time to get away because the forecast was for a storm surge but nothing of this capacity.  It is just so sad all around. 

Little Buddy is currently completing week two of casting with another new casting day on Monday.  This will be a 6-8 week process.  He is already showing signs of improvement which is better than we had hoped for at this point.  It is a big deal for him to get around, taking him longer to get places and really making him tired by the end of the day.  I have to remind myself to be really patient with him because fatigue might be the issue rather than difficult behavior by the afternoon. The casts must be soaked daily for 3-5 minutes so that is a lot of fun.  You do not want to picture me getting him in the tub to soak, up on his shower chair to take a shower, or help him navigate getting his clothes over the casts.  I am thankful he is who he is and doesn't get embarrassed that his Mom is helping him at the age of 13.

I am forcing myself to crochet.  Literally making myself do it on the weekends.  I hope to make Ariana by Berroco if the plans work out.  I had all the yarn minus the red which I purchased last week. I have lost my creative mojo for far too long.  It was such a big part of who I thought I was but now realize I created or had yarn in my hands much of the time to self soothe throughout much of my marriage.  Things will never settle down as long as I have this special needs child that we share so I think it is time to try and get back in the saddle and create, I don't want to lose that part of myself as well.

Please stay safe out there my friends. From all of us here including my granddog Luna, who is here for the weekend and another week of storms, stay safe. 

Updated:  Looks like Milton will be a category 2 hurricane heading our way.

Suddenly it is late September...........

 

Hello everyone, hope you are all well.

Little Buddy started 7th grade weeks ago, time has flown by so fast. He is enjoying it so far and only causing a little bit of a ruckus in his classes.  He has to change classes four times a day, just like big kids do.  He isn't one to do well with transitions so I am keeping my fingers crossed it continues to go well.

I had to get new sod in once again.  It is so frustrating when you see your new sod turning brown and that horrible brown spreading and spreading. I took pictures week after week to show its demise, but even with that it was a fight to get new sod put down.  They blamed not enough watering although it was watered nightly for 8 weeks and we have had plenty of rain, even a tropical storm. I even removed a large area of sod and put in stepping stones and mulch, that little project gave me an intense two week headache from the lifting. The sod guy and I finally made a deal I paid for the new sod again but not any of the labor, I'm just happy it looks good after 5 days.

My friend Holly turned me onto this great cookbook.  I have been experimenting with some good and some bad results.  The thumbprint cookies are excellent, the brownies looked fantastic but were very bland.  Still it's fun to experiment with no gluten, no dairy, no eggs and dates and bananas or unsweetened applesauce for a sweetner. 

There were some walks on the beach a few weeks ago, I barely remember them now.  My favorite beach, Honeymoon Island State Park has had so much sand erosion from all the storms.  It has changed in shape and the end is now completely cut off from the main island.  It is sad and fascinating to see all at the same time.  I fear it will be underwater in a few years if climate change and these big storms don't slow down.

Little buddy has a friend at school he sits with at lunch.  She wrote me a note with her mother's number on it stating they would like to go to the movies.  I sent the lovely Mom a text and they ended up meeting us at a small farm yesterday.  It was cute feeding the goats, petting the bunnies and just getting to know two very brave women who adopted this lovely and complex little girl with a lot of trauma in her past.  How beautiful that so many wonderful and dedicated people step up and adopt these kids in need.  Their story warmed my heart.  And it is always good to have a friend when you are Little Buddy and friendships are hard to make.

Little Buddy has some rough weeks ahead of him.  We are getting casting done of his ankles and lower legs to stretch out those super tight heel cords this week.  His bones are growing faster than his muscles and tendons can keep up.  This is a pretty normal thing for kids with Cerebral Palsy, I guess we have been lucky so far in that area.  Still I am sad he will have to endure this and this is just a band aid until he will need surgery. One step at a time, right?

Hope you are all well.  Happy Autumn!

a last part of summer trip..........

 Little Buddy and I had a late summer trip, we went over to Titusville to stay as close to the Kennedy Space Center as possible.  We arrived Thursday evening after back to school/meet the teacher afternoon. It was a long drive as traffic is always horrible in Tampa and all the way to Orlando, but we made it and headed up to the rooftop restaurant for dinner which was very exciting.  

Friday we made it a whole 5 1/2 hours at Kennedy Space Center before one little guy was almost crying because he was so tired.  That is a long time for him to be walking and standing.  I'd say the whole place was amazing. I think with all the rockets going off funded by little boy billionaires playing around we forget how amazing space travel really is.  Seeing the Atlantis was just incredible. Seeing the IMAX production about The James Webb Telescope was so fascinating, how it was created and the truly unimaginable pictures it sends back, well it was incredible as well.  We walked all the way over to see a rocket launch that got canceled at the last minute.  The whole place is very large, lots of walking on a hot day, but with most of the venues inside it made it bearable. At the 5 1/2 hour mark this guy got very tired, not even a scoop of dippin dots ice cream could make it better.  So we made our way back to the car and back to the hotel.  After making it in the door and we both took a much deserved nap.  Funny I spent so much time online looking at hotels, I wanted a pool for us to go swimming in, a restaurant and something very close to Kennedy Space Center.  Well we did make it to the rooftop restaurant with a speedy express elevator that counts down to lift off, but not to the pool, we were way, way to tired. It was a big adventure for both of us.  

I am pretty much solely financially responsible for this little one so taking time off from work is really hard for me.  Missing the income and of course the expense of hotels, parking, eating out and of course tickets is hard for me to swallow.  But I also feel it is important that he knows Mom can do this with him and it isn't always Dad who takes him away on extravagant trips, some of which he could care less to even go on.  So in a way I am proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone, taming down my anxiety a bit and making the plans for our adventure.  He had a great time, and while I was fascinated by it all, this trip was for my amazing boy, with the amazing brain who just loves facts.  And the big bonus is we rode on an elevator he had never even heard of.  I thought the elevator fascination stage was over with but apparently a new brand of elevator is still very exciting.

Monday starts the school year.  Little Buddy will be in 7th grade and will be changing classes four times a day.  Thats big stuff! Luckily it is all with teachers he knows and trusts and he will have a behavior therapist with him most of the time making transitioning easier for him, and for me if I am honest! We are having a family pizza night tomorrow with big brothers and their partners to celebrate!

Hope you are all having a wonderful end of your summer and you are staying safe from the remnants of Tropical Storm Debbie, she packed a punch here last Sunday and Monday. I was happy to see her move on, but that is just another day living in Florida and frankly once we knew she was sailing past us and heading north for landfall we didn't even blink.  It was actually cozy to be forced to stay in with the rain and wind howling outside. 

Hope you all have a wonderful week