Sunday, November 1, 2015

Sorrow and Joy


For those of you who do not know already from reading my sister's blog, my Father passed away on Thursday after going into the ER Monday night with complications related to his blood thinner.  I spent almost every waking moment with him those last days, and they were a gift to me.  My dear sister Claudia arrived early Wednesday evening and was able to spend some really nice time with my Dad, and me of course, before he took a turn for the worse early Thursday afternoon.  He passed away with two of his daughters and his wonderful helper Stacey surrounding him with love.  It was humbling to be allowed to be present through his transition.  Humbling, amazing, sad and beautiful.  I am so glad he allowed us the opportunity to be by his bedside those last few days, taking care of him on a very basic level and giving us the chance to say how much we love him, share memories and tell him what a great Dad he was.  I hope that I am that lucky, to be surrounded by love because at the end of our lives that is all that matters.  It has been an exhausting week, thank God for my sister's presence here, I could not have done this on my own,   She is my rock.

In the midst of our pain and sorrow we had a little one to get ready for Halloween.  He had a big class celebration on Friday, so after we said our goodbyes to my Father we had to come home and decorate a walker for a very special pirate.  My dear friend Lynda in North Carolina prepared all of the walker decorations and sent them down.  We put it all together and it was very therapeutic.  Because even if you are sad and have just gone through a very profound experience, life keeps moving forward.  I have found that this precious little boy of mine, who spreads his magic everywhere, has made me smile, laugh and even get a little cross at his antics, but he is moving me forward.   He is helping my sister, too.  How can you not laugh when you are playing pirate?

For all of you who have sent me personal messages, I thank you so much.  I will get back with you soon I promise.  I have stayed off my blog, stayed off my email for the most part and just tried to stay present with what is going on.  There is so much to do to get his place packed up, his estate settled, but we can take that day by day.  For now Claudia and I will do what we can in the short time she is here, we will laugh at this little magic boy and enjoy our time together before she returns home tomorrow.

Hugs to you all.


71 comments:

Cheryl mylittlepieceofengland said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, what inadequate words, but I send them with love and concern. To be around so much love is wonderful and all any of us can hope for. Little Buddy looks amazing, what a treasure that little boy is, always brings a smile to my face. Take care my friend xx

Sharron said...

You are a remarkably strong woman Meredith. I'm so glad your father's passing was a positive experience, despite the obvious pain and sadness. I will be thinking of you during this emotional time, and send you strength to deal with all those final arrangements. So glad you have a wonderful family around you. With love always, Sharron x

HollyM said...

I'm sad to hear of your loss and very touched with your words of sorrow and happiness. Life does move on whether we like it or not as you've said but I admire how you've faced it.
What a sweetie he looks in his costume!
My condolences.

Michle said...

My sincere condolences Meredith. Even though you think the earth should stop turning, life goes on. Take on day at a time! It will get easier but that emptiness will always be there! But soon the dismay and sadness will be replaced with joy and peace as you remember all the good times you had with your parents and the person you have become because their love for you. Love and peace!

Michle

mynestofyarnandbuttons said...

Dear Meredith, I am so deeply sorry for your loss of your dad. I'm so happy you got to be with him and Claudia too. I was with my mom and it is a gift not many are given. I send you love and hugs to strengthen you and show my friendship.
LB is the best pirate ever, hugs to him and I hope he shares his candy. Chocolate always help me!
xoxoRobin

Annie Cholewa said...

Oh my dear Meredith, no words can be adequate, I can only send love x

Jo@awholeplotoflove said...

Meredith I am so so sorry for your loss, I'm glad you were with your father right at the end. I was with mine & found it so much easier to grieve. Take care my dear x

Linda @ A La Carte said...

My heart has been with you and Claudia since your Dad got sick and I'm still holding you both close in my heart. Life does go on and a little one will let you know that quickly. LB is adorable and such a blessing. I'm so glad Claudia could be there with you and share the passing of your Dad. I miss my Dad always and know your pain and profound sadness. Hugs.

Linda

Ali said...

So sorry for your loss Meredith, you and your family are in my thoughts at this sad time. X

Andrea Ostapovitch said...

I could never understand how life could just go on as normal when everything had changed completely after a loved one died. And it does, and we do, but in a different way. I am so glad you were there at his end, sending him onward with love. That is an incredibly beautiful thing. Your pain will transform, as it can only do within loving people, to even more love for those around you and in turn, you will be more loved.
Hugs to you Dear Meredith.
Andrea

ellen said...

I send love as well, Meredith. It is so good that you have your wonderful sister with you and that you could both be with your dad in his final hours.
Little Buddy is truly a spirit lifter. Take care, Ellen.

Lisa N. said...

Meredith, I am so sorry for your loss. I know it can be very difficult losing a loved one. I am glad that you had a good time getting Buddy ready for Halloween it keeps us moving forward. I wish you and your family all the best during this difficult time.
Hugs,
Lisa

Bridget said...

Meredith, my thoughts and prayers are with your dad and your family. You and he were lucky to be together even though it's heartbreaking.

Isn't it funny how life goes on anyway? I guess that is the only thing you can count on, no matter what.

Dug had a pirate costume for Halloween too - though I daresay he did not look as cute in his. :-)

Take care.

Janet said...

Dear Meredith,
So sorry to hear of your loss. What a blessing for you to have been with your father right up to the end. Sending you and all your family lots of love.
Janet XXX

kristieinbc said...

I am so very sorry to hear about your father, Meredith. I'm glad you and your sister were able to be with him through those last, precious days. And I'm also glad you have Little Buddy to give you small moments of joy in the midst of your grief. Hugs to you my dear friend.

Ann said...

I am so sorry for your loss but so very glad you and Claudia could be together to share those very special moments with your Dad before he passed away. They are precious and will bring you both much comfort and peace in the days to come. My prayers and thoughts are with you both for blessing.

Tree Hugger - Suzan said...

So many thoughts and prayers to you, to Claudia and your family!!
The passing of a parent is so very difficult, but being able to be part of that passing is -- as you said - a profound experience. Being able to share your thoughts and love and to know that he was able to express the same will give you strength!!
Buddy is looking good!! He's also blessed to have you and your family!!
God Bless You!!
Suzan

Clare said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, sending love to you all, it's good you are together at this time, helping each other through
Clare xx

CJ said...

Oh Meredith, I am so very very sorry for your loss. I remember a lovely photo of your father with your little buddy, it has stayed with me because it looked like such a special moment. I'm glad you and your sister were both there with him in his final days. I'm sending you a big hug. CJ xx

Acorn to Oak said...

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your dad. Your story scares me so much because my dad is on blood thinners too. I do worry about him already but this has me even more concerned. Wow!

Little Buddy is adorable as always! Looks like he's grown a bit. :-)

20 North Ora said...

Mere - So sorry for your loss. Aren't you glad you have that precious little one to bring some sunshine and laughter to your life at a time like this.

Praying for you.

Happy November.

Judy

Danette Bartelmay said...

Dear Meredith~
My heart is so heavy for you and your dear sister and family at this time.
I am blessed to know you spent the last precious part of your dad's life surrounding him with your love, for it truly IS the only thing...
Your Little Guy is THE CUTEST!
And what a BLESSING children are to us...
They keep us moving in the present and at the same time propel us into the future with hope :-)
I will be keeping you and yours in my prayers.
With Love,
Danette

Jo said...

I am sorry to hear about your father, I knew something wasn't right, I could feel it here. You have written such a beautiful post about your experience of death and I think you are a very strong person. Love to you from way over here. Jo x

Teresa Kasner said...

Dear Meredith.. it is a difficult time for you and your sister. I'm so glad she could come down to be with her father and you in his final hours. I am sending you my love and support and hope that all the details of what you have to deal with will go smooth and quickly. I'm glad you have Little Buddy to give you hugs and love during this time. Hang in there my friend.. you are loved by many. Email me if you want to "talk". ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

Clicky Needles said...

So sorry to hear this news Meredith. My heart goes out to you.

Amy at love made my home said...

You already know my dear. I got your e-mail and will be in touch in a few days to give you a chance for a break. You know where I am if you need. Much love as always. Fabulous costume for Buddy and the walker from your wonderful friend. You are much loved as is plain to see. xx

Christina said...

Dear Meredith. I am sending you love and hugs. I am so sorry for your loss. I am grateful that you have been able to spend precious time with your father, and share this with your sister, too. Being able to be there for a loved one during their last days and hours is one of the most profoundly wonderful and saddening experiences. It is so true, whilst you are in that bubble of care and love, the world outside keeps on moving. It can be a bit of a shock but also so very comforting, isn't it? I still remember holding my dad's hand as he was slowly slipping away whilst hearing my oldest, Sam, squeal with delight about something or other outside in the hospital garden. Life is beautiful and painful. I am glad you are surrounded by love.
Little Buddy is a super pirate, love his outfit and his walker pirate ship. Hugs. Christina xx

honeycat said...

God bless you lovely Meredith xx

Threads of Inspiration said...

I am sorry for your loss. It is so good to have a supporting, loving family to share the sorrow of going through a transition, not only your fathers, but yours as well. I wish you peace.

Una said...

Sorry for your loss. I remember having to host a 10th birthday party for my daughter the week after my Dad died. Seeing those happy children and how my daughter was coping really helped me move on. Take things slowly. Everything will eventually be sorted out.

Joyful said...

Hugs dear Meredith. I'm sorry for your loss but so glad you were able to be there during your dad's transition and with your sister to help. Little Buddy looks cute as always. xx

Stitchy Mc Floss said...

Keeping you and your sweet family in my thoughts and prayers sweet friend. :)

Angela Bellamy said...

I am so sorry for your loss and will keep you and your family in my thoughts xoxo

Caffeine Girl said...

My love and thoughts are with you. I am so glad that your sister was there and you have each other. We should all be so lucky as to move to the next world with our loved ones at our side.

Take all the time you need.

Primroses Attic said...

Oh Meredith such sad news. So glad you and your sister spent precious time with your father. I hope we can all have such love surround us. sending you all lots of hugs.

Grammy Braxton said...

Dear Meredith, I am so very sorry for your loss. II know how hard it is and I am so glad you have Little Buddy to help you. Please know you are in my thoughts. Sending you love and hugs.
Sharon

Betsy said...

Meredith. Just Meredith. I wish I could be there with a huge hug. To remind you to breathe. And just let you know how much I love you, my friend. Isn't it amazing what this blog world does? We laugh together. We play and craft together. And we cry together. And even though we may never meet in "real" life, we still care and our heart hurts for one another. May God give you the peace that only He can give you. I'm here if you need me my friend.
Blessings,
Betsy

Rose said...

So very sorry; peace be with you.

Gracie Saylor said...

Dear Meredith,
This morning I sent you a note via snail mail. You and your family have especially been in my thoughts since I read Claudia's blog posts about your Dad's illness and death. I am so glad you and Claudia were able to be with him during this time of transition... and that you were able to play pirates. In the midst of all that must be tended to I am praying that you and yours rest as much as possible...and ask for those around you to help you in specific tasks. Sending you more hugs. xx

kathy b said...

BIg big hugs to you Meredith and to your sister. Im so glad your father got to know Lil Buddy. Rest. Feel his peace. Take help from friends! much love

Becky L. said...

Oh, Meredith, sorry for the loss of your dad. It's hard times to lose a parent. A big hug and prayers for you and your family in this time. So thankful your sister was able to be with you as well. Sisters are great support. My sis came down to help me clean out mom's room at the care home the day after she died over a year ago. No fun but the memories linger of our loved ones. God be with you and may you feel His presence as you grieve. Hugs to your little pirate Buddy! He's adorable! xxxxx

Dee said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I'm glad you had time with him .......that is SO important! Hugs to you and Claudia. I hope that sweet memories help and knowing that he is always just a thought away.

Little Buddy is an adorable Gasparilla pirate and I see he found a beautiful wench to help him trick-or-treat.

Teresa Hennes said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. To have both parents leave in such a short time is awful! It is so hard to know what to say at times like this. But know that you are in my prayers and thoughts for strength and peace. Big hug to you and please give another one to Claudia. I am so glad that she had been down to Florida lately and got to see him before this happened.
Mr Z is getting so big! He certainly will not want to give up his pirate costume in the near future!!! He sure makes a great looking pirate.

Chris said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. There isn't much more I can say that hasn't already been said in the beautiful heartfelt comments above. Your dad was truly blessed to have such a kind loving compassionate daughter. In the end that's all that really matters, to know you have been loved. He was blessed to have you by his side not only in his final days but in the last years of his life.
Ahoy there matey! Lil buddy makes a most fearsome yet totally adorable pirate! Life does go on and it seems a bit surreal after a death. Time and life seem different somehow. Thinking of you lots. Keep well my friend. Chris

linda said...

Dear Meredith I had no idea, I'm so sorry for your loss but so glad that you and Claudia were there with your father at the end and able to say your goodbyes. Little Buddy is a Godsend and will help you to heal he looks great in his Pirate costume and I bet he had a lovely time at his class celebration. Thinking of you Meredith and sending you hugs and lots of love. xxxx

Stins said...

Oh sweet Meredith, I am so sorry for your loss...
Very special though that you were able to be there with him until he passed away.
Little buddy is such a sweet little pirate, love the look on his face, what a dear boy he is!
I am sending you big hugs, and a lot of comfort and warmth,
Mirjam.

Delia West said...

Dear Meredith, I am so very sorry to hear of you fathers passing I really am. I didn't know you had a sister or that she wrote her on blog so wasn't aware what a difficult time you were both facing. I am so glad you were all able to spend those precious hours with your father which will help you so much in the longer term. Bless your little man for being such a cute inspiration to you all. Big hugs to you and your family. Dee x

gaia said...

I am so sorry for our loss.May he rest in peace...
Hugs,
Gaia.

kathyinozarks said...

I just learned of this as well-sending hugs, prayers and healing thoughts for you and your family
Kathy

Gillian said...

I'm very sorry to hear about your dad. It's so good that you and Claudia could spend time with him.

Lynne said...

Oh Meredith my heart goes out to you and your family. You have really had a tough year. Thank goodness for Little Buddy. What a sweetheart he is and such an adorable Pirate!! Hang in there.
Lynne xxxx

Lilbitbrit said...

Sorry to hear that your dad died, but glad that you were able to share that time with him. Also that Claudia was with you and could sit and cry, talk and reminisce. Little Buddy keeps you smiling. Know that I am thinking of you, you are such a caring person.

Christy

EMMA said...

Sorry to hear of your loss.
Take care, hugs to all
Emma.

Crafty in the Med said...

Awww Meredith so very sorry to hear of your loss!!
So agree with you I was alone with my mother during her last moments ...she squeezed my hand and went on her way. She passed away in her sleep and I so wish for the same because that was so beautiful. Dear friend what can I say but my heart goes out to you in these sad moments.

Amanda xx

Nana Go-Go said...

Be brave, Dear Heart. x Your little pirate has taken a stretch. Sweet little thing he is. x

Nancy Blue Moon said...

Bless your sweet heart Meredith..I wish you peace in your heart...I wrote a bit on Claudia's blog...those words are meant for you too..Little Buddy is about the cutest pirate I have ever seen...Bless whatever powers that brought the two of you together...P.S....Claudia is a pretty cool pirate too...Take care...

Jennifer said...

I'm so very sorry, Meredith. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. You're doing the right thing by focusing on the positive parts of life right now. Little Buddy looks adorable and I'm so happy he had a fun Halloween. Take care, my friend.

Chris K in Wisconsin said...

So sorry for your loss, Meredith. I follow Claudia as well, and last week when there was a day she didn't post, I think most of us knew what had taken place. I am so happy she is able to be with you, and was with you and your Dad at his passing. I believe she said on her post today that she would be staying through Saturday with you. What wonderful news that is. There is so much for those of us left behind to take care of, it is a blessing to have someone to share those duties with as they must be handled pretty promptly.
I am sure Little Buddy keeps everyone tethered to the everyday pieces of living we must also contend with. He is a sweetie pie.
Take care of yourselves and know how many are praying for you and your families.

Judy S. said...

So sorry, Meredith, to learn of your dad's passing. It's wonderful that you and your sister can be together at this time. Please know that I'm thinking of you and your family, sending lots of good thoughts. Take care. Hugs, too.

Babajeza said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Meredith. What a blessing to have family around in these days. All the best and lots of hugs, Regula

Anita said...

Beaming you hugs and kisses at this sad time. Having
family around gives us strength and helps us through.
Hugs, Anita.

handmade by amalia said...

I am so very sorry for your loss, dear Meredith. A big hug and a kiss.
Amalia
xo

Tammy@T's Daily Treasures said...

It certainly does help ease the pain when you have a little pirate around who needs your full attention. I'm so glad that you and Claudia were able to be together those last days with your dad. My FIL passed away for the same reasons -- his blood had become too thin because of the medicine and aspirin that he was taking. I know there's much to take care of right now, so the fact that you posted at all is pretty special. Take care! Hugs to all, Tammy

Sweet Posy Dreams said...

Just saw this post. So sorry, Meredith, for your loss. So glad you and your sister could be with your father at the end.

The pirate costume is fabulous.

Taciana Simmons said...

I'm so, so very sorry to hear about the loss of you father my dear Meredith. I really believe we do have a higher connexion because I haven't been able to blog or get here very much to post , but I have been thinking about you the whole week. So today I decided I would come back and check my "dear friend" blogs and here I'm... I just wish I could be the re to hug you and to let you know how much I care and how I wish I could help youninnoerson. Because of the miles that separate us u cannot be there I. Person but my soul and my heart are here with you my dear friend. I know how hard it is to loose your father, but know he is always, always going to be with you ... Just look in the mirror and you will see him. Lots of love and my deepest sympathy my dearest friend. 🌹🌹🌹

Pradeepa said...

I'm very sorry for your loss, Meredith. I just read your post and I'm glad that you and your sister were with your dad at his last hours. Little Buddy looks very cute in his pirate costume! Take care.

mamasmercantile said...

I am just catching up and was so sorry for your loss. Please know that you and your family are in my prayers. Take care.

Liz said...

Meredith, I'm just now catching up with blog reading and read your post. I am sorry for the loss of your father. It's nice to have a supportive sister during difficult times. They really do make it easier. When my grandfather (who was really like a father) passed, my sister and I had each other. I never felt alone through the whole process and with settling the estate and all.

Little Buddy is cute in his pirate costume. Ireland was a pirate too.
Liz

Lady Bird said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. That's terrible when a close person passes away...

Susanne said...

I can truly empathize with you on this because my mother passed away the end of October. I have not posted on my blog either, not because of avoiding it, but because for lack of time. I am right now making a feeble attempt to read some blogs and while back-tracking saw where you mentioned going through your father's stuff, finding treasures and memories. I knew right off that he must have passed away and I'm so sorry I was not quicker to offer my support and condolences. We do what we can, family comes first, always. Now the holidays are right upon us so there will be more to keep us busy.

Mrs. Micawber said...

Mere - I'm so very, very sorry. Have been mostly away from Blogland for the last few weeks and missed your sad news.

I'm so glad you and your sister had that precious time with your Dad before he went. When my mom died a few years ago, I was able to be with her for all but a few hours of her last days. It was exhausting but I would never give up that special time with her.

It's such a busy, difficult business to clear up after the death of a parent. So many details, so many loose ends, so much STUFF to wade through. Try not to rush it. Hang in there and take care of yourself and your back.

Sending you a big (and very gentle) hug, dear Mere!