Sunday, February 23, 2020

When Life gets hard I make things............


When things get hard in life I make things.  It makes me feel better.  The feel of yarn traveling through my hands, it gives me peace.

I have been missing this lately, really there has been little time for creating, during the week I am just too tired.  I feel like I have lost my purpose a bit with yarn, I need to get back to it because it helps me stay grounded during my busy days.

This weekend has been so hard.  My oldest and two of his dear friends flew out to San Diego from all over the country to be with the family of their best friend.  They got in very late, they all met for the first time since the death of their beloved friend.  They celebrated his life with a paddle out on Del Mar Beach in the cold and windy weather Saturday morning.  Most people swam, my son and his friends were part of that group.  They threaded water for a long time, holding flowers in the air as the ashes of their dear friend were spread into the ocean.  They were there for his new wife, they were there for his family and they were there for each other.  I am so happy he could make the trip, it is the first step in the healing process.  The whole thing was covered live on the news in San Diego, over 11 minutes of coverage about a young man who was in the navy who lost his life way to soon.  Can you even believe that?  11 minutes of uninterrupted coverage of a ceremony to celebrate a life, that is amazing to me in this day and age of horrible news.  Today they are on their way home, it will take hours with layovers and time changes and I just have to say I can't wait to wrap my arms around my son and tell him how proud of him I am.

Late this morning the mother of the young man who passed away sent a group text to the mom's of the boys who are still here.  She said she was so proud of our boys, the men they have become, for being there for her family, when she hugged them it helped to soothe her soul.  That is about the most beautiful text I have ever received.  I wrote back that all of us have raised these boys in our own way, all of us have contributed to them growing up into the men they are, and that includes her.  So much sadness my friends, there is just so much sadness.

So after I sent her text back I went to my yarn stash because the one thing I can do for her is make her something.  I can make her a shawl that she may never even use, but it will be filled with love from me.  She can wrap it around herself when she is sad or lonely and know that love has been put into every stitch.  So that is where you will find me every minute I am free, creating something to represent the love I had for her son and the compassion I feel for her and her family during this horrible time.  I hope it is a hug that will help to soothe her soul, and I hope making it will help to soothe mine.

Hug your family and friends, life changes fast.

28 comments:

kathy b said...

Beautiful tribute. 11 minutes. Nowadays, that's so wonderful. What a fabulous mother to send you all grateful texts. I think she'll treasure your shawl. Im so proud of the young man your son is.

happy hooker said...

I have tears in my eyes as I read this. Making a shawl for will help ease your pain and hopefully help her in her grief. She will be able to wrap herself in your love and know that you think of her. Sending hugs to you and your family. x

Grandmabeckyl.blogspot said...

oh sweet friend...so thoughtful of you to find something to do while mourning loss of your son's friend. So sad! Hard to lose anyone. Lost a good friend end of January due to cancer. She was in her 70s and loved to sing, was a good children's choir director at church we were at when we first moved to Oregon 31 years ago. I pray your son and friends get home safely. Hugs and blesssings and may you find peace in Jesus' name.

TheAwakenedSoul said...

Oh, that's wonderful that you are making a shawl for her. The celebration of his life sounds like it was beautiful. It's so sad when people die so young.

Araignee said...

What a wonderful idea. A shawl is like a warm hug. I'm sure it will bring her much comfort.

Teresa Kasner said...

Mere, I'm so sorry for the loss of a fine young man. I always get so sad when a young person is lost.. their whole lives ahead of them. I just know his mother will love your shawl and wear it with pride. You're such a wonderful person.
((hugs)), Teresa :-)

Betsy said...

Oh Meredith. My heart just hurt as I read your words. Such a beautiful thing that the boys did for their friend. Life is just so hard. And for his Mom to take the time to send a text in the midst of her own grief is a testament to the bond those boys have. I'm sure she will appreciate the love you are putting into each and every stitch in the shawl. Meanwhile, I have been praying for you and your son and will continue to. Wishing you love and that you will have peace in your heart my dear friend.
Blessings,
Betsy

Nance said...

Despite the sadness and sorrow of this post, it gave me some hope and some joy. It reminds me that there are such good people in the world. That the capacity for Love and Respect remains so high and so present. Take care.

Janice Smith said...

What a sad, beautifully written post . . . wishing comfort and peace to all.

tammy j said...

can barely see the screen for the tears.
she will love her shawl. it will be like a forever hug.
bless you Meredith.
love
Tam

Melanie said...

As the mother who has also lost a son (at age 21) this post was especially heartwarming to me. My son's memorial was a standard one; nothing as beautiful and eloquent as your son's friend, but my son's friends came to visit me (and Brian) about a month after Phil's service and it meant so much to me. So yes, continue to encourage your son to reach out to his friend's mother once in awhile. It means so much. And God bless you too, for making a shawl for this grieving mother. I can tell you from one who's been there (and is STILL there - there is no such thing as getting over the death of your child), that she will love and cherish this gift and act of kindness more than you can ever know.

Lorrie said...

Such sorrow. What wonderful young men to honour their friend in such a way. As the yarn slips through your fingers, I know that it will absorb the love and grief with which you are creating it, and it will comfort the ache in that mother's heart. Hugs to you.

Anonymous said...

From this one article on this one day, you have made a definite change in my winter’s soul. It is brightened to see the hope, Love, empathy, and hugs there are to spread around.
Thank you.
anonymously, Annette

karen said...

So sorry for your loss and that mother will treasure your compassion and love with what you make for her.

Christina said...

You are a wonderful woman Meredith, your heart is full of love and I am sure the love worked into the shawl you are making for a grieving mum will be felt every time she wraps it around her shoulders xx

Anonymous said...

Meredith, I am writing not to top your story, but to say every stitch you make is a blessing & divinely inspired. A friend's husband was killed in a tragedy where there wasn't a body for her to see. Knowing she would have many supporters, flowers, & food, I felt I was to provide something that brought a different comfort. I had a very soft stylized blanket delivered to her. Soon after I began receiving photos of her saying it felt as if her husband was wrapping her in his warmth. She quickly adopted a tiny crippled dog for company & he gravitated to the same blanket & the photos became of both of them snuggling.

Your kindness & love is guiding you & you will be a great
blessing beyond words, forever. Because this loss is just that profound. Your family has been and will remain in my prayers.

Delighted Hands said...

Sorrow does roll in heavy ways...
Savor every minute is the answer.
Thanks for sharing with us-

Anonymous said...

How very nice of the young man's mother to contact you. I am sure she will cherish the shawl you make for her. May her son rest in peace.
Marilyn

Karen said...

What a beautiful thing to do, Meredith. There is so little to say or do in times like these, but you sent that mom comfort and love. I'm so sad for everyone involved. The ceremony sounds so beautiful, brought tears to my eyes.

CJ said...

Oh Meredith, what a beautiful post, you have moved me to tears. Your son and his friends sound like truly amazing young men. My heart goes out to the family, I cannot being to imagine the pain. Making a shawl is such a lovely thing to do, I know it will be well received. Sending hugs to you today my friend. CJ xx

Anita said...

Such sad news to hear and with strength and love, the healing can start and finish in its own time.x What a lovely idea to make a shawl, a precious gift. I send you hugs and kisses from across the ocean. x

Sandy said...

11 minutes on the news Wow! I was actually wondering about legality of spread ashing in the ocean. I wondered because my extended family spread ashes from one of my cousins on his favorite golf course and city park and they had to do it on sly. How nice they were all able to spend time together to honor the young man. His mothers words were indeed very touching, and your response was spot on. Perfect to pick up yarn. I know how healing it can be for both you and she. I did a lot of knitting and or crocheting at my Mother's bedside when she was dying. It help keep me calm and she liked watching me make something. She was always worn out from talking when she had visitors and said many people can't just sit in silence. She liked that I didn't force her to talk, but just sat with her and knitted. I received a lapghan made from some old blogging mates after Mom passed. I don't use it often to cover up with, but it sits here on the back of a chair in my office, it's with me constantly. What a beautiful thing you're doing to give her the hug and love in the form of your shawl.

Needles and Wool said...

I feel so sad for your son's loss of one of his best friends and how it has touched you and the other moms of the friends. It is so sad that he died at an age when life is starting and there is so much hope. My condolences to you and your family and his family at this difficult time.

Jeannie Gray Knits said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure the young man's mom will cherish the shawl. And now I have to go find a tissue and wipe my eyes. Please know you are all in my thoughts.

Babajeza said...

Hello Meredith

we've lost three students and a youmg teacher in the past few years, which was hard on all of us but even more on the young people. It seems they don't have a concept of death at all. It's just not in their thinking because they are young, they all look forward. In their thinking dying is for old people. It's beautiful that your son and his friend found a way to say goodbye to their friend and be their for his family. All the best! Regula

Jo said...

I'm so sorry for everyone for the loss of this young man, how terribly sad. It does have a ripple effect when one dies so young, it's not only the immediate family who feels the loss but friends and friends families, who have seen them grow from babies to adults, who feel it too. My son's friend died suddenly when they had just moved to high school and it's something his friends will never get over.

Jodiebodie said...

I am so sorry for your losses - that of you, your family, his family and friends, his community/communities. I am shedding a few tears as I read through your posts about these extraordinary young people - they must be extraordinary to get 11 minutes news coverage.
We can hope for a better future when the news chooses a compassionate story over the plethora of wicked things that usually fill up the bulletins.

Look at the amazing impact these young people are having on the world. Maybe the adage is true "It's not the years in your life that count but the life in your years."

The most recent generation of teens and young adults gives me much hope for the future. They seem to be much more mature than my generation at the same age - granted they have bigger worries than we did - and with different sensibilities. May they ever have the confidence and conviction to live good lives that help rather than hinder progress towards a more compassionate, peaceful, cleaner world that they want to see.

Sending love your way xxx

Andrea Charles said...

How tough it must be for the mother !! And I appreciate your gesture of making a shawl for her. A perfect consolation is never possible because the pain they feel is oblivious to others. But making an effort to comfort them by devoting selfless time is incredible. Happy stitching and keep spreading love, Meredith!!