Thursday, June 14, 2012

Tired (If you do not want to hear me whine, please pass on by)

 I. Am. Tired.  I am plum tuckered out.  This year is really starting to take its toll on me.  Lots of stress, some of it good and a good portion of it bad.  I am tired.  This graduation and all the festivities have put me over the edge.  While I am so proud of my son, I worry about him too, as all Mother's do.  Mr. 18 year old had a bit too much fun on the evening of his graduation, so he is now grounded.  The worry never stops does it?  We had a party for my son and his best buddy at our house Saturday evening.  All the cleaning, prep work, organizing, smiling, conversation, more smiling and clean up afterward has worn me out.  For some reason I am having trouble bouncing back from all the activity.  Maybe it is the dreaded Menopause, or my thyroid is low, or I am out of shape or I have just plain hit the wall.  

My MIL has been visiting this past week to help us celebrate.  I have written about her before and you know how absolutely amazing she is.  Imagine being almost 94 and traveling to Florida for your grandson's graduation.  But now she requires a great deal of time.  Time that I love to give her, but time none the less.  She now has really terrible short term memory.  Most of the time it isn't an issue as you just repeat the same conversations, over and over again.  What makes it more and more difficult is now her feeling are getting hurt.  If you tell her you are going to work, an appointment, or to take a shower, she forgets and feels like you have left her.  Even if you remind her several times, leave her a note, etc., her feeling get hurt.  She is so wonderful and has been such an active, loving participant in my kids lives that the last thing I wan to do is hurt her feelings.  It is funny how she remembers negative emotions even if she doesn't remember what really happened. 

So while we have been sitting and chatting, I have been working on this.  The Cardi Shrug by Jennifer L. Jones.  This free pattern can be found on Ravelry.  This is the lovely hand spun yarn I bought a while back.  With only 465 precious yards to work with, I thought a shrug might be a perfect project for this yarn.

It is worked from the top down, with raglan sleeves.  I like that as I am tall and can really make the most of the yarn I have making the shrug as long as I want.  To my total surprise, Jane over at Hook and Yarn just completed the same project.  Pop on over to her blog to take a peek.  Of course in true Meredith fashion I do not have the correct yarn, gauge, needle size, etc.  Another fly by the seat of my pants project.  My yarn is much too thin, I had to go up a needle size and still do not have gauge.  I have added more repeats, and I am going to hope for the best.  It is an easy knit, so that has helped me tremendously this past week.

So now I am off to work and hopefully will be able to catch my breath this weekend.  Sorry for whining, but as I said before I am worn out!

Here is hoping you have a lot more energy than me.


Dee said...

It must be something in the air ... I feel pretty much the same way minus the graduate and mother in law.

I just feel plain worn out and it's hard to find the energy to do the things I should be doing.

Hope the "fog" lifts for both of us soon.

Knitting Nix said...

It's ok to be tired. We all feel like that at times. Take the weekend to catch your breath, get some "me" time in, after all you have done for others lately, you need this! Think of yourself as a re-chargable battery and it is now time to go back in the charger :) xxx

Teresa said...

You need a recharge! You have been through so much in a short time. I hope soon you can get some rest. Can you get a day away? Just yourself and do something you want to do? Hope so! We all need some down time.

Kris said...

Whine all you want my friend. It helps. Can I say this to you? My dear son...our youngest, who just turned 23, was pretty much a model kid. Straight A's. Gate class. Excelled in everything he touched. His senior year, he just got lazy. Hated school. Ditched a fair share. Straight A's turned to B's and some C's. He could have gone to ANY college he wanted. He was a star basketball player, and wanted to go to the pros. He just sort of fell off his course. He had a girlfriend who may have had a lot to do with it. He is also a gifted musician, and decided that would be his course in life. The good news is...he has grown up A LOT, and is now much more like our Drew than he was those couple of rebel years. Your son will be fine!!!
Switch to WINE tonight!!!!

kathy b said...

Hey Mere

YOu better be nice to YOU!!! YOu have had a ton on your plate. TIme to recharge somehow. I LOVE the cardi shrug....heading over to check out the pattern.

Even tired, you inspired me!

Our kids do some dumb things....they learn from them. its okay

Rizzi said...


Jeanmarie DiTaranto said...

You certainly have my sympathy! That's what blog friends are for -- listening to a little whine once in a while and sending back best wishes!

Petunia Pill said...

Ahhhh, children!

I'm so sorry you're overwhelmed!

Ahhhhhh, the parents and in-laws.

It just SUCKS to be the sandwich filling in that cookie!

Find time to feel your joy, Meredith...even if it's 10 minutes per day. This, too, shall pass.

Huggin' you in my mind. A.

by Teresa said...

Hi Meredith, oh my.. I can so relate on the worn out part.. and the old person stuff... and the kid worry stuff.. I wish I could just give you a big old hug and hang out and crochet with you. Go to your "happy place" in your mind and take a day to take care of you. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

Babajeza said...

Hello Meredith

Your cardigan is lovely. After the shawls I'm totally into cardigans, top down, of course.

I completely understand that you feel tired. Life is an exhausting marathon, isn't it? What do you think, are we in the middle of it? Is there a refreshing point close? Is there anyone to give as a massage?

I can assure you, it's getting easier with the boys. They are getting older and more reasonable. However, you'd better head to this refreshing point.

Shari said...

Bless your little heart!! I am sorry things seem overwhelmed for you right now..Take lots of naps if you are able... I know I do when things get crazy!!! Maybe things will start to slow down. Hugs!!!!Shari

The Garden Bell - Kate said...

Bless your sweet little heart. I can't only send you a big hug of understanding. Doing much of the same here. What a struggle those days can be. I sure wish I had a sister now and wasn't the only girl to carry the load. Glad to see you have found some lovely yarn and a fun project to keep you busy. Have a relaxing weekend, you've earned it.

Stitchy Mc Floss said...

I believe it's the heat! I know all I want to do is sit inside by the air vent with a big ole' glass of iced tea and just knit! :)

Hugs to you for feeling so tired and down. You have a lot on your plate right now...just hang in there, things will settle down soon. Until then...aren't you suppose to to go to the yarn shop and buy something? Yeah, that always makes me feel good.

Blessings and hugs to you and my pal Max, too. :)

moonstruckcreations said...

Having a bit of a moan to friends is always a good thing - Im shattered at the moment and have just indulged in a bit of moan about this with my dear friend Sue!!

Hope things get easier soon.


Teresa said...

We're here for you, dear friend. I'm tired too--sometimes I feel tired just from... nothing, really! Or is it everything at the same time?
Don't worry. Whine all you need :) and believe better days will come!

mynestofyarnandbuttons said...

Hi Meredith, When it rains it pours! I hope things get better, I know they will, but never fast enough. I agree with everyone else you need peace, fun, and wine!!! Maybe a good book too and no interruptions.
I'm with you on the issue with your MIL, same thing in my life with my mom.
Let's all keep our heads up and have faith that this to shall past.


mynestofyarnandbuttons said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kathy b said...

You've done it! I have downloaded the cardi shrug pattern. I bought some delicious Madelinetosh yarn and I'm starting TOMORROW. THANK YOU MERE for a great pattern suggestion.

TACIStudio said...

Love the yarn and the colors... It will be a beautiful shrug!

Tammy@T's Daily Treasures said...

We all feel run down when we are being pulled in all directions. Ask for help if you need it. It's best to find a little breathing space and remember that it's all temporary. Better days are around the corner. Knitting is a great way to just be! I'm sure your shrug will turn out great. Breathe! Have a wonderful weekend. Tammy

Jane said...

Oh life can be tough can't it? But it so shows that you care deeply about doing the right thing, we can all see what a nice person you are. You'll get through it, just try not to be too hard on yourself.
That yarn you're using looks lovely. I bet it'll be a beautiful cardy when you're done with it!
Jane x

Grayseasailor said...

Am sending you a hug, Meredith. Your current knitting project is beautiful...even if you are "experimenting" with the pattern/yarn:)
Gracie <3

Susanne said...

Sweet friend, you go ahead and whine, we are here to listen and support you. Not a thing wrong with feeling like you are at the end of your rope and still trying to hang on for dear life. That is what we women do, we are everything to everybody (including MILs) and we accommodate everyone, forgetting about ourselves. Those graduation parties will wear you to a frazzle. I know I have done 2 when the girls graduated high school. I got smart though by the time they graduated from college, we treated them and 1 friend each to a nice dinner out in a better restaurant. When I did those parties our oldest insisted on a hog roast. The guy who did the pig was here at 6am sharp and left at 2pm when the party started. It was over 8 weeks of planning, and I made most of the side dishes myself. Guests arrived at 2pm and never left till in the wee hours of the morning. I started to serve people food at 2pm and never sat down to eat a bite until 7pm. I was so tired, so I understand of which you speak. Then later in the evening I had the clean up. When daughter #2 graduated she wanted Subway sandwiches as her main food. I had to run to Subway at the last minute to pick up 2 huge platters of sandwiches plus extra platters of the cheeses, pickles, onions, etc. They are all so big they would not fit in my side by side fridge so it had to be all last minute. Another party that lasted into the wee hours of the morning and finally I had to tell my husband to "make these people go home!" LOL....Several guests asked me if I would come and cater their graduation parties, my answer was NO! A whole lot of energy goes into doing this sort of thing. I was lucky that we didn't have a house guest. Bless their hearts MIL or parents are forever repeating the same old same old stuff and being patient and tolerant is a virtue, yet sometimes it gnaws on your last nerve. They are often like small children, demanding full attention continuously. What you need is some pampering time to yourself, some "me" time to just catch your breath and clear the cobwebs. When you feel like a train wreck and derailed, it is time to get back on track after all has settled down. Menopause does not help and if it remains an issue I suggest seeing your doctor for a complete lab work-up.
Sending a (((BIG HUG))) your way.
Susanne :)

WildflowerWool said...

Hope you have a quiet weekend with lots of time to work on the shrug. Knitting is the cure for everything :)

Jane said...

PS forgot to say thanks for the mention! And I don't think it's at all surprising that two women of impeccable taste both chose the same project - we know a good pattern when we see one :D
Jane x

Sue said...

Hi doing a bit of catching up today sorry to hear you feel so tired, hope you bounce back soon
Congratulations to your son onhis graduation...well done
Hugs Sue x

Rose Red said...

Sorry you are so tired - sounds like you need a holiday, even just a day away from home? Hope you get a chance to relax soon.

moonstruckcreations said...

Hiya, hope you are feeling better.

Just to let you know that I have given you the Sunshine Blogger Award!

Please pop over to my award to pick it up!


MaryMargaret said...

Be still my heart- you are HUMAN! Even happy circumstances can and will bring loads of stress that just wears you slap dab out. You can only be stretched in so many directions before it takes a noticeable toll on you. I hope this weekend has brought a bit of relief, and you are feeling more relaxed.


Lap Dog Knits said...

sounds like a long list of reasons to be very tired....

sometimes life is just that way..

soon...the tide will change...

the worry with the son....another decade you'll see a change...sorry...but truthful

until then..knit away my dear friend...knit away

I love the shrug...oh so pretty

Lena said...

Hi Meredith,

I've been catching up with your posts today. Congratulations to your son and to you and your family on his graduation. It's a special and emotional time in life.

My heart is with you and your friends, and your parents during what I know is a hard time. I imagine much of what is making you tired, is the stress of it all. Emotions can really wipe us out, I think. That's why I need so much time to myself, I think.

Your yarn creations, knitted and crocheted are all lovely as usual, and the woven shawls are so beautiful.

All my best,