Sunday, November 8, 2015

Easing back in........

  My Father and his Father during WWII.

I am trying to ease back into time on this blog of mine.  It has not been easy to find the time I need to be here.  I have been so busy sorting my parents things with my sister Claudia when I have not been working, there has been little time for anything else.  Thank God for my sister, she has been a blessing for me in every sense of the word.  She stayed five extra days because, well to be honest I was losing it.  She needed to be here for me, but also for herself.  We needed to be together as we sorted through years and years of papers, photos, cards and items that meant so much to my parents.  The thing is you can't keep everything that meant something to them, you have to throw things out, or send them onto a new home.


My dinning room table has been overloaded day after day with new items to go through.  Now the essential paperwork has dwindled down to this pile.  We have mailed off packages of photos to my brother's children of when they were little, and many of their Dad as a baby or little boy.  Paintings that my Dad did in later years to a cousin and those same nieces and nephews.  We even shipped a painting and photos to my sister, who doesn't deserve a thing, but her children do.  Claudia and I are trying to rise above all that she has done, or rather did not do to help my parents.  Her children deserve something their Grandfather made even if one of them has never met him and my sister has not even seen her parents in 14 years.


There were plants on my parents screened in porch that have been neglected for years.  They are finding a new home at my house with new pots and soil.  


We found things I had made for my Mother still in the boxes I used to wrap them.  I think I will be gathering this shawl and the one I made my MIL, with other scarves, and donating them to the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation where they are in desperate need of any item to keep warm.  It would be a nice tribute to two very important women in my life.


This sleepy little boy was watching me replant plants early this morning.  He is missing his Aunt Claudie who left late yesterday.  Who else is going to  be there at his beck and call to play?


Someone else is missing her too (besides me that is)!  Isn't this the most pathetic face you have ever seen?  Maxie was at the bottom of the stairs waiting for her to come down this morning.  

There is still much to do to pack up my parents place, so my visits here and to see all of you will be limited for a while longer.  I hate that, but it is the reality of my life as I try to add all these other tasks to my already overloaded schedule.  Thank God for Claudia's help or I would never be as far along as I am, she was amazing.
  
I wanted to thank you all for your kindness, your prayers, your loving comments, your cards and your emails.  Every single thought, prayer and word has meant so much to me.  I can't reply back, I just can't because I kind of get a little overwhelmed and start to tear up.  Please know I am so, so grateful for all of you.  For taking the time to write those kind words and for thinking of me and my whole family during this tough time.  You are the best.  I hope to be back in full force soon.

Take care.

43 comments:

kristieinbc said...

It was very thoughtful of you to check in and give us an update. Sorting through your parents' belongings is such a difficult thing. I remember breaking down when my mom brought out the US State quarters my dad had been collecting. I had no attachment to the coins, but the minute I saw them I could just picture my dad sitting at the table, showing me the latest ones he had added. Even writing it out now still brings tears to my eyes, over four years later. I'm so glad your sister decided to stay for a few extra days. I know you said you needed her, but I strongly suspect she also needed you too. Hugs...

20 North Ora said...

Meredith - Don't worry about commenting or anything else. Just do what you have to do and give yourself more time to grieve.

So glad you and Claudia had that time together. Add in Little Buddy and Max and it made the time extra special.

Take care.

Judy



wenhkc said...

I have been reading your and Claudia's posts about your Dad's death. You two are remarkable, strong, capable, generous. You are fortunate to have each other, and I totally understand how Claudia's nephews, to include the furry one, and you are missing her.

Linda @ A La Carte said...

I know you are going to miss Claudia so very much. This is such a hard time but know you have so much love and prayers that will continue to come your way. I wish I could help you with this. Big hugs sweet friend,
Linda

Ann said...

What a blessing for you and Claudia to be together during this difficult time. I pray that you will find the comfort and peace that your heart is seeking and that the memories of your Dad will bring precious healing to your heart.

ellen said...

Such hard times, dear one. Do take time to take care of yourself. We will all be here sending you love and good thoughts for comfort. Much love, Ellen.

Babajeza said...

Just be kind to yourself. This helps! Hugs, Regula

busybusybeejay said...

You take care of yourself.You sound wrung out.How lovely to have a sister like Claudia.Lucky you.i always wished I had a sister.

Tammy@T's Daily Treasures said...

You take all the time you need. I'm glad Claudia was able to stay longer. I can remember going through my in-laws belongings after they were both gone. Not easy to do at all. That Max sure does look like someone deflated him. :) I know he and Little B were a great distraction for you and Claudia in the midst of your sorrow. Hugs and blessings, Tammy

Shirley said...

Good Morning, I have tried to catch up with friends and there never seems to be enough time. I can relate to what you are going through and sending you hugs and prayers for you and your family. I cried when I read your post this morning. Your little guy is so adorable and I know that he will help you through this time of sorrow. Just know that they are in heaven looking down on you. Take care of yourself. Many hugs and Prayers from Your Missouri friend Shirley.

Teresa Hennes said...

Take your time. We will be waiting for you with open arms. Hugs, teresa

Primroses Attic said...

Meredith with all that you and your sister have to do I appreciate that you have blogged at all. So sweet that you have sent photos etc off to your family. Take care give that little boy a big hug and your big furbaby as well.
Rosezeeta

Cheryl mylittlepieceofengland said...

Its good to hear how things are for you. you and your sister seem to have a wonderful relationship. Take it a day at a time xx

Teresa Kasner said...

Dear Claudia, thank you for taking the time to check in with us. When I saw your Dad's photo I was struck with how much like him you look. A handsome man. I am so very glad that Claudia stayed on to spend more time with you and help you sort through things. I was pleased to see that you were able to bring home some plants from their house.. those will bring you joy as you watch them grow and thrive under your care. I have my Mom's Christmas cactus and just love it when it blooms. And listen.. don't you worry one whit about your friends out here.. we know you're busy and overwhelmed and sad. We're here for you and will wait for you to have time to say hello to us here and there. Take care of yourself my dear.. take some time.. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

Jo said...

You are the best Meredith, did you know that? Jo x

CJ said...

Meredith, I'm so glad you've had Claudia with you for a while. How nice that your father's painting have been distributed. I have some of my partner's late father's paintings and they are so very personal and evocative of him. Something he spent hours on, something created from his head. And now we have some here for us and the children. And I love that you've taken the plants in as well, I know they will be things that you treasure. I know how hard it must be at the moment, I'm sending you hugs. Dear Little Buddy and Maxie are so adorable. I'm glad you have them to cheer you a little. CJ xx

Christina said...

Take all the time you need Meredith. Sending some more hugs your way. Cxx

kathy b said...

Hugs and more hugs. Wishing you peaceful rest when it comes to you at night after these long emotional days . WE'll be here in blogland when ever you feel like it!

Danette Bartelmay said...

You take all the time you need and take good care of yourself.
I'm so thankful Claudia was able to stay longer with you.
The blessing of a really good sister...
I know your entire household misses her.
I love the pictures.
All of them.
I am continuing in prayer for you Dear Friend,
Danette

gigi knits said...

Thoughts and prayers to you. I know how hard it can be to lose a loved one.
Don't go down to your sisters level she is the one who is missing and will someday be very sorry for
Not being apart of her Dad's life.
Mom's & Dad's have so much love to give their family.

Becky L. said...

Thanks for letting us know how you are doing. I'm crying now as it's hard not to remember when my mom died and what my sis and I went through as we divided things and tossed. Now it's on the a parent that's on the east coast. Love and hugs and prayers each day for you and your family. Sisters can be the best ever in these times. Hugs! Your friends will still be here, waiting in the wings. xxx

Amy at love made my home said...

I know that you will work everything out as and when it is meant to be. Still thinking of you. Hugs to you. xx

Lilbitbrit said...

Loss of a loved one takes time to heal. Take that time it is part of healing. Love the photo of your dad with his dad.

Dee said...

I'm so glad you sister was able to stay an extended amount of time with you. Sometimes sisters are the only ones who really understand the ups and downs of the day when cleaning out.

I know I was glad MINE was here when Mom passed. We even got a few laughs out of my mom's quirky ways.

Keeping you in my thoughts.

Betsy said...

Meredith, it was sweet of you to stop in and say hello to all of us, but we know you have so much happening right now. We'll be right here when you have more time and can come visit. I love that you're donating to Pine Ridge. Did you know I send lots of things there too? They need absolutely everything. Thank you. Love the picture of Max. He looks like you all must feel. I'm so glad Claudia was able to stay so long. You both needed each other and I'm glad you have one another to lean on. Love you Meredith and please know I pray for you, Claudia and your families every day.
Blessings always my sweet friend,
Betsy

mynestofyarnandbuttons said...

Thinking of you Meredith and sending love and hugs. Be kind to yourself and take all the time you need to heal.
xoRobin

reclaimed dining table said...

Thanks for sharing your journey! I pray that you will find the comfort and peace that your heart is seeking. Take care always.

Wainwright and Wright.Co said...

What a super photo of your dad and grandad! You do look like your dad. It is very hard sorting through loved ones possessions and making decisions about what to keep, what to give who.. I'm glad you sister has been such a support to you and you to her. Give yourself time and space to come to terms with life's changes. Thinking of you and your family
Caz xx

Janet said...

Dear Meredith, It has been so heart-warming to read how you and Claudia have been blessings to each other at this difficult time. It must be such a comfort to you both to share such a deep and loving bond. Thinking of you all.
Best wishes, Janet

Stins said...

You are so sweet to think of blogging even when you feel so terribly sad.
You and your sister are so strong together though! Give yourself time....
Big hugs, Mirjam.

Vicki Boster said...

Meredith-- it's a bittersweet thing to sort through all of your parents belongings-- I know all to well the flood of memories that comes with that task. Prayers for you as you do the things that must be done.
Love
Vicki

Andrea Ostapovitch said...

I was very pleased to see a blog post from you this morning even if it was to hear that the struggle continues. I know what it feels like and how many tears are being shed. Big, warm hugs to you.

Judy S. said...

Sending lots of hugs your way, Meredith! So glad you and your sister are tackling this sad task together. Take care.

Caffeine Girl said...

There is so much involved in wrapping up the loose ends of a life. How lucky your father is to have your sister and, especially, you to carry out these duties so lovingly. Hang in there, take lots of breaks, be good to yourself.

I am always perplexed by people who cut themselves off from their families of origin. Your sister is missing out on so much. There is hole in her that she may not even know is there.

Nana Go-Go said...

Thinkin' 'bout ya x Don't even attempt to answer all these comments! Everyone will understand. Take your own sweet time and we'll all be here waiting for you. Kiss,Kiss. xx

Lynne said...

Take your time, we will be here when you're ready.
Lynne xxx

Gracie Saylor said...

Thanks so much for checking in, Meredith. I too am so glad Claudia was able to stay longer. Having gone through similar tasks with my sisters and our parents belongings, I appreciate what you are going through now. Please take as much time off from your job as you can, and rest as much as possible, and ask for help. I can imagine that Little Buddy and Max are missing Claudia as well... I am so sorry for those 14 years of broken relationships and I am cheering on your efforts to express love to those you can. Sending more love and hugs, and wishing I could be of more practical help. xx

Géraldine B. said...

Don't worry for us and please take your time with your relatives. Take care too !

Karen said...

Thank you for checking in with us, Meredith. There is so much involved when these life transitions occur, it's no wonder you and Claudia are feeling spent. Lots of prayers are with you; take in all the good thoughts coming your way. You have given so much to all your blogging friends over the years, let us just pray for you and don't feel you need to reply. Hugs to you.

Delia West said...

There is no rush to be back we will all be here for you when you need us. Take lots of care, hugs dee x

Sweet Posy Dreams said...

Max looks adorable. Going through everything is quite a job. Have not had to do it for parents yet, but we went through my husband's uncle's house (which still had some of his mother's things as well). In your case, there must be so many memories tied to everything. Take care of yourself, too, Meredith.

elns said...

Oh my goodness, where I have I been? I'm so so very sorry for your loss. I"m glad you had that time of appreciation with your father and sister. I'm glad she was there for both of you (all of you really) to begin the process of putting the "things" away. Sending you all my very best in such tough times.

Valentina Olden Patterns said...

It's so nice to read from you again, Meredith... Take your time to heal, don't hurry, and I'm sure you'll manage to feel good again... xx