Sunday, July 12, 2015

Mixing sad and happy times, in two parts.........

Oh beautiful Wisconsin, I miss you.  You were stunning in your Summertime glory last week, and I miss your cool breezes and beautiful temperatures.  We had the best time on our trip to Wisconsin, but of course it was mixed with very sad news.  On the way to the airport on July 3, we received the news that our dear friend had passed away that morning.   You see July 3 is my birthday.  I never make a big deal about it and actually rarely think about it.  But on this birthday my dear friend passed away and my SIL's got married, it was quite an emotional day.  

The wedding was outside in a park with just family attending.  It was a lovely, warm day with lots of children's voices in the background as they played on the little beach.  I was so thrilled to witness this special occasion,   A beautiful ceremony filled with so much love, for two women who are dear to my heart.  My MIL would have been so proud to witness this special moment, she was in all of our hearts that day. 

Here is my family minus my Mr 18, he had to stay home with a case of the flu, which was also discovered on my birthday.  He was not happy but there was no way he was going to travel on a plane in his condition.  I wish we could photo-shop him in here with us so our picture could be complete.

Mr. 21 drove up from Columbus with his darling girlfriend.  He made my day.  I love his beautiful smile and the way he adores his whole family.  He may frustrate me until I want to scream, but he also makes me smile and laugh, and he absolutely gives the best hugs ever.

The 4th of July was spent at my other SIL's house.  She lives near a lake and the whole family comes out to spend the day together.  We usually miss this event every year, but this year we were able to participate.  It was the best, and you know who was the star of the day.  Little Buddy was adored by everyone.  It warms my heart how this whole family of mine has embraced him with so much love.  That goes for both sides of the family.  Everyone took their turn walking around with him, picking him up, putting him on the riding lawnmower (that was in the shed), swinging in the hammock swing with him, and........

Letting him drive the pontoon boat.

Here he is having the time of his life with his cousin Chad who absolutely adores him.

This is my favorite house on the lake.  Can you even imagine living here?  I think it is my dream home, just look at that front porch!

I can see myself on a porch swing, reading a book and listening to the gentle waves.  Ah, such a dream!

I will give you part two of our trip soon.  We got home late Wednesday evening from the trip and I was up and out the door early on Thursday to head off to work.  I worked two 12 hour days in a row including paperwork and driving time, and have spent the entire weekend getting caught up at home.  It is funny how only five days away can completely throw you off schedule.  It is amazing to me how many weeds take advantage of your absence and grow like the dickens, how mold and mildew creeps onto your pavers, and the dust settles on your furniture and floor like you have been gone for years.  And don't even get me started on the dog hair!  

Mr. 18 recently informed me he would rather not go away to school yet.  We had many discussions on the subject and his mind is made up.  I am not happy or unhappy, I have to trust he is making the right decision for himself.  He is not into drinking and carrying on, he is a quiet soul, so this very well may be the best option for him at this time.   We spent the last two weeks getting him out of one school and into another, he will go to a very good four year school close to us while living at home.   But he still has to behave like a college student so he is now responsible for many things I used to do for him like laundry, changing his sheets, cleaning up his bathroom, making his doctor appointments and such.  We spent a good deal of the weekend going through his room and clearing things out.  He does not like change so it was very much still a little boys room.  But whether he likes it or not he has to grow up and so we took things down, stored many items and donated a ton of things to charity.  It felt good to help him go through his things and remember how special he was as a little boy.  He is still very special.

This weekend has also been about trying to make sure our friends wife and family are doing the best they can in this horrible situation.  How do you prepare them for a lifetime without the one they love so much?   The memorial service for our dear friend is next Saturday.  It will be a day of both celebration and sorrow.  

Tomorrow I am back to work which may be a good thing as it will get me away from working so hard sorting things out at my house.  Once again I apologize for missing out on all of your happenings.  I think I am going to be bogged down emotionally as well as time-wise until next Sunday. I feel like all I have been doing on my blog lately is apologizing.  Please forgive my absence as we are moving through this difficult time.  I don't do well with change either so this is a tough time.  Please know I am sending you all love and I hope you have a wonderful week.


WildflowerWool said...

So sorry to hear about your friend. Times like this are always hard. The day looked beautiful for the wedding. Such a happy day!

Primroses Attic said...

Such sad news for you, on such a happy day. Will be thinking of you next week.

Gracie Saylor said...

No apologies necessary, Meredith. Thanks for posting when you can. I am glad you had such a good time with your family in Wisconsin... those photos of LB steering the boat are priceless :) Good for you changing gears with Mr. 18 and helping him get ready for school. I'm sorry he was too ill to go on the Wisconsin trip.
You and yours will continue in my thoughts with love as you settle back to new home routines and deal with the loss of your friend even as you continue to celebrate his life. Yesterday my oldest daughter and I were over in the neighborhood where I lived when my husband died almost six years ago now...sorrow and yet celebration for life shared and appreciated. xx

Linda @ A La Carte said...

When times like these come, and they do come to all of us at some time, I like to remember this....'weeping may endure for the night, but JOY cometh in the morning'
Sending love and hugs to you at this hard time in your life.


Becky L. said...

Sorry for the loss of your friend. I know so many people suffering physically that I really need to send cards to them. I know it helps since I have been o n the receiving end. Glad your trip went well and you had a good time celebrating with family. Take care of yourself and get life back into some degree of order for your family. Hugs and prayers to you!!

Annie Cholewa said...

Thinking of you as you navigate this happy/sad up and down time dear Meredith x

Teresa Kasner said...

My dear friend Meredith.. thank you for sharing the wonderful wedding of your SIL and all the fun lil buddy had being loved by so many family members. I'm sorry to hear your friend passed on and I hope the memorial service will help everyone with joyful memories. We're here in Vegas and have had a comfy soft bed in Planet Hollywood and will head to the Grand Canyon tomorrow. You're in my thoughts. ((hugs)), Teresa :-)

Karen said...

Oh, Meredith, I can only imagine how full your heart must be right now, with everything that is going on, both good and challenging. Sending you hugs for the days ahead. Take good care of yourself.

Teresa Hennes said...

First of all I am so sorry for your loss! And on your birthday of all days!
Happy belated birthday. I hope you got to speend some quality time with your family. Just the 4 of you. (sorry Mr 21 was so sick).
No wonder LB is a hit with everyone! he is such a sweety! I love the picture of him looking for the bean bags in the hole! He was so proud of himself! He sure had a lot of adventures with your Wisconsin families! He was really concentrating on driving the boat!
I think it is good for your 18 year old to stay home if he isn't comfortable with living away from home yet! But I am also glad that he will have more responsibilties! He will be more prepared when he does move out. It is just harder for some kids. Plus he will still be there to help out. Any experience is good. Please try to take care of yourself in this time of sorrow.

Teresa Hennes said...

Whoops...Mr 18 year old had to stay home. I hope he is much better now. No lasting effects. Read Teresa Read! LOL!

Pradeepa said...

Sorry to hear about your friend. Enjoyed looking at your happy family photos.

Stins said...

Live is tough enough as it is at the moment for you. So many things and emotions to deal with... Just make sure to think about your self too! Those little buddy pictures are so heartwarming... Lots of love from Mirjam.

Kris said...

Oh my dear Meredith, I have been absent far too long, and haven't been around to offer you support. I am so very sorry for the loss of your friend. You truly have suffered so much loss.
As for the wedding, may they have many happy years together, to add to the twenty they have already had.
Your sons girl is adorable! I hope your middle guy is feeling much better now. And a very Happy Birthday to your sweet little man!!! Where does time go? I can't believe his adoption has been a year ago!!
I hope things begin to settle down now for you.
Much love

Jo@awholeplotoflove said...

I'm so sorry to hear of your sad loss, it must have been a very strange day for you & I'm glad happiness was part of it too. You can see the joy in little Buddys face, he looks like such a delightful little boy to be around it's no wonder you & your family adore him. Good on you for listening to Mr 18, my son was ready to go away & he adored every bit of his time at uni. I'd of hated to send him if he wasn't ready for it though & would of certainly encouraged him to explore other options if he wasn't. Take care x

Amy at love made my home said...

I am so very sorry to hear about your friend. I know that you knew it was coming, but it must have made for a very bittersweet day. My thoughts and hugs are, as always, with you.

I am very glad that you had some great good times too, Congratulations again to your aunts on their special day! It looks as though they did things in exactly their own way and style, how wonderful is that! Buddy looks as though he had a wonderful time too!! He loves his family doesn't he.

Mr 18's decision seems very mature to me. To be able to work through it all, and speak up and say, no, I have changed my mind it isn't the right decision is a very mature thing to do. I hope that he loves the college that he has chosen, I am sure that you will love having him around and Buddy will too!

I hope that this week is rather less frantic for you and that you can return to a more normal rhythm of life. Thinking of you, sending all good thoughts and hugs and love. xxxx

mamasmercantile said...

So sorry for your loss Meredith. The wedding photo was beautiful, such a shame your son was ill and couldn't make it. Wishing them both a long happy marriage. It was wonderful to see Little Buddy having so much fun, you were certainly blessed when he came into your life. Take care.

Ali said...

So sorry to hear about the loss of your friend, thinking of you at this sad time. Glad though that you were able to spend some lovely times with family the wedding pictures are lovely. X

Christina said...

I am sorry about your sad loss Meredith. I also wish you a belated Happy Birthday. I am glad you had a wonderful family weekend with almost all your loved ones. Thinking of you. Cxxx

Valentina Olden Patterns said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Meredith, it's so sad...
But I'm also very happy for your SIL and her partner, and for your whole family, you look like a very close one, and that's beautiful! xx

Jill at emeraldcottage said...

Dearest Meredith, I always feel that I don't express myself very well in these situations. I want to give you a big hug and let you know how heavy my heart is for you with the loss of your friend. I have two close friends quite poorly at the moment. It's such a worry. I am a great believer in one door closing another one opens, and in this case it is the door of the happy future of your SIL and her partner. It's wonderful that they got married, and wonderful that you and your family could be there. Minus your middle boy of course, I hope he's feeling better.
Hugest hugs from me at such a difficult time Meredith,

Thammie TheDollMaker said...

I'm sorry about your friend. I hope your Mr18 is feeling better. It is good to see a loving and caring family.
Take care of yourself,

(visiting from Jen's blog)

kathy b said...

Hugs to you Mere. Hugs hugs hugs.

ITs a good thing you didnt tell me where in Wisconsin because I would have gone up and Found you!.

Your friend is in Heaven, I just know it.

The marriage is a wonderful JOY!

I think our children cannot possibly KNOW their career choice, college choice etc at such a young age. I applaud your son for knowing himself at this age. Not just following the leaders. Al did not want to go away to college. She was not happy at home either, but at least she us her, biggest fans, to dry her tears.
She eventually figured things out for herself. She moved 18 hours away 3 years ago and we want her back!

Wishing you an extra hour you didnt know you had coming!

ellen said...

Dear One,
I am so behind here, but I want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Such a time of joy and happiness coupled with such a painful loss.
Wishing you comfort and sending love, Ellen.

CJ said...

Oh Meredith, what a roller coaster of emotions. I'm so very sorry for the loss of your dear friend, I know what a huge sadness that is for you. The wedding sounds wonderful, relaxed and personal - perfect. Outside, with the laughter of children in the background is just the nicest way to do it I think. I'm sorry Mr 18 was ill, I do hope he's all better now. What a gorgeous couple Mr 21 and his beautiful girlfriend are. And how lovely to see how happy your Little Buddy is with all of his family. I bet he had the time of his life on that boat. Mr 18 sounds a remarkable boy, how good that he knows his own mind and what will suit him. It's great that he can go to college close to home. I'm glad there are positive things and happiness amongst the sadness. I'm sending you a big cyber hug and my very best wishes. I hope you manage to find some time to relax away from work and busy-ness. Hugs, CJ xx

Judy S. said...

Hmmm, sure thought I wrote a post yesterday, but probably forgot to publish it. Big hugs to you, Mere, you've had a couple of difficult weeks. Know that you're in my thoughts and hope that you have a peaceful week. Where in WI were you; those photos made me homesick. Take care.

linda said...

You are having a very mixed time of it Meredith talk about an emotional rollercoaster. You take care of yourself sending lots of hugs. xxx

Lynne said...

Lots of ups and downs for you to deal with my friend! You're so lucky to have such a wonderful family beside you. We will all still be here when things settle down and you can get back to your blogging and creating. Lots of hugs!!!!! (Oh and that house on the lake!!! So beautiful...)

Carla from The River said...

Sending Wisconsin HUGS!
I am glad you had a fun time. I love the photos of LB peeking down the hole of the game. LOL
xx oo

Clare said...

Sorry to hear abiut your friend must have been a bitter sweet break but so lovely to spend time with family congrats to the happy couple.
Clare x

Betsy said...

Hi Meredith,I've been MIA in blog land for a week now and I'm still not really "with it", but I did want you to know that I'm thinking of you and your friends family. You have had SO much happening recently, my head spins for you. :-). Love the pictures of the little guy steering the boat. He looks like he's having the time of his life. All three of our kids lived at home while attending college, it obviously didn't hurt any of them, and their independent spirit. With three in college at once, it was a matter of finances. However, we enforced many of the same things you talked about, like laundry, cleaning etc.

I'm still recuperating and I'm very frustrated that things are healing as quickly as I had hoped . All in all though, my heart is beating and I'm still here!!' Can't complain too much can I?
Blessings my dear Meredith.

elns said...

I'm so sorry for you loss and the sad times for you and your family. I'm grateful that you were able to spend some time coincidentally with some of the people you love the most in life. That you were together, celebrating love and joy is something so important.

Little Buddy has some mad Corn Hole Skills. hehe.

Anyways. I'm wishing you and yours lots of heart and healing during this difficult time.

You have many transitions going on right now. May they all go as smoothly as possible.

xoxo ES

Helen said...

What a mixture of emotions, I'm sorry to hear about your friend and hope that his loved ones are finding comfort in each other.

The wedding looks like a wonderful day, how nice to have time with all the family and join in the festivities. Little Buddy looks like he is having the time of his life!

I hope that you aren't too busy and exhausted and can find peace as well xo

Ingrid K. said...

Dear Meredith, no need to apologize for anything. I am glad you got to spend some lovely time with your family, which is what matters the most.

Sorry to hear about your friend.
Ingrid xx

Caffeine Girl said...

No need to apologize.
I'm glad you got some good Wisconsin time. I do love the state, although the politics are getting harder and harder to take!
My son didn't start his bachelor's degree until he was 22, and now he's in vet school. You are a great mom, so I am sure that your boys are ready to make good choices for themselves.
So sorry about your losses. Thinking of you.

Grammy Braxton said...

Dear, dear Meredith. No apologies are necessary when you are enjoying family and helping friends deal with grief. You sound like you have your plate full and some things must be shelved for a time in order to clean that plate. Take care of yourself. Having Mr. 18 at home might be a blessing. Hopefully, he will turn into a helpful young man who cleans, does laundry (for everyone) and helps care for LB. Well, one can hope, anyway. :)

Toni said...

I'm so sorry about your loss! I know it was expected, but it's still hard to say good-bye.

And happy belated birthday!!!