Sunday, November 20, 2016

Redefining normal........

Normalcy has not yet arrived at my door.  No matter how hard I try to work, rejoice in Little Buddy and do all the things I normally do I am still having a hard time regaining my footing.  I think my sense of normal has shifted greatly these past few weeks.  Instead of listening to fear and anger throughout the last year, I tried to listen to hope and a good future for all.  Now I find myself living in fear and that is becoming my new normal.  I am fighting that feeling, but it is ever present.  I find not watching the news and trying not to read it, is not helping.  When our highest level advisers, and those positioned to take our highest levels in the government have such hateful viewpoints on people of different religions, races and genders, well that is a thing to fear.  And the fact that these people are becoming, "normal.'  We are normalizing their viewpoints and beliefs, that is the scariest thing of all.  I find it hard to settle down and focus.  I find my heart racing and realize I have been thinking fearful thoughts.  What will happen to Little Buddy and all the other kids I work with that need special care, social security, Medicare, a potential Muslim Register.........the list goes on.  I know you come here for knitting, I have some of that too but I have to say I am being honest in my thoughts right now.  And this is who I am, if you are sick of me I wish you well as you move on from my blog.  Let me add that privatizing Medicare will be a disaster, I hope those of you who receive it will put up a big fight.  The privatization of Medicaid in my state has left so many very medically frail and challenged children with very little services.  Little Buddy for the moment is lucky, he is still young, but so many of the kids that come across my path, who desperately need therapy can't get it because they have been placed in a private Medicaid that does not pay for it.  These kids will suffer not only now but in the future as they get further and further behind their peers, many of whom will have permanent disabilities due to lack of intervention early on.  See the fear is ever present.




I started this scarf on Friday and finished it yesterday.  Super fast knit with super bulky yarn.  I used size 17 needles, let me say my wrists do not like working with this bulky yarn and big needles.   The yarn is Tahki Select Poppy from Tahki Stacy Charles.  This took two skeins of 43 yards each,  which has now has depleted my stash by a whopping 86 yards.  I did buy this yarn several months ago on sale at my local to me yarn store.  I bought it specifically for this purpose.  The fun thing about the yarn is you can move the flowers to where ever you want them.  You just keep pushing them down the yarn while knitting until you want to place one, sort of like knitting with beads.  I am not sure Mr 19's girlfriend will use it but I wanted to make her something anyway, she is lovely and has stuck with him through thick and thin.


Today I start on a cowl for Mr. 23's girlfriend for Christmas.  She is about to graduate this December along with Mr. 23.  I am hoping she will like a cowl to keep her warm on cold Ohio days.  She is a dear and I just adore her.  I will be using the Interrupted Cowl pattern by Heather Hill.  Wish me luck.


Because I am scattered and can't seem to settle down with my thoughts I also started a new sweater.  This is the yarn I frogged from my failed Flaum.  I love the yarn so wanted to get busy right away and make it into something else.  While emailing back an forth a while ago with Chris I mentioned a beautiful sweater I would like to make but could not find the pattern.  Chris is all knowledgeable about these things as she works in a yarn store and teaches knitting, dream job I know!  She found the pattern for me, the Easy 2 Way Wrap.  It is made from three different sized rectangles, sewn together.  You are supposed to be able to wear the sweater two different ways.  We will see if I can pull this one off.  Thank you again Chris for finding this pattern for me.  Simple garter stitch knitting, row after row, is exactly what I need right now.


Here is an action shot of Little Buddy and his brand new, "Chase Robot'" as he likes to call it.  My dear friend Georgette saw this in a thrift shop, in the original box that was beat up but had never been opened.  Apparently these are not being made anymore, Little Buddy was thrilled.  These two are  having quite an adventure this morning.  By the way soccer day number two was yesterday.  Little Buddy made it a whole 45 minutes before petering out.  Yes I did fix his breaks, so he was able to move backwards and did not have to pick up his walker to turn.  He did kick the ball a few times but mostly tried to pull the equipment cart and got a ride in the golf cart with the soccer organization manager and his helper Katie.  Katie who is a sophomore in high school, was so excited to be working with Little Buddy she brought her mom to meet him.  Now that is special.

43 comments:

Mac n' Janet said...

We are living in scary times, but I have faith that things will get better and all will not be lost. Congress will never allow for the privitazation of Medicare.
Buddy looks so happy, what a beautiful face.

Una said...

I'm not someone who says "everything will be ok". I would be shattered if the UK had elected a celebrity so out of touch with real life. But I still think that most of the world leaders will keep an eye on what is going on and try to calm things down.

Dee said...

I've made a couple of those Interrupted Cowls. While I enjoyed knitting them, I didn't enjoy wearing them. They were gifted.

I have another skein and I think I'm going to do a shorter version of the cowl and see how I like that.

Good luck ....it's a FUN yarn to knit up.

Claudia said...

Love what you had to say. We can never let this be the new normal. I am fearful, as well. So many people are.

Love your projects, sister.

And I love my little nephew. And all of you in the Morgan household!

xo
Claudia

Nance said...

We're already having Cold Ohio Days! After temps in the mid-70s on Friday, we have icy snow on the ground and winds gusting into the 40mph range. Sigh. Even though I knew "Indian Summer" couldn't last, this frigid weather is really a terrible letdown.

The cowl yarn is gorgeous and intriguing. Can't wait to see it in its finished product.

I share your feelings, Meredith, in everything as we hope for The Best but prepare for The Worst.

Babajeza said...

I hope that you can find your inner balance sooner than later. Hopefully, there are people around you who cheer you up and give you hope. Life is hard if we loose hope. I also wish that garter stitch helps. The flower scarf is lovely. What a brilliant idea. Did you make the flowers before you started knitting the scarf? Take care. Regula

Araignee said...

The new normal for me is to check my Twitter feed at all hours to see what the newest outrage is floating around the internet. I can't seem to right myself either.
Love that scarf! I can't knit or do any quiet things right now. I've got to keep moving.

busybusybeejay said...

you are so blessed with your children.Your boys seem to have great girlfriends who care for them.You have SUPER Little Buddy.Enjoy the present,treasure each moment.The country and the World will sort out Mr T....p.I did hear a rumour that he was just doing this to make a point and may actually climb down fairly soon.Fingers crossed.Love all your knitting.Barbarax

CJ said...

Katie sounds lovely, I'm glad Little Buddy has some soccer time, even if he prefers to do other things. I completely understand your need to watch less news. I cut way, way back after the EU Referendum for quite a while, it was utterly overwhelming. Take a break from the media if you can. Hearing all the details repeated ad nauseum just makes it all feel even worse. I'm so sorry that it all looks so grim for those who need Medicare. The vulnerable should be looked after, come what may, there is no excuse not to in our wealthy western society where so many have so much. I really hope things don't turn out as badly as anticipated.

Fantastic yarn for the cowl, I shall look forward to seeing what it looks like when it's knitted up. Wishing you a good week Meredith despite it all. CJ xx

Teresa Kasner said...

Meredith.. I want you to know that I come here for the authentic YOU.. that includes your joys along with your fears and thoughts. So, please keep on sharing your real self.. I will try to do the same. Remember.. bad things happen when good people ignore it. :-) I'm shocked and amazed at each new appointment by "him". Each one seems to be the absolute last one on earth that should be in charge of anything. Each choice he makes is like a slap in the face to our country.. and the world, really. I am trying not to feel we are doomed.

You're such a champion on those two scarves for your boys GFs. And Little Buddy and his new toy.. pure joy. I hope you have a lovely day today. We just found an old Harry Potter on the tube that we haven't seen.. and I have some crocheting to do..

((hugs)), Teresa :-)

Jo said...

Everything's so up in the air at the moment, let's hope it all settles down soon as I think there are many people living in fear just now. What a fun scarf, I'm sure your son's girlfriend will love it. Glad the football went well and that Little Buddy managed to stick it out so long, I bet he slept well that night.

The Well Fed Wheel said...

I applaud you for keeping it real on your blog. There's nothing normal or peaceful about what is happening in this country right now and I join you in your fears. I'm so worried for the rights of so many and the last thing we need is for people to keep quiet about it. We need to speak up and speak out. I also agree that garter stitch is probably the go to stitch for these uncertain times. ;-) I'm curently working with plain stocking stitch....can't focus on anything more complicated either but seeing Little Buddy at play gives me joy.

Jo said...

That soccer coach sounds lie a darling, glad he is settling in with that. Sending you love not fear. Jo x

rue said...

My feelings a few months after Brexit is that like it or not normal life does creep back back but for me it did take time, be kind to yourself until it does. I have changed though, I have gone from taking the liberal view as the normal one that no longer needed fighting for to understanding I was wrong and I will have to fight for what I grew up taking for granted. I have been actively politically engaged since Brexit and will never assume that my views are the norm again. I didn't have to fight for basic rights and took them for granted but I will never do that again. I guess if other younger people feel the same these messes can be sorted out.

Maureen said...

Hugs Meredith. This has been a very scary month. The things I see on Facebook from people that I think should know better upsets me (and these are from Canadians who i know lived through tough times).I have to keep the hope that things will get better.
Hugs again.
Maureen

Gracie Saylor said...

Thank you for sharing your life as you are, Meredith. I am sorry for contributing in any way to the fears you are processing now and I hope you will forgive me. I also appreciate your viewpoint which is helping me to sort through my perspective and look for ways that I can constructively live...I have hardly done any stitching lately and admire your latest projects. Yay for Little Buddy's fun and progress! xx



Judy S. said...

Loved seeing that scarf as I just unearthed a skein of the same yarn, only in brown. Guess it'll be a hat. I will be anxious to see your Interrupted! What color is that which you are using? It's very pretty! I agree that these are scary times, but I sure hope that we can unite and keep you know who's view of normal from happening somehow. Hugs to you and that cute little LB

Becky L. said...

Your projects always inspire me to do my projects, even if it's not knitting which I need to do.Next year is coming! Buddy is ever happy to be with you. I am praying the needs of the handicapped will still receive it. I think that is wrong and hopefully what you fear won't happen. We'll just wait and see what is going to happen. Praying for you and our country. You're my friend and no I'm not leaving. Find some joy in your day my friend! Hugs!

Pradeepa said...

I can only hope that what you fear wouldn't happen. The scarf is lovely and I love the yarn for the cowl.

kathy b said...

Big hugs dear one. My own sister is even more fearful than i and im worried about her. Lil buddy and his joyful toy is a great sight. Your gift knitting is lovely.

Teresa Hennes said...

This is such a hard time for our country. I don't know what to think anymore. Scary to say the least! I think he is trying to destroy us and the country we love. Not to leave out how he is going to make it so hard on people who need Medicare, ect. Why is always the young and older people who fall between the cracks? My sister works with kids with disabilities and if they don't get the care they need when they young it makes it awful for them. One of the caregivers that mom had had to really fight for rights for her son (he is now in his 30's).. She had gotten things going for other kids with disabilities also. She is only 4'11" and 80+ pounds, but don't tell her no when it comes to fairness for all kids.
Mr 19 year olds GF should love the scarf. She can wear it with anything.
Little Buddy is so cute with his new toy. But then when isn't he cute! Hugs, Teresa

Tammy@T's Daily Treasures said...

I hear you Meredith. Don't understand how anyone can feel optimistic with the election or the recent cabinet appointments. Certainly isn't shaping up to be a very tolerant or compassionate group. The flower yarn is very interesting. Haven't seen anything like it before. All your projects are wonderful. It's good to focus on something positive. Hugs and blessings, Tammy

mamasmercantile said...

Once again sending you a hug from across the ocean, hope it helps knowing that we care. It was a joy to see little Buddy with his new pup I know another little boy who would love that. As always beautiful knitting, great gifts for the beautiful women in your son's lives. Take care.

Janet said...

That flower scarf is beautiful. Knitting with bulky yarn is hard going but at least it knits up quickly. I'm sending love to you all.

gigi knits said...

I thought I was the only one living with this feeling of panic in my stomach all the time.
We don't need all the hate at is spilling from this man an the ones around him.
I can not even bring myself to mention him as president of Beautiful American.or watch him on TV.
I was raised in the 40s & 50s we Do NOT need to go backwards
Little buddy is so lucky to have you to fight for him & his rights to the same care as the privileged !!
Have a peaceful an Happy Thanksgiving ..
Your knitting is beatufil !

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Oh Mere I hear your fear. I'm there with you and fighting to overcome it so I can function. It's not easy. Your Little Buddy is such a sweetheart I hope things end up being OK for him and all of us. I feel so helpless! Hugs.

Jo@awholeplotoflove said...

I'm sorry you're having such a crappy time dealing with all the out fall over there. I hope and am sure that you will come out fighting the other end. I'm still a little behind on blogging so am still catching up bud adored your sisters comment a couple of posts back. I loved how she came out fighting your corner x

AnnieOBTextiles said...

I can feel the pain of your first paragraph Meredith and believe you should speak out about your fears. If the needs of those who cannot speak out for themselves are not voiced by wonderful advocates like you, there is a danger they become forgotten and ignored. We live in troubling times and I hope we can all find some peace in the love and support of family and friends. Katie sounds like a treasure but who could not be enchanted by Little Buddy! Love all you knitting, especially the flower scarf.

Vera said...

Love your knitting. The sweater looks really interesting - can't wait to see the end result. And little buddy - great action shot of his and his robot - lol. I'm trying not to get too riled up, but it is not easy in these frightening times.

HollyM said...

Hi Meredith, I'm so sorry you're going through this in the states. Even many of we Canadians have been fearful about it. I don't comprehend how someone like that can be elected and then appoint such people as he has.
I fear for what may spill over here in the form of hate crimes. It's sad.
I've been watching less news.

I love your yarn projects and I'm looking forward to seeing results.

HollyM said...

Even here in Canada we are watching with fear. I've had to cut down on the news. There is an increase in hate crimes already.

I do love your yarns, especially the bright stuff. Can't wait to see your projects!

Sandra said...

Dear little Buddy..what a joy for you and for all of us who can't wait to hear his progress and see his beautiful face.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts for they are my thoughts. I've never been this afraid for all of us, for our country. I just never realized that there were so many hateful people that would support him. My senses still cannot grasp that a low life like *him* actually will run our country. No more rose colored glasses. Now I will expect the worst and find relief in the things *he* leaves alone.

Let us all try to have a glorious Thanksgiving, being surrounded in love and peace. We are entitled to one day, aren't we? ;)
Blessings.....

Lynne said...

Hi Meredith! Love all your latest projects. Just keep on knitting girl, it's a fine antidote for the anxiety most of us are feeling right now. The next four years are going to be a trial for sure. Hugs to that sweet little boy :)

Lorrie said...

It's hard to not give in to fearfulness during these uncertain times. The mood is filtering across the border to Canada as well.
Sending a virtual hug. Love the Paw Patrol robot - it's a popular show with my little grandson.

linda said...

I feel your fear and pain Meredith and can quite understand why you're feeling this way scary times indeed. I love the scarf it's so unusual, bulky yarn hurts my thumbs and hands so I use it rarely although I do love how quickly it works up. I really love that yarn the cowl is going to be really special and I'm dying to see how the sweater turns out. Sending big hugs for you and LB :) xxx

alexandra s.m. said...

Hello there Meredith!

You are courageous and honest. Thank you for expressing your distress. I feel it too. I am not one bit optimistic about the future as I think we know one thing for sure, anything is possible with these buffoons in power.

Your knitting projects are beautiful and I think it is admirable that you are still thinking about creating lovely and unique keepsakes for the people you love!

Wishing you all the best and thinking of you always,

Christina said...

I really like all you share with us Meredith. Speaking out and writing about your fears is important for helping you cope. Lets continue to fight this new 'normal', it is not acceptable, it is creeping up on us everywhere. Knitting for your son's girlfriends is just so nice! I am hope I can do that one day. x

Jodiebodie said...

I'm so sad that so many people in the world live in fear every day and we never would have expected it from a modern USA!

My current 'earworm' is advice from an Australian-Polish migrant who survived the interment camps during WW2 and saw what happened in Europe at that time: "Don't allow fear to override your intelligence" - advice just as relevant now as it has ever been.

Jodiebodie said...

I agree with you about bad things can happen when good people ignore it. Bystanders to bullying are as bad and as guilty as the bullies in my book.

Jodiebodie said...

The young, elderly, frail and vulnerable need all of their energies just to survive and have none left over to fight back which causes them to 'fall through the cracks.' That is why it is important for those who do have the strength and energy, to advocate and speak up on behalf of those who cannot.

Jodiebodie said...

I'm sorry to have littered your blog entry with comments today - I couldn't help it. The passion keeps pouring out of me every time I read about your pain and I couldn't agree more with the sentiments expressed by your readers and supporters. I'm not trying to hijack your blog, I promise! ;-)

It is wonderful news that your sons have found lovely partners and that you have such wonderful relationships with them. That is a blessing. A happy family is a blessing. Enjoy your Christmas gift crafting and you have reminded me to get my Christmas preparations going before is too late! :-)

handmade by amalia said...

I'm with you, it is a crazy world we are living in. A big hug.
Amalia
xo

bittenbyknittin said...

I understand your fear, but (so far) it is based on what *might* happen, not what is happening now. My mantras are "Things could be worse" and "Not happening now". Meanwhile, I donate to orgs that protect our rights, the environments, etc. Also, *calling* government reps (not emailing or FBing) is the most effective way to communicate with them. I'm heartened by how involved people are becoming. I am also heartened by some softening of the rhetoric. Let's hope for the best but prepare for the worst.