"No act of kindness
no matter how small,
is ever wasted."
Thank you all for your kindness. Thank you all for your words of wisdom, your loving thoughts and prayers. We are holding steady right now. My Mom has been discharged back to the nursing home. My Dad said she faintly said, "I love you," today, that is progress. But while she is stable and breathing better, she is contracting at the elbows, wrists and hands. She is dependent in every area of her life, needing assistance to even move. It is a sad way to live. My mom who was vibrant and happy, is now trapped in a body that has been turning on her. I feel most of the time she is in a different place, and for that I am grateful, as this place, with her body this way, is so sad. I do not want her to be aware of her situation, it is too miserable.
My MIL is now on medication that will help her to breathe easier but will quicken her departure from this earth. She needs to be comfortable and we can not keep her here to please ourselves. Another tough situation, but after her miraculous life, she needs to pass away with ease, dignity, and with respect. Isn't that what we all hope for?
During this crazy time, there are times of laughter and times of work, There are times of messy diapers, smiles and sadness. There is laundry to do, food to prepare, a house to clean and kisses and hugs to pass around. There is worry, but that really serves no purpose. The worry is more because these difficult times are persisting, not because of the actual events taking place. Does that make sense at all? I worry that it is going to keep going on at this slow and painful rate.
So today I went for a walk in my overgrown garden and saw a surprise. Out of the weeds and dead plants, a surprise snapdragon, beautiful and yellow, standing on its own. I am hiring someone to clear the garden of last years growth and all the weeds. I do not have the time or energy. This will be the first time this has happened. I am also hiring someone to occasionally help me clean, there is no time for that anymore, the everyday stuff yes, the deep down stuff like blinds, ceiling fans and baseboards are not happening on my watch anymore. At least not until things settle down, with work and our parents. Little Buddy keeps me busy on my days off with all of his therapy appointments, he is more important at this time then all of that other stuff.
Giggles, giggles and more giggles are occurring because Mr. 20 year old is home and the wrestling, cuddling, and playing are at an all time high. Nothing makes you prouder than to see your 20 year old son loving a new little one with special needs. The feeling is very mutual, Little Buddy adores him, too. They are very cute together. My Teenager is quieter, his attention to Little Buddy is quiet and steady, but having Mr. 20 year old home is like going on wild ride at the amusement park, fun, fun, fun.
Hope you are all having a good week and I thank you again for all of your kindness. Each and everyone of you have touched my heart.