Sometimes I feel like a broken record with my work has been crazy, I am tired, it has been a tough week routine, again and again. You all must be getting so tired of me, but the one thing I am is truthful and real, so here it goes again. Work has been crazy, I am tired and that about sums up my week. I have had a particularity difficult work week with a new very, very complex patient, and a patient I have had for over two years being pulled from her wonderful adoptive home to be because her older brother is a harm to himself and his younger sisters. The family did not want the older child in their home so they are pulling all the kids. I don't agree and tried to make my thoughts known, but they fell on deaf ears. This is all to keep the siblings together even though they have never been together until two weeks ago. One child's psychological needs should not come before another child's stability, but what do I know. This has been weighing on my mind all week and making me feel very sick to my stomach. As of tomorrow this little girl will be placed in yet another foster home and I might not get to see her anymore. So there you go, tired and crazy.
There has been a finish here, not one I am in love with but a finish all the same.
This is the V-Stitch Poncho by Helena LB. I tried this with my silk yarn if you recall and it was a disaster. Maybe I should have let it go but I became a bit obsessed with making it. You know me I have to make the pattern work out even if I will never wear the finished item.
I used a size J hook and chained 104 stitches to make the neckline rather than the 88 as per the pattern. I have no idea how Helena, the designer, had a wide enough neckline with 88 stitches, I had to tweak the stitch count all along, and for some reason I had a tough time making my stitch markers divide the project into four equal portions. That was entirely my fault, not the patterns, apparently I have lost the ability to count evenly.
The original pattern was made with 100% acrylic yarn. I am not a fan of acrylic yarn and I apologize to all of you who are. Since it did not work well with the silk I decided to make a trip to Michael's for some acrylic yarn with a long color repeat. This Red Heart Unforgettable fit the bill so I purchased 3 skeins with a coupon. I think the colors of the yarn work well but I am not happy with the feel of the yarn. It feels a bit softer after a quick steam blocking, yup I even use steam with acrylic, but I would not advise any one to do the same, your hard work might just melt. I think this might be a nice item to throw on during winter when the mornings are chilly, but now it is 90 degrees out so I will just let Caroline my dress form wear it for a while. She doesn't care if it is hot or cold out.
I love preschool. The teachers are so creative. How about this Mother's Day present from Little Buddy. It makes me smile. It came with a dried up little dead plant in it, I had to laugh at that one. Here you go Mom, a dead plant for Mother's Day! The paper flowers make me smile and look at that face! I could eat him up!
Speaking of flowers, I had surprise mums blossoming from a plant I thought I had pulled out. It is not mum season, they usually grow in the Fall so it was fun to see this bit of white catching my eye when I went out with Max this morning.
My little irises are blooming, too. They are tiny but so pretty when you get up close to them. Flowers are so amazing in their beauty, when you look close there are all sorts of colors and designs you can't see from far away, each one is just a little bit different.
I am wishing you all a good weekend, hope you are getting time to relax and regroup before another busy week.
34 comments:
Work can give us such joy or utterly wear us out. So hard when we're not listened to.
Full time work with a family is always a challenge I think, but your work has the emotional factor involved. You do wonder how decisions are made, I totally agree with you. I do like your pancho, but know what you mean about acrylic. You have more patience to work with a pattern than I do, greater ability. Have a good weekend.
That is so sad about your young client. Sometimes I wonder about the thought processes of people in charge of groups of children. :::sigh::: It just seems to get worse and worse with sometimes the worst element being the one that is chosen. :-(
Your iris photo is beautiful. We have those at our house too and I just love them. They are faithful bloomers.
Dear Meredith, I am sorry for the distressing part of your week. It is so upsetting to not be able to see the results that seem would be most positive, but good for you in doing your best to bring about the most positive outcome for the children involved! I pray for God's best outcome for them. Little Buddy's gift to you made me smile, too. Your latest stitching turned out beautifully to me. Since starting to make preemie blankets I am learning more about acrylic yarn [the NICU nurses yarn of choice]. I am surprised at the difference of softness from brand to brand. I think the softest acrylic I have found so far is Deborah Norville. It was in the high 80s here yesterday and today is 56 and raining! Your flowers are so pretty! I want to go see if our Peonies are opened up yet. Wishing you a happy weekend and a positive work week ahead xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
It is so wonderful to feel how concerned you are about these foster children and their welfare. You hear so many horror stories about kid being neglected and no one ever checking on them. thank you for your loving spirit.
Love LB Mother's day gift. How special!
Have a great weekend.
Judy
Caroline looks quite warm and cozy in that pretty poncho.. I like the colors and the striping of it. I think it's gorgeous! That's a cute little gift from LB from school. I still have a painting Travis did with hearts and he wrote "Happy Mother's Day" and signed his name with big red hearts all over it. He was about 1st grade or so. I hope your weekend is relaxing.. all I'm doing is hanging out trying to get over my cough. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)
I'm not a fan of acrylic, either, but find hand knit and crocheted items made with it can go in the washer and dryer, which fluffs up the yarn a bit. My favorite afghan is acrylic, in fact. Happy (belated) Mother's Day!
Oh, Meredith...the work you do would put me under, emotionally. With being a HSP (Highly Sensitive Person), I could not handle situations like you experience. Bless you for what you do! Your poncho is gorgeous. I hope you get a chance for some R&R this weekend!
Oh, what a sad story. I can totally relate to your anguish because I had a rough week also with a former student that took his life on Thursday. Even though it's been 10 long years since he was in my first grade class I felt it like a stab in the heart. I loved that sweet kid and thought about him often. That a 16 year old would be in so much pain without anyone having a clue has been keeping me up nights. Little Buddies gift made me think of how precious children are at that age and how worrisome it is that life can become such a burden so quickly these days.
That poncho looks great btw. That yarn seemed like it knew exactly what it was supposed to do!
Sad to hear about your week and no wonder you're tired and frustrated. It always is frustrating when it comes to placing children or the issues that come with your line of work. Hooray for knitting and crocheting to help the body, soul and mind. Lovely poncho, great colours.
I have a feeling you do know what you are talking about which is even more anguishing. I would be a wreck if I had to do your work. Heck, I knew a cat for 27 hours and bawled my eyes out half the day when I had to surrender it to the shelter. Imagine if children were involved. Some days are more trying than others and the weekends are meant for relaxing so I hope that you are finding time for that. I'm not picky about yarn. If I like it, I buy it and make something with it. Your poncho looks great to me. And the fact that you are able to make big projects with all your obligations is pretty darn amazing. Take care, Tammy
Sorry for the hard week. Hoping things will get better. Just looking at Little Buddy makes me smile also.
hugs,
Linda
Hi Meredith, I am back in the land of the living and have been scrolling through your lovely work and musings - the shawl, weaving and beach fun - all beautiful. Your work sounds tough, it is the sort of job that is utterly satisfying or totally devastating. I would feel the same too if i had to bring that sort of situation home in my head and when I taught children I bought some of their problems home in my own heart, it is because we are nice people but it doesn't make it any easier to bear. Jo x
Way to hang in there on the poncho and at work. The poncho looks great from here, maybe it will be a nice surprise when you pull it from the closet next year! Your job sounds both rewarding and frustrating at times. My daughter is an elementary school teacher, and the stories she tells about some of the kids and their families are heartbreaking. I don't know how you do it. Hope you can catch your breath this weekend!
It must be so hard when you come across situations such as this in your job. I can only think that those who make the decisions are far attached from this family and don't know the children personally, it would be heartbreaking to pass this little girl on to another family otherwise, surely. I do hope that things work out for her and that you are able to continue to see her. The poncho is really lovely and I'm sure you'll be thankful of it when the cooler weather arrives.
Your work must be so difficult in times like this. I would be heartsick! It takes a special kind of person to do the work you do, and you are just such a person. Hang in there!
I love the poncho! So pretty! And Little Buddy's Mother's Day gift to you. So sweet.
Thank you Meredith, for your kind words on my blog post. You are a doll.
xo Kris
I have so much respect for you and those who work with children. It must pull at your heartstrings a lot, and that's why you're so good at what you do. I like the colors in the poncho. Happy Belated Mother's Day to you!
Sorry you've had a rough week, work sounds heartbreaking, it's a lot for you to have to deal with. I do so hope that this week is easier for you, although it sounds as if it may be hard for a while. You're in my thoughts Meredith. The Mother's Day gift is adorable, absolutely adorable. No gifts quite as wonderful as those the little people make themselves while they're small. Hugs. CJ xx
I am not surprised that you are upset and exhausted and I feel with you for the little girl. We were in a situation where we were considered as adopters of two little girls from a group of three siblings in care (two more were with birth family). It was decided to split the three children up because the oldest brother needed an adoptive mum and dad to himself due to his complex needs and that it was in the children's best interest to live with separate families. It was a condition to maintain contact and ensure the siblings would see each other regularly. It didn't work out in the end. I understand that authorities try to place siblings in one family but this is not always in the children's best interest. Hope next week is less challenging. Little Buddy is a gem, such a happy wee man!
xx
Well Meredith, I have to say that I, for one, AM in love with your V - Stitch Poncho! I mean it! It's truly gorgeous. Like you, I DO NOT like acrylic. I have a preference for natural fibers or a blend with not much acrylic in it. I have however used this same yarn twice and I DO like it for the most part other than if you aren't careful it pulls apart easily while you are working with it. The colorways are beautiful and it's divinely soft though. Your flowers are lovely and of course I love Sweet Little Buddy's face peeking out of the flower pot :-)
Love to You,
Danette
Oh Meredith, my heart hurts for you because I know how you love all of the children in your care. I think you know that I took the CASA classes last winter to be a court appointed guardian for foster children. Well, here I am. Sworn in by the courts and everything, but I just can't do it. I can't take on a case after I sat through an entire week of hearings to see for myself exactly what happens to these children, and not just the two cases that they wants us to see. I saw how skewed the entire system is and normally it's NOT in the best interests of the children. Lawyers get involved and it seemed they just wanted a win, no matter who gets hurt in the process. My heart broke for the innocent children involved.
On a happier note, I think your new shawl is gorgeous. The photo of Little Buddy made me grin ear to ear. What a wonderful Mother's Day gift. Thank you for your sweet words on my blog about Alex leaving. It never gets any easier.
Blessings,
Betsy
Such a very sad situation with these children. I can truly see how hard your work is emotionally. I admire and applaud you and I think you do a great job keeping your head above water. I can't focus on anything at all when I have something nagging at me (not to trivialize your worries when I say that).
I really love the poncho. They are so popular now. I could see wearing this one in the fall with skinny jeans and ballet flats.
Your Mother's Day gift was so, so sweet! As if that little guy doesn't melt your heart enough!!
I hope you had time to kick back this weekend. You deserve it. :)
Jane
The shawl's colors are lovely. Sorry it didn't turn out the way you wanted it to. I don't like acrylic yarn neither. Sorry to hear about your client's story of leaving a home she enjoyed. That's got to hurt her heart immensely. I'm sure it's not easy on the adoptive parents either. Buddy's mother's day gift is adorable! I've been tired lately and hopefully get more sleep tonight as tomorrow starts a new work week for me. Hugs and have a blessed week, my friend!
We have a friend who has a "big family" foster home. He also tells stories about "his" children, that lack common sense. Mostly financial reasons lead to decisions the ones living and working with these children cannot understand. So sad! Have a relaxing weekend! Hugs, Regula
Dear Meredith,
I think the shawl is very nice.Mother's day was the ace of last week. Happy mother'S day to you too!
Hugs,
Gaia.
A sad and I am sure distressing outcome for the children involved, but all you can do is your best and give a professional opinion. I did some ponchos for my Grandaughters and threaded a tie through to tighten the neck as I had to make it larger to go over their heads. Great present from Little Buddy, as always he manages to make me smile. Take care.
Your work sounds so challenging, Meredith. You must have a very big heart to deal with the things you do in your work. I think I would tend to agree with your take on that foster family's situation. When I was growing up, my grandparents did PINS foster care for a few years and they had some kids like the oldest in that family, where just one child was making it difficult for the others to have a healthy placement situation. I can remember one boy who was one of six siblings and he just couldn't live with them and have everyone be happy and healthy. It was sad, but it was the right thing for them all to remove him and let the others stay together where they were. Foster care is such a complicated area. I really love your shawl. It think the colors are beautiful. I've been wanting to make a shawl for myself but I don't think I'm the delicate wrap type, one like this would be more suitable for me. You don't need to be sorry for not liking acrylic yarn. I don't love it myself but it's what I can afford, so I use it. If I had my way, I'd never use it, though. :) I hope you're having a good week so far, my friend.
Sorry you are having such a rubbish time at work, it really must be one of the hardest and at times most upsetting jobs there is. You are wonderful to do such great work and to do it so well and with such love as I know you do. I adore your mothers day gift from Buddy, that is just so cute!! Love your poncho too! Hugs!!!! xx
The poncho came out really well.
I know what you mean about feeling like a broken record. I have had the worst school year ever, so I try to limit my whining. But I could complain every day!
Mere, I know what it is like to get attached to your patients and worry for and about them. I will pray for the poor thing and hope you come to peace with it.
I LOVE your crochet shawl. Just love it.
My flowers are quiet right now. Between daffodils and columbine starting. My roses are not blooming yet. BUt my giant hosta are perfect and just emerged. No one has chewed on them yet!
Warblers migrating through.
Fezzik is at my side.
I almost had a plane landing shot to send to Lil Buddy but i Wasnt' quick enough!
Peace to you extra peace this week
so sad at work..hope things work out for the best..
love youre new creating, so lovely..Plant is so nice, its from your boy so its even more special..
have a better day tomorrow..
I can understand for the reasons you explain why you do not like the poncho, but in the photographs it looks exquisite
Onto work... there are no words for me to use that will make you feel better and I agree with your sentiments about how one's child's needs should not override another's. I am sorry for your pain in this situation but how lucky was that girl to have had you around for the time that she did. We need to trust there will be others who can look out for her too, sending love to you Meredith x
Oh, how frustrating!!!! And not at all in that poor child's best interests. I don't know how you even make it through days like that.
Hi Meredith, my thoughts about your work situation are echoes of everyone else's. My eldest was very challenging as a youngster due to special needs and it is heart wrenching enough trying to support one child without diminishing the needs of the other, but to take away the stability of a child is a great setback. I'm hoping and praying that the children's new foster home will be in the neighborhood so you can cross paths and somehow continue to support them even if it is being an adult who takes a genuine interest in their wellbeing and is able to listen to their ideas and hopes and dreams. Having shelter, food and education is one thing - having a regular adult in a child's life who is not a relative or guardian or teacher is another very important thing for children to feel valued and hopeful about the future.
Good on you for speaking up even if you feel it was ineffective. Don't let it discourage you from continuing to advocate for these children who need all the support they can get.
I hope you can revive with the help of little Buddy's cute antics and your craft. I like your poncho colours. Since a poncho is usually worn over other clothes you might find it quite warm and comfy to eat in spite of the acrylic. I have a love:hate relationship with acrylic. I've been working with silk mohair lately which is a privilege. Take care. I'll have you, LB and your young clients in my prayers. xxx
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