Friday, June 18, 2010

The Summer of Little Blogging

Here I am again saying again how busy I am. So busy that the thought of taking pictures and posting on my blog is daunting. I know that I am no busier than anyone else. I know people find time in their lives to do the things they want. I just don't seem to find they time to blog.

You see it is not that I am busier than usual. It is that my mind is so busy I can't seem to settle down enough to put two coherent words together. I have told you before that I am a worrier by nature. I see the glass as a bit empty, never almost full. So my mind is heavy with the thoughts of others. I know you have all seen this post before, maybe I should cut and paste it from last time.

I am always worried about my oldest son. He just doesn't seem to care about school even though he is very bright. When I was younger we had time to mature, now kids have to get great grades to get in any college, even with an athletic scholarship. Swimmers are not getting the big bucks in schools so they have to get good grades. Football players are a different story. It is hard to be 16, I am not sure I even want to know what these kids are exposed to. It scares me sometimes to think about what he is facing everyday. I love him and hope that the love he gets from his family will see him thorough all that he comes up against.

My parents are a constant worry. I am stuck between caring for my kids and my parents. Not an easy place to be. They are getting older and having more difficulty all the time. They won't move to assisted living so that leaves my sister Claudia and I to sort things out for them. Things of course they think don't need to be sorted out.

The economy is still so hard for most people. It is hitting hard to so many.

The oil spill is devastating. I cringe every time I see the paper and see all the oil covered birds and dead sea creatures. I feel so sorry for the people who have lost family members, and have lost their lively hood. The animals are so innocent and so many more have perished then we know about.

My neighbor is going in for her bone marrow transplant in July. She is so upset and not feeling all that positive. How to help her is beyond me at this time. I just check in with her and listen when she needs me. I take her to treatments and try to make her laugh.

And last but not least I am just saying Menopause sucks! It magnifies every little thing that goes on in your life. When I depart this life I always say that God and I are going to have a little chat. One of the first things I am going to ask is, "Why do women, who have given their lives to their families have to go through a 'Change' when our kids are in puberty, and our parents are having difficulty?" Is this a joke or something? Haven't we sacrificed enough with periods, childbirth, sagging boobs and bigger hips? We put or careers on hold then have to find them again so we can pay for our kids text messages and Oakley sunglasses. Why can't the 'Change' give us better bodies, fewer wrinkles, and less gray hair. I am just saying, life doesn't seem to be fair.


Claudia said...

No, life doesn't seem fair. Why we have to have periods, cramps, sagging boobs, and then to top it all off, menopause is beyond me. What do men have to cope with? A receding hairline? That's about it.

It is such a hard time for everyone. You know I share your worries, especially about Mom and Dad. If you can, remember to stop, visualize, and see not what appears to be reality, but what you want to be your reality. We have to remind each other to do that.

Love you,

Darcys Knotty Knitter said...

You are being pulled so many ways and I know how you feel if it wasn't for my husband I don't think I could keep it together.
As for the menopause the Vivelle Dot works great.
I know your friend appreciates you being there with her and hopefully everything will be okay.
You are a comfort to those around you and a blessing:)
Thank-you for your comment on my blog it meant much to me.(((((Hugging You))))) Darcy

tina said...

Busy? Heck, I'm just now reading your blog post! ;) Hugs honey, I send hugs. The caring thoughts and fact that we as creative women hold space for one another is what keeps us ticking! HUGS!!!!!!!!

A. Warped, knitter said...

Just keep on doing what you can for all of the people that you love. You never know what little thing will make a difference in their lives or yours.

Mrs. Staggs said...

Oh boy, Meredith, I'm sorry, but this cracks me up, because I just told my sister the same thing about God. I said that if there is a God, by golly I've got quite a few questions, and even more suggestions! LOL!

I do know what you're feeling though, especially about your parents. My sister and I have been through a number of large changes in our lives the last few years, and nearly all of them have revolved around parents, grandparents and children. My friend Phyllis once told me "Life comes at you fast sometimes". Boy does it ever! Sometimes the best you can do, is just get through. The one thing that I've learned though, is that things do have a way of working out, not the way you'd always like for them to, but things usually do sort out, and hopefully, we've gained some wisdom along the way. In the meantime, do the best you can do take your moments one at a time. Really be mindful of them, because you don't want to wish your life away. It's easy to do that, you know. Wish for this moment, or that feeling to go away. Now, is all we have. I'd give anything to have a few moments back with loved ones who are gone now. Just to tell them that I love them one more time. Love gets us through so many things and it's going to get you and your son through these next few years too.


Mrs. Staggs said...

You know, I stressed the whole college thing, and I really wish now that I hadn't. My son was a pretty good student, but still, he didn't get into his first choice of schools. We know a lot of kids with grade points that were almost perfect that didn't get theirs either. All these kids did get into good schools though, and they are doing just fine. My son left his college after the first year, went to community college for a couple of years, and then got into his first choice school. He's doing good. He isn't a stellar student in college, but he's doing fine. It's taking a little bit longer than he planned, but not too awfully much longer, and he's happy. He's happy now, not sometime in the future. Don't become a victim of parent peer pressure. There is a lot of that out there, and I think it is one of the biggest stresses in families these days. I actually know of a few moms who told me around the time of college picks that they would go out of their way not to run into certain people, because so much emphasis was put on what their child was doing next, and they didn't want to see folks looking down their noses at them because of trade school or community college, or taking a year or two to figure it out. Some of the coolest people I know, took a little time off between high school and college. They took some time to figure out what they wanted to work towards. College is a big thing to take on. Just do what feels right for your son. Really see him for who he is, not who you want him to be. We know of two very well known surgeons here on the west coast that were not the best of students. They'll tell you that themselves. One of them, I thought he'd never figure out what he wanted to do, but he did. The other barely made it through school. Now, they are considered two of the best in their fields. We don't all walk the same path to get to where we want or need to be. That's ok, and can actually be a good thing. I'm an awfully big fan of taking the scenic route. Oh, and the whole athletic scholarship thing....I'd put that completely out of my mind. I saw a whole lot of kids made miserable by parents and that subject, and most of the kids that I knew who won those scholarships... they couldn't keep up with sports and studies both. My son was a baseball player and very good, and until he was seriously injured in his Junior year we would have to ask people not to talk about scholarships to him. A child should play a sport because he loves it and it builds character at certain levels. That is great reward. I hope this doesn't sound "know it all", but truly, I've been there with my son and with numerous neices and nephews. They're all taking such interesting paths, and it's been both fun and a little bit of a worry to watch them at times, but they're all very fine people. Frankly, I think we'll be worried mothers our whole live. I sort of think, that's what mothers do.

It's trite I know, but most true things usually are. Life truly is about the journey.

Take care,

P.S. I hope this isn't seeming way to long. You just sound so upset, and I know just how you feel. I've been there sweetie.