Saturday, February 25, 2012

Random Thoughts in a Busy Week

I am sure you all have busy weeks that just seem to make you crazy.  I am experiencing an exceptionally crazy one this week.  Work, kids, parents and my house, toss in a migraine headache and there has been no relief in site. There has been no time for blogging this week, and since I feel I can not even write a coherent sentence (thank you migraine), you are getting random thoughts (and pictures).

 Another completed shawl soon to be sent to my sister for the Etsy shop.  I am taking a weaving break as these are not selling like wildfire.  I love them but I don't think there true beauty shows up in picture form.  Number 11 finished project of the year for me.

 My son's flowers are fading, I am still trying to enjoy every last second they have life in them.

My visits to my Mom are getting harder and harder.  She is still fading so slowly, it is so difficult to see.  She can not even shift her weight in her wheelchair or the bed.  She opens her eyes and rarely is able to have even a four to five word conversation.  Mostly she sleeps.   I hate the smell of the nursing home and feel horrible that I feel relieved when my schedule is so busy I can't visit for a day.  That of course makes me feel guilty and the cycle continues.

My husband and I reached 20 years of marriage this week.  A huge feat in this day and age.  So many people I know are getting divorced after 25, 30 years.  What is going on with that?  I guess you never reach a stage where you are safe, it is so sad to me, all those years together and then, boom your whole family is torn apart.

 I have started some scarves for the Etsy store, in prima cotton, so wonderful to work with.

I took this one with me to Orlando yesterday.  My son and I left at 5:30 in the morning for a swim meet he was to swim one event in, he made finals, which I suppose is good, so we stayed and made it home by 10 PM.  I had a lovely time eating and shopping at Whole Foods (by myself), and crocheting in the stands during warm-ups.  We are repeating this again tomorrow so hopefully I should get in more crochet time.

 Behind my pool the jungle has become overgrown.  It is a mess and I do not have time to tame it.  It is bothering me like crazy.  Maybe I can tackle it next week when I do not have as much on my plate.

How was your week, are you getting a break this weekend to do something you really like to do?


kathy b said...


I can relate to your mom's demise . MY mom is beginning to fail and I have trouble mustering the oomph to visit her too. It is depressing. Try not to feel guilty....that is the worst part. Your kids need you too. YOu need time for you.
I love your weaving and your crocheting. It is lovely.
I work every weekend night shifts, so the weekend is my workend. I love the nurses I work with, so that is a huge thing.
Stitch by stitch we embrace the days...

Karen said...

I've not been in your situation, where a parent is failing, but I've seen friends go through it. It isn't easy. Take good care of yourself, Meredith! Your mom would want you to, too.

My week was nuts, too. And the one ahead looks really nuts, with hardly a bare spot on my calendar. I need to take up my quilt again for some down time.

Congratulations on your 20th anniversary! I know what you mean, a good friend of mine is divorcing after 21 years of marriage. I understand the circumstances, but after that long there are so many relationships that will be affected. I know it isn't easy for her.

Have a good weekend, Meredith! I hope you get to relax a bit after the swim meet today.

Susanne said...

I understand your reluctance to visit your mother. It was the same for us when my mil was alive and steadily going down hill after 5 years in a nursing home. The staff is always short and under paid, the smells are not always pleasant, even at mealtime. A lot of feelings come from guilt, knowing that one mother managed to take care of several children, yet those same children can't take care of one mother. We are living in difficult times, it is hard to juggle family, homes, jobs and all the other things that pull and steal our precious time. Back in the day when moms were raising us they usually didn't work outside of the home. In today's life it is almost impossible for a household to survive on just one paycheck, both adults have to work. Congrats on your anniversary and your son's swimming. Your shawls are as lovely as ever and they will sell in time when the right person sees them. Don't get discouraged. Right now you have a Garden of Weedin so don't fret, that job will be tackled when time allows. Right now you need to take care of more important things, and make sure you take care of you. Thank you for stopping by my blog and leaving sweet comments.
(((HUGS))) Susanne :)

Jane said...

Poor Meredith, you're having a tough time. Try not to feel guilty-you're only human. We can sometimes be sandwiched between caring for our parents and caring for our children, but your needs are important too. Don't be so hard on yourself!
Maybe you need some time away with friends or your husband? Even just two days can be so refreshing.
hope you have some peaceful time soon
Jane x

Claudia said...

Jane has the right idea - come up and visit us!


Annie said...

If it's any consolation I for one think your shawls are beautiful!

Liz said...

Sorry to hear about the tough time with your mother. I went through the same with my grandfather. My sister and I did our best with taking care of him last year. We were all he had. We finally had to put him in a VA nursing home. We just couldn't do it on our own. We felt guilt, but his declining health and having children of our own prevented us from staying with him more. I had to come to the realization that we could only do so much.

Your latest shawl and scarves are beautiful. I hope this coming week will be better for you:D

Teresa said...

Sounds like you're in one of those blue moons I hit a while back... it's a phase, dear Meredith. It's hard seeing someone we love slipping away--and not being able to do anything to help and wishing you could just back away for a while. I can totally understand you.
To help you cheer you up, we all think your shawls are stunning! Don't worry, sometimes things take a little while to kick off and when it does... you'll be wishing you had more time to make them :)
Congratulations on your anniversary--20 years is something not many of us can achieve! And I believe you'll see many more because you're such a wonderful and considerate person, you'll know what is necessary to make it stay healthy :)
I always remember your words about the therapeutic benefits of crochet and knitting. Keep that in mind!
Hope this week will be a lot sweeter for you, Meredith XXX

Grateful4Crochet said...

That scarf you are making is so bright and beautiful!!!
And so are your shawls.
I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you with your Mum.
Take care of yourself, and be kind to yourself. I'm sending a big cyber hug and good wishes to you. (I know a housekeeper or a lottery win would probably be more helpful!!)

The Garden Bell - Kate said...

Love the rich colors of your new shawl. The scarves are perfect for the shop. And of course, there is nothing like a weekend poolside at a swim meeting. Glad to hear he did well. But, those all day events are killers. Happy to hear you had some yarn along.

by Teresa said...

I've told you how we lost all 4 of our parents over the last several years and I can so relate to what you are living through. Parents get very difficult near the end and you just have to power through it. But don't feel guilty if you miss a time. You are doing a lot and are to be commended. I adore your woven scarves.

Thinking of you.. Teresa

delia hornbook said...

Please don't feel guilty about your mother its very hard and she will understand just how you are feeling if she was well enough to. Its so hard to watch someone you love slip away slowly its cruel for them and everyone around them. I hope your miagrain leaves you soon my little boy suffers with these and there horrible. Loving your new crochet scarfs those will be lovely. Take lots of care, dee x

Petunia Pill said...

Ohhhh, the times of our lives...they do take their toll on us! Try to be good to you so you can find the energy to keep "swimming". Your son is not the only one racing...yours is the race of life...winning will take its toll on slow and steady when you can, my friend - this race is different. How wonderful it is that you have found looms and hooks and needles to slow your natural pace and help you to calm down and go to your happy place. Take care, Meredith. Hugs, Annette

MaryMargaret said...

It sounds like you have a lot going on right now. I'm so sorry you have to see your Mom decline- it is something I'm dreading with my own parents but witnessed with my grandparents. It's just hard. Let go of the guilt. It serves no purpose right now, and just drags you down.

I love the scarves you are working on- keeping my fingers crossed that you get in more hook time tomorrow, and that your son does well!

As for the "jungle" behind your pool? It makes me feel so much better about my own flower beds, which presently resemble the Amazon.

Babajeza said...

Hello Meredith

My life seems to be similar to yours. There isn't a moment to sit down and breath. The weeks have been stuffed lately. And now I'm in a class camp. I went there with two other teachers yesterday (Satureday) to get everything ready before the students would arrive. They are here (Sunday). Where has my weekend go ....

Sue said...

Hi Total understanding for the Mom thing, wouldn't wish a slow loss on my worst enemy, Lost my Mum very very slowly and it still haunts me today
so, so very sad thinking of you x

andamento said...

You sound very busy, I hope things calm down a little for you soon, though sometimes it's good to have lots to keep you occupied.
Sorry to hear about your Mum, it doesn't sound a good situation. Thinking of you,

Toni said...

I'm sorry about your mom. This can't be easy. :(

On the upside, congratulations on the 20 year anniversary!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is wonderful! Wishing you MANY more happy years together.

Dee said...

Happy anniversary!!! I know what you mean about long-term marriages not making it. My best-friend's mom and dad divorced after 51 years of marriage. Wouldn't you think after 51 years you would have it all together????? I guess not.

It was sad.

If you ever get back to Orlando and have some time for coffee, let me know. There is a good Barnie's right by that Whole Foods. My email is on my blog.

Hugs to you and your Mom. You are both in my prayers.

T's Daily Treasures said...

Hi Meredith, I hope you were able to find time to relax over the weekend. We all have weeks that get a bit crazy. After a nice, quiet weekend, I am energized and feel like I can do it all, but by mid-week that feeling starts to fizzle. You have a lot going on and can only do so much. It's not easy making the hard choices, but don't feel guilty. You are doing your best. Your shawls are beautiful; love those scarves, too. And I don't think the area behind the pool looks bad at all. Sometimes it is good to let go of how we think things should be. In the end, they really aren't that important. Happy anniversary! My husband and I have been together 20 years, married for 17-1/2 years. Second marriages for both of us. Too easy for folks to throw in the towel these days. Every relationship is give and take. Wishing you a great new week, migraine-free. I woke this morning with another headache, but thankfully it's disappeared now. Back to school for us tomorrow after our nice 4-day weekend. Sending hugs and blessings your way, Tammy

Faeryfay said...

So sorry to hear about your poor mum. That must be so hard to see and go through. Migraines are just the worst too! What a week. Hope next week is better:-)

millefeuilles said...

I am so sorry to read about your migraine - they are so very awful to live with - but overjoyed to find out about your wedding anniversary coming up.

I had a very rare day to myself this weekend which I crammed full of making and creating. Of course when my husband delivered himself and the children back home my little youngest succumbed to the delights of gastric flu. Typical! One day off and then several days of double shift work! ;-)

momto8 said... do have a lot on your plate!! and as always, it seems when it rains it pours....
I hope you have a relaxing uneventful week.
good luck with everything.

Red said...

Hello. I'm just going to say that everything everyone above me has said is so true! Take care of yourself and do not feel guilty. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Life has it's struggles and we push through them and on to the next round. Your shawl is stunning. I love the rich colors. {{hugs}}